Have you been Married?... Divorced?... What's your History?

[JakeStarkey]

Never been married, never will unless my religion's type of marriage is included by the law, and even then probably not until I am much older.

Which Religion is that?...



peace...

Ra ... I am a priestess of Bastet. Ancient Egypt was the last time my religion was popular, but meh, I love the belief system and those beliefs followed my own personal ones when I had matured to an adult so much that I just had to learn the rest of it, which was hard because I had to learn to read the ancient language to understand it better, but meh.

One of the little ones in my family once described 'you' (someone we knew), "She's a cat person!" I know very little about your belief system, but the three or four whom I have known were nice people.

I am editing now that I actually used wikipedia to look up Bast. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastet_(mythology). So from Bast to Bast-et, from solar and war goddess to lion goddess to cat deity, is that right? Continuing good fortune to you.

 

[mal]

Never been married, never will unless my religion's type of marriage is included by the law, and even then probably not until I am much older.

Which Religion is that?...



peace...

Ra ... I am a priestess of Bastet. Ancient Egypt was the last time my religion was popular, but meh, I love the belief system and those beliefs followed my own personal ones when I had matured to an adult so much that I just had to learn the rest of it, which was hard because I had to learn to read the ancient language to understand it better, but meh.

Wow... You are the First for me... Very Interesting.



peace...

 

[mal]

I don't have strong or any opinions on other's marriages, seems to me that's between them.

As for me, I married a very intelligent, sexy geek. He made and makes lots of dollars, he's doing even better in this economy. I have three young adults, whom I love very much. We were finally divorced when my youngest was 9. It took 4 years.

Looking back, shouldn't have married him, but ah hindsight. He is a total narcissist and it caused much psycho pain for myself and the kids. He managed in 10 minutes of testimony to be ordered to undergo a psych evaluation, in the 2nd year of the divorce, which he was fighting. Funny thing, he was already 'engaged' to his now wife, while fighting the divorce and saying in open court, "Why should I have to pay for kids that aren't doing me any good?" Yep, the later was why a psych evaluation was ordered, along with a halt to his visitation.

Because of his problems, the divorce dragged on, with some amusing stories, but much more heartache for the kids than should have been allowed. As for me, my best day was when my youngest turned 18 and I no longer had to discuss anything with him. I was lucky that I had sole custody and supportive family and friends. Also excellent psychiatrist for the kids, which eventually helped to pull all of us through.

I can speak to him now, a few sentences. We got through graduations and I'm certain we'll have a wedding or two in the next few years. Funny thing, his wife has repeatedly tried to 'talk to me.' That's not happening. She even tried to 'confide' in my daughter that she thinks I might help her, regarding problems with her kids-now 5 & 8. That too is not happening. I never blamed her, it was my ex's cheating that ultimately led to the divorce, which I didn't know at the time. For me, it was the problems he had with the kids, so I've a guess that's her problem now too.

Damn... 4 Years. That couldn't have been Easy on anyone. Most I've heard of are about 6mos, but Colorado is pretty Cut and Dried on the Issue.

So how long was the Marriage... "Youngest was 9" leads me to beleive it was about 15 Years?...

When did you Start Realizing it would be the Conclusion that it was?



peace...

took my parents 6 years....dad was an attorney...mom a psychologist.....bloody hell what a war.....

Sounds like a Book should be Written... Hint, Hint!...



peace...

 

[JD_2B]

It seem that there are some Strong Opinions on Cheating on another Thread and how a Marriage should Deal with it, and it got me Thinking about some who those Opinions.

Have you ever been Married?...

Divorced?...

Never Married?...

Married to one Person and Never Divorced?

I Ask because it would be Interesting to see what some have Done in Cases like the one Echo has Provided about her Friend.

If your Spouse Cheated...

If they did and how you Dealt with it.

Other Issues like Substance Abuse, Gambling, Physical Abuse.

Some People seem to Reactively say "Leave" when they hear someone has Cheated or has Substance Issues...

Others say that the Bond of Marriage should not be Broken over Human Flaw.

What say you?



peace...

I left my first husband because he apparently had some kind of anger management problems, and seemed really bi-polar.. Some weeks were great, others, not so much.. As a result, he ended up hitting me (I was pregnant also) so I pressed charges and got divorced.

A few years later, I got hooked up to a guy who was a sociopath (and alcoholic). I had very little knowledge about how the justice system worked, and did not know I could get a restraining order based on fear alone. He told me he wanted to be a mercenary.. I broke up with him, packing his stuff, at least 3 times a week. The same night that he hit me for the first time, he also pulled a gun on me. (thankfully, my son was at the neighbor's house- and had been for about three weeks, lol- I did not like my son being home during this 10 month long hellish nightmare) I called police, and then filed for a restraining order.
Can't say I'm divorced yet.. He stalked me for some time, and I am only now feeling comfortable enough with the idea of filing for divorce..

I have found that sometimes a man can be abusive because of a pathology and sometimes it is because they have addiction problems, etc..

Now, I just avoid people (altogether- not just dating, but potential friends too) who show signs of addictions, or who may have mental problems.. And I have all these other checklists in place to ensure our safety, like doing background checks and asking a lot of questions, and making sure that if I cant go to his house within the first month (he doesnt know this) it is probably because there is a wife involved.. Just common sense stuff.

Cheating? Never had that happen. I have always had really good boundaries when it comes to sexual role playing and such (no role playing of anything that could be construed as REAL- easter bunny hides the egg, Santa and Mrs Claus, The big bad wolf and little red riding hood.. those are okay. They dont turn me on so much, but I can be open minded, lol) NO "milkman and housewife" or "post office" or even "doctor", is allowed. It just subconsciously opens too many doors to infidelity. Also, no going out to singles bars without the partner- ever. Not even a bachelor party. Only single and unattached men should be invited to bachelor parties. (Until the guy is actually engaged and having his own, at which point, I can be reasonably sure nothing will happen)...

