Leatherface: The Doomed Thesis

[Abishai100]

What is the definition of evil? Greed? Lust? Wrath? Deception?

The Christian Bible describes evil in terms of vanity, betrayal, murder, and theft. It also explores the rise and dominion of anti-social figures such as Satan, the AntiChrist, and the mysterious Harlot of Babylon who lure men away from civic duties.

The New Testament reveals Jesus's important teachings regarding the value of humility, friendship, and mercy. Without mercy/empathy, you can't forge healthy bonds or celebrate meaningful relationships. Without mercy/empathy, you sink towards envy, gluttony, pride, and even sloth.

Americans love horror films since they present monsters and ghouls who signify a human angst regarding the frailty of friendship and the reality of danger and psychosis. America is after all filled with confluence-related intrigue, so people are constantly evaluating the reliability of social contracts, so American horror films such as A Nightmare on Elm Street and American Psycho point to a unique American view of the frailty of sanity and security (and the presence of anti-social monsters).

Virginia Woolf described in her sensitive novel Mrs. Dalloway the mental struggle of the daily subtle 'metaphysics war' that rages in the hearts of human beings conscious and anxious about friendships and community values.

So here's a short-story I cooked up about a curious metaphysics/divinity student at Oxford who starts to investigate mysticism-folklore and discovers an 'academic gatekeeper.'

"What did curiosity do to the cat?"



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THE GATEKEEPER

Edgar was fascinated by Freudian psychology and how it related to his studies about the culture of spiritualism, the rise of atheism, and the development of ornate belief-systems such as Catholicism and even Satanism. He decided to take a third-year sabbatical during his graduate study of Metaphysics at Oxford University (England). During the sabbatical, Edgar planned to study the evolution of 'mystical mythologies/folklore' around the world such as the Irish Leprechaun (a fortune-omen 'imp'), the Abominable Snowman (an evolutionary deviant fabled to be haunting snowy mountains), and the Bermuda Triangle (a mysterious region of Earth's seas where inexplicable disappearances of ships and planes are reported).

Edgar proposed to create a 'compendium' of mysticism-oriented folklore and how such folklore complements the development of standard but well-organized systems of thought/belief such as Agnosticism and Judaism. Edgar hoped to relate the Abominable Snowman with the Hebrew mysticism folk-figure of the 'Golem' (a Frankenstein-esque 'omen-creature' made into a sentient being from mud and clay) through an analysis of 'land-based religion' (since both the Abominable Snowman and the Golem signify an appreciation of terrestrial 'dominions'). As Edgar studied more and more about the Abominable Snowman (also called the 'Yeti') and the Golem, he started feeling like he was examining too deeply into other-worldly matters.

Edgar travelled to Transylvania, Romania where the folk legends surrounding Dracula enriched the history and culture of the people. There, Edgar met a strange sage-like man (at a pub) who insisted that Edgar's inquiries into the deep connections between 'folk ghouls' (such as the Yeti and the Golem) would unwittingly land him in the vicinity of a terrible but real monstrous sentient being known as Leatherface the Gatekeeper). Edgar insisted on knowing what this 'Gatekeeper' was, and the sage explained that the 'Gatekeeper' ensured that no one snooping around to find clues regarding the real existence of phantoms and goblins would easily find answers. The sage warned Edgar that Leatherface the Gatekeeper carried a terrifying chainsaw as a weapona and wore a hideous mask made out of the skin of human corpses.

Edgard refused to believe in the unusual omen fables about this esoteric Transylvanian 'Leatherface the Gatekeeper.' So Edgar continued his studies and investigations and decided to explore the castle of Count Dracula and a nearby cemetery where recent local grave-robbings were being inexplicably committed. As Edgar stood over one of the tombstones one night in the cemetery, he noticed a strange shadowy figure approaching him. The figure seemed to be carrying a chainsaw and wearing a very strange mask, and Edgar immediately concluded that the figure was indeed Leatherface the Gatekeeper! Edgar was both relieved and unnerved to discover that this very real 'Gatekeeper' spoke English(!) and wanted to engage Edgar in a conversation/discussion about metaphysics and the dangers of 'snooping around too much.'

EDGAR: What do you want, Leatherface?
LEATHERFACE: I want to know what brings you to Transylvania!
EDGAR: I'm curious about Count Dracula.
LEATHERFACE: Well, Count Dracula cares nothing for you, so be on your way, Edgar!
EDGAR: How did you know my name??
LEATHERFACE: I'm the Gatekeeper. It's my business to identify trespassers.
EDGAR: What is the penalty for snooping around?
LEATHERFACE: If you inquire too much about the mystical world of 'dark forces,' you will die!
EDGAR: How will I die?
LEATHERFACE: I will kill you while you sleep?
EDGAR: Are you some kind of 'dream-warden'?
LEATHERFACE: I am a guardian of pedestrian temperance.
EDGAR: I see, so you're like the Headless Horsemen or the Grim Reaper!
LEATHERFACE: Correct.
EDGAR: How will I complete my Oxford thesis?
LEATHERFACE: Why don't you write a fictional story about the Yeti instead?
EDGAR: That sounds plausible (and feasible)...and safer.
LEATHERFACE: Indeed it is, Edgar. Tell your Oxford pals to stay away from the Yeti (and the Golem).
EDGAR: You can be sure I will relay the 'human omen.'
LEATHERFACE: Then go in safety...and never return.

