Mr. P
VIP Member
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting
to my friends, but it is so difficult in today's
world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my lawyer today and 45 minutes
later and $399 in lawyer's fees and following his advice,
I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit
my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible low stress non addictive gender
neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion or secular practices of your
choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2005 but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other
country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere)
and without regard to the race creed color age physical
ability religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It
is freely transferable with no alteration to the original
greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and
is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent
holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited
to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this
message however, a significant number of electrons were
slightly inconvenienced.
to my friends, but it is so difficult in today's
world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my lawyer today and 45 minutes
later and $399 in lawyer's fees and following his advice,
I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit
my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible low stress non addictive gender
neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion or secular practices of your
choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2005 but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other
country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere)
and without regard to the race creed color age physical
ability religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It
is freely transferable with no alteration to the original
greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and
is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent
holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited
to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this
message however, a significant number of electrons were
slightly inconvenienced.
and right back at ya.