=)

 

[KittenKoder]

Which Religion is that?...



peace...

Ra ... I am a priestess of Bastet. Ancient Egypt was the last time my religion was popular, but meh, I love the belief system and those beliefs followed my own personal ones when I had matured to an adult so much that I just had to learn the rest of it, which was hard because I had to learn to read the ancient language to understand it better, but meh.

Wow... You are the First for me... Very Interesting.



peace...

When I first started posting here I liked watching people guess my religion, that was fun since no one was close. There are very few people who follow the old ways of Egypt, even in Egypt. The best views are on the after life and science. As strange as the rituals and rights of death seem to others, they make perfect sense in a strange way. As for marriage, the contract was nothing more than a business arrangement to organize household responsibilities, and it worked well. But meh, as I said, until such a time as my religious beliefs on marriage are accepted I will never even consider it.

 

[manu1959]

Damn... 4 Years. That couldn't have been Easy on anyone. Most I've heard of are about 6mos, but Colorado is pretty Cut and Dried on the Issue.

So how long was the Marriage... "Youngest was 9" leads me to beleive it was about 15 Years?...

When did you Start Realizing it would be the Conclusion that it was?



peace...

took my parents 6 years....dad was an attorney...mom a psychologist.....bloody hell what a war.....

Sounds like a Book should be Written... Hint, Hint!...



peace...

dude....the two of them were nothing compared to my aunt uncle and my mom's parents.....

you know your family is fucked up when your grandfater puts a gun in his mouth and you overhear someone at the wake say ..... the only mistake he made was not shooting her first......

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

 

[manu1959]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

good luck to you......marry your best friend.....

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

good luck to you......marry your best friend.....

Thank you. I agree 100% with that sentiment Manu.

 

[mal]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

It is a Blessing to have a Partner in Life... Even more, to have Children with that Person.

We have (2) and will be having at least (1) More if not (2).

You have a Lucky Lady in Mind, BGG?...



peace...

 

[mal]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

good luck to you......marry your best friend.....

Amen...



peace...

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

It is a Blessing to have a Partner in Life... Even more, to have Children with that Person.

We have (2) and will be having at least (1) More if not (2).

You have a Lucky Lady in Mind, BGG?...



peace...

No, I am not dating anyone at the moment.

 

[mal]

I have never been married. Hopefully, it will happen.

It is a Blessing to have a Partner in Life... Even more, to have Children with that Person.

We have (2) and will be having at least (1) More if not (2).

You have a Lucky Lady in Mind, BGG?...



peace...

No, I am not dating anyone at the moment.

After as many Years as it's been, I can't Imagine what that Life is Like...

Now with Kids, it doesn't even Seem like it ever was...

Seems like we've always had Kids and it's always been this way...



peace...

 

[Cecilie1200]

For the record, my parents were married for forty-some-odd years, only marriage for both of them, and they would still be married had my father not passed away. I am on my only marriage, fifteen years next February, and we have three children, ages 20, 14, and 9 months (yeah, I know).

While I do not think that cheating should automatically result in dissolution of the marriage, I do think it is a completely valid and understandable response, and it depends on what the cheated-on partner's priorities and concerns are. If he/she chooses to remain and work things out, for whatever reason, then I applaud them for their courage and determination. If not, then I sympathize totally.

Physical or emotional abuse, either of the spouse or of the children, should be cause to immediately walk out the door, and not even contemplate coming back until the abuser gets some serious therapy and demonstrates change. Sexual abuse of either, but especially the children should be cause for justifiable homicide.

 

[G.T.]

I would leave auto-matic and never see her face or anyone's face that reminds me of her again. Perhaps I'd convince a friend or two to re-locate and totally change states. I'd also hurt the man really bad if he knew she was married; I would hurt him even worse if he knew me, and so perhaps I'd be stuck home for a bit dealing with legal issues before I left.

If you can't trust a person to be monogamous, there's no point in Marriage in the 1st place.

 

[JW Frogen]

I have been married twice.

Once to a Puerto Rican, hot iron throwing, sex bomb.

Now to an Aussie cold shower inducing winge bomb.

Who is next, who is next?

 

[chanel]

First husband and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary yesterday. Second husband who knows? Lol

 

[Mr. H.]

I carried a tremendous amount of guilt after divorce from #1. Then I chanced upon a newspaper article titled "The 7 signs of emotional abuse". I thought my god that's exactly what I put up with for 13 years. I felt vindicated.

 

[mal]

I carried a tremendous amount of guilt after divorce from #1. Then I chanced upon a newspaper article titled "The 7 signs of emotional abuse". I thought my god that's exactly what I put up with for 13 years. I felt vindicated.

What were the Grounds for Divorce, if you don't Mind me Asking?...



peace...

 

[Mr. H.]

I carried a tremendous amount of guilt after divorce from #1. Then I chanced upon a newspaper article titled "The 7 signs of emotional abuse". I thought my god that's exactly what I put up with for 13 years. I felt vindicated.

What were the Grounds for Divorce, if you don't Mind me Asking?...



peace...

Yeah well.... I did the Stray Cat Strut for two years. We tried to reconcile, and at one point I was resolved to straighten up. I then realized the best I could hope for was to get the marriage back to where it was- a disaster. To know my ex was to know her dad- an overbearing verbally and emotionally (sometimes physically) abusive nut job. Nah, it was a blessing in disguise. I was heartbroken for the kids, but leaving that marriage saved my life. I was on the fast track to a stroke or heart attack. I know two wrongs don't make it right but that chick was beyond mean- from day one.