LIBERALS Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts? A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal? A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have a Liberal passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call a Liberal with an IQ of 130? A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree? A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals? A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is the Liberal doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse? A: I don't know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat? A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.? A: Its the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A Liberal parade.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberals ear? A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a Liberal. Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure? A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of a Liberal running for Congress for the first time? A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
source:
LIBERALS Joke - Single Liners