I won't bore you all once again with my marital and financial woes, although a post soon enough might appear on the subject just for the venting. Then again, it may be a novel.
Lived apart since April of last year and my lease is up on March 31st this year. The building is going condo and I must vacate by then. Things into storage, moving, packing, taping, $$$, lifting... blah, blah, blah. We all know the costs associated with moving I'm sure. Then there are deposits, utilities and the other bills don't wait until you are settled once again. Finding a home/apartment/room/house/box will be hard enough but nearly impossible since I am currently unemployed. Needless to say, this has left me with an enormous amount of stress and leaving me sleepless, anxious & literally sick at times - not to mention depressed. Anyway, this is just to make you understand why I say my brain is the equivalent of Mush lately (remember that from the little Rascals? "Kids, eat your mush" - "Don't drink the milk" - ""Why"? - "It's spoiled"!
So I pick up my son this evening since I have him every Wednesday night. For the first time I try to explain to him that I need to move but it won't change how often I see him or anything other than where we drive to once I pick him up. Oh boy, then the unexpected tears started. First he cried and cried and cried that he wanted me to move back home. Then he cried that he didn't want to move from "his" apartment. He explained to me that he loves the view, loves where his doggy and kitty are, and even went as far to explain that he loves the refrigerator here! What it boils down to is that this little boy has seen a lot of change throughout his little years. He's loved and then some, there's no shortage of love that he receives, but I'm not so sure he fully understands Daddy and Mommy living apart, the moves, him being dragged around... I can barely handle it, how can I expect a 5 year old boy to do so?
I'm pretty much at the boiling point already, I really didn't need the extra guilt and sadness added to my already abysmal existence.
Lived apart since April of last year and my lease is up on March 31st this year. The building is going condo and I must vacate by then. Things into storage, moving, packing, taping, $$$, lifting... blah, blah, blah. We all know the costs associated with moving I'm sure. Then there are deposits, utilities and the other bills don't wait until you are settled once again. Finding a home/apartment/room/house/box will be hard enough but nearly impossible since I am currently unemployed. Needless to say, this has left me with an enormous amount of stress and leaving me sleepless, anxious & literally sick at times - not to mention depressed. Anyway, this is just to make you understand why I say my brain is the equivalent of Mush lately (remember that from the little Rascals? "Kids, eat your mush" - "Don't drink the milk" - ""Why"? - "It's spoiled"!
So I pick up my son this evening since I have him every Wednesday night. For the first time I try to explain to him that I need to move but it won't change how often I see him or anything other than where we drive to once I pick him up. Oh boy, then the unexpected tears started. First he cried and cried and cried that he wanted me to move back home. Then he cried that he didn't want to move from "his" apartment. He explained to me that he loves the view, loves where his doggy and kitty are, and even went as far to explain that he loves the refrigerator here! What it boils down to is that this little boy has seen a lot of change throughout his little years. He's loved and then some, there's no shortage of love that he receives, but I'm not so sure he fully understands Daddy and Mommy living apart, the moves, him being dragged around... I can barely handle it, how can I expect a 5 year old boy to do so?
I'm pretty much at the boiling point already, I really didn't need the extra guilt and sadness added to my already abysmal existence.