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[Abishai100]

The Prodigy

Here's a tale about a math prodigy who leads the precocious Edgar to once again evaluate the psychological and philosophical value of 'intellectual temperance.'

This short-story was inspired by the symbolic boundary-paranoia film Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist.

I had fun writing this, but I felt like asking, "What troubles us most about 'monsters'?"


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Edgar decided to give up his study of 'other-worldly mysticism' and focus on the metaphysics of everyday life and the academic pursuit of the 'normalization of unpredictability in otherwise everyday scenarios' (e.g., highway traffic). His thesis was now titled The Mathematics of Deformed Regular Shapes, which would form the basis of his future book, an investigation of the analytics of betrayed expectations in belief-system rituals (e.g., Crucifixion apocrypha, congested praying-spaces, etc.). Edgar always loved mathematics and pure reason and wanted to apply this interest to a greater understanding of 'normal human behaviors.' He was also relieved to be free psychologically from the shadow of 'Leatherface the Gatekeeper.'

Edgar was now an Oxford professor, writing articles, doing math and philosophy research, reading journals about metaphysics and divinity and collecting National Geographic videos about the general anthropology of evolving belief-system rituals and those that never seem to change (e.g., Kwanzaa, Ramadan, etc.). Edgar received a phone call from an esteemed peer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), a philosophy professor named Darren. Darren apparently had a mathematics 'prodigy' in his midst, a sophomore MIT student (named Eric) from California who was interested in the same sorts of things Edgar taught/studied. Darren wanted to arrange a sabbatical for Eric to study with Edgar at Oxford, and Edgar accepted the request.

Edgar was extremely impressed with Eric and his keen sense of the rules and efficiency requirements of applied mathematics. Edgar and Eric began working on a theory to coordinate geometry principles regarding regular Platonic shapes to the dynamic quality of developing urban grids/architecture. Edgar and Eric hoped to prove that an analysis of the predicable forms in geometry would yield insights into the ebb-and-flow nature of urban landscapes. Eric was very happy, since he liked the subject of 'land survey,' and Edgar was fascinated by the accessibility of mathematics for the evaluation of 'urban anthropology.' Edgar told Darren that Eric's real gifts would surely land him in some prestigious position at a think-tank (or perhaps even the NSA!). Eric was immediately awarded a special applied-math lecture to professors at MIT.

Edgar was preparing some notes on an Oxford symposium lecture he was about to give regarding the demand for multiculturalism in the modern classroom. He was going to tell the audience about his prodigy student Eric (a Chinese-American from California) and how working with Eric enhanced his studies related to general philosophy. Edgar decided to take a nap to feel more energized before the lecture. However, it was during his dream-sleep that Edgar once again saw the terrifying vision of 'Leatherface the Gatekeeper.' The chainsaw-wielding ghoul approached him in what seemed like a lucid desert (in the dream) and told him, "Be wary of those schoolboy 'prodigies' who never seem to understand the moral value of the Occult!" Edgar woke up in a cold sweat and resolved never to tell Eric about anything Occultism-related (e.g., Ouija)!

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[Abishai100]

Killer Clowns from Outer Space

Here's a tale about subjective values, inspired by the masquerade-anarchy American horror-film Clownhouse.

I like the American attitude of 'look before you learn.'

Enjoy!


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After watching the gripping American journalism-drama film The Insider (about the tobacco insider scandal involving the dangerous lacing of cigarettes by a major company), Edgar became curious about the political machine of the modern age (or general bureaucracy and the 'psychology' of civilization). He was wary of thinking too much (about anything really) after his strange dream about 'Leatherface the Gatekeeper' (regarding his procedural analysis of civilization shape with his prodigy student Eric). However, Edgar knew that to remain an Oxford professor, he would have to study something!

Edgar decided to investigate the patterns and fingerprints of smalltown American local folklore about visitations by alien intelligences. Edgar reasoned that an alien intelligence is not technically mystical or ghoulish, so Leatherface the Gatekeeper would not bother him! Edgar came across a rather interesting case in rural Texas involving a small community of Americans claiming they were abducted on Halloween Eve by chameleon-like aliens who transformed into humanoid 'clowns' (circus performers), claiming they wanted to understand the human psycho-sociology of humor/comedy.

Edgar thought the story was absolutely insane but certainly worth investigating. He travelled to Texas and decided to interview the townsfolk who claimed they saw these 'clown aliens' during the Halloween Abduction Affair (as it came to be known). He interviewed 10 people in all, including the town tailor (Stanley Rogers) who believed the clown aliens were evil and trying to hatch a scheme to commit genocide on Earth. He also interviewed the town mailman (Ted Clyde) who believed the clowns were killers experimenting with humanity's odd fascination with Halloween and masquerade. After completing his interview notes, Edgar returned to Texas.

Two months later, poor Edgar had another dream with 'Leatherface the Gatekeeper' in it. In this dream, the chainsaw-wielding ghoul admonished Edgar for trying to 'evade' the mysticism-investigation 'omen' by re-routing his inquiries to the realm of smalltown alien abduction fantasies/folklore. Leatherface explained, "Simple-hearted human beings choose to make all kinds of trauma or surprise forms of 'mysticism and magic.' The belief in intelligences from another world may be scientific and therefore even political but in fact they also serve as totems of creative storytelling (and mystical 'fears'). Therefore, you may continue your 'alien compatibility' inquiries, but do not inquire about the 'magic of alienation' or the 'magic of Halloween'!"

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