What Is A Marriage Worth?

[Lockback]

You really are a douche bag.

Wow. That's a complete understatement. Jesus.

 

[Lockback]

I've been divorced. Twice, in fact.
I suspect some of your pain may emanate from the feeling that she fooled you.
That's how I felt after 12 years with my first wife when she returned from a business trip and announced she wanted a divorce. Out of nowhere. I never saw it coming. We went thru over 2 years of counselling but it didn't take with her. She wanted out. And in the long run I felt betrayed because I thought I knew her and didn't. She fooled me for years.
I made the typical mistake of getting sucked into another relationship far too soon: marriage Number Two.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. It lasted six year, although from about 6 weeks in I realized I'd made a mistake and dialed back and we basically lived those 6 years with separate lives under the same roof.
My current wife and I have been together 19 years now. She was a friend and it's worked out pretty doggone well. Oh, we have our differences of course - men and women are just plain different in case you hadn't noticed - but overall we get along just fine.
Don't kick yourself for misreading your ex-wife. It happens. Sometimes people change. My first wife did in a radical way I never could have foreseen. People are weird that way; unpredictable and just plain weird. Go figure, man.
Good luck to you!

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I got divorced after 14 years of marriage. Never remarried. Came close a time or two but always ran. It's much easier to fill out a change of address card

 

[WelfareQueen]

Met my future Wife in 1977 at 16.
Been married to date.

One Daughter, now 32, career professional owning 2 houses, one in Vegas, rented, one in SA, Owned.
2 Grandboys, 3rd on the way.

Son, sorry my son, passed from cancer at age 11.
I miss you buddy, meet you in Heaven.


Sure, I missed out on all the ******* around you claim to have, but didn't I do the Christian Thing?
I'm very proud of my loyalty, versus the trump loyalty. LLOLLLLL. So easy to beat.
Many families absolutely FALL APART after the death of a child, but NOT us, we have Family Values.

View attachment 1177810

Are you this sanctimonious with your wife? Poor woman. Those who profess Christian values and then attempt to throw them in your face often have the most to hide. Your posts in this thread are by far the most unchristian, but that is not a surprise.

And I don't **** around, never have.

 

[Lockback]

I got divorced after 14 years of marriage. Never remarried. Came close a time or two but always ran. It's much easier to fill out a change of address card

That's not a bad option.

 

[WelfareQueen]

I've been divorced. Twice, in fact.
I suspect some of your pain may emanate from the feeling that she fooled you.
That's how I felt after 12 years with my first wife when she returned from a business trip and announced she wanted a divorce. Out of nowhere. I never saw it coming. We went thru over 2 years of counselling but it didn't take with her. She wanted out. And in the long run I felt betrayed because I thought I knew her and didn't. She fooled me for years.
I made the typical mistake of getting sucked into another relationship far too soon: marriage Number Two.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. It lasted six year, although from about 6 weeks in I realized I'd made a mistake and dialed back and we basically lived those 6 years with separate lives under the same roof.
My current wife and I have been together 19 years now. She was a friend and it's worked out pretty doggone well. Oh, we have our differences of course - men and women are just plain different in case you hadn't noticed - but overall we get along just fine.
Don't kick yourself for misreading your ex-wife. It happens. Sometimes people change. My first wife did in a radical way I never could have foreseen. People are weird that way; unpredictable and just plain weird. Go figure, man.
Good luck to you!

My first wife changed dramatically. Her father was bi-polar, and there was a lot of mental illness in her family. And gradually, she became more depressed and withdrawn. As a result, I started pulling away as well. It was a vicious cycle.

She asked for the divorce, and it came completely out of the blue. It was devastating. But in hindsight it needed to happen. Those who get sanctimonious that have never been divorced, you are lucky. Many who get divorced are absolutely blindsided. I never thought I would be divorced and I never wanted it. In the end, she did me a favor.

 

[Rawley]

Some people are married and some people are single. We all have had good times and we have had bad times. We are all alive. We survive. Is survival the goal of existence? Is it living as long as possible what we strive for? Is it a failure then when we die?

I am in the process of a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It feels like a failure but some say that I ought to think of it as a success and that 20 years is “a good run”. They’re probably right. What would I have done those 20 years if I were not married to her? Been married to someone else? Been single? My wife turned out to be a really shit person but I wasn’t fully aware of it the whole 20 years. Perhaps it’s the knowing of it that’s the problem. If I didn’t find out I suppose I’d have gone to my grave feeling good. Maybe we expect too much of relationships and we are unwilling to “roll with the punches” and take it as it comes. Many years ago a friend of mine use to say, “I had a silver dollar once but I spent it”. In other words, “So what?” I think it’s time for me to “roll with the punch”. Those of you who are divorced, what do you think?

Sorry to hear that.

 

[GLASNOST]

..... I have nothing to advise the OP. He seems to be young enough to start a new life .....

You may think nearing 80 is "young". I don't.

 

[hadit]

Family Values.
Do (R) preach it, but don't follow it.

Such as:

1). Divorce....you are living proof of TDS. Preach Values.... Never Live by such Values.View attachment 1177807

One trick pony does his trick. The crowd goes mild.

 

[GLASNOST]

Sometimes people change.

Yes, they do.

 

[Lockback]

My first wife changed dramatically. Her father was bi-polar, and there was a lot of mental illness in her family. And gradually, she became more depressed and withdrawn. As a result, I started pulling away as well. It was a vicious cycle.

Sounds a little like my second wife. I think her father was nuts but he was long gone by the time I met her. She had this incredible propensity for starting a fight out of nowhere ... not only with me but with neighbors and even good friends. She had a need to be aggressive and confrontational that was beyond bizarre. When she was in a good mood, she was one of the sweetest people ever. But, man, she could switch on a dime. That got real old real fast.

 

[Captain Creeper]

Divorce was the happiest day of my life. It was 20 years ago, on November 6th (when the final decree was signed). I do not celebrate the day. But on or near that day, when it occurs to me that it is "THAT DAY", I smile ever so slightly.

As stupid as it sounds, it will get better for you with time. I promise you that.

 

[GLASNOST]

Sounds a little like my second wife. I think her father was nuts but he was long gone by the time I met her. She had this incredible propensity for starting a fight out of nowhere ... not only with me but with neighbors and even good friends. She had a need to be aggressive and confrontational that was beyond bizarre. When she was in a good mood, she was one of the sweetest people ever. But, man, she could switch on a dime. That got real old real fast.

I've met several of those. They never ask for clarification ..... they just go straight in for the attack. And even if you do get a chance to explain they say, "I know what you really meant!"

 

[Calypso Jones]

Some people are married and some people are single. We all have had good times and we have had bad times. We are all alive. We survive. Is survival the goal of existence? Is it living as long as possible what we strive for? Is it a failure then when we die?

I am in the process of a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It feels like a failure but some say that I ought to think of it as a success and that 20 years is “a good run”. They’re probably right. What would I have done those 20 years if I were not married to her? Been married to someone else? Been single? My wife turned out to be a really shit person but I wasn’t fully aware of it the whole 20 years. Perhaps it’s the knowing of it that’s the problem. If I didn’t find out I suppose I’d have gone to my grave feeling good. Maybe we expect too much of relationships and we are unwilling to “roll with the punches” and take it as it comes. Many years ago a friend of mine use to say, “I had a silver dollar once but I spent it”. In other words, “So what?” I think it’s time for me to “roll with the punch”. Those of you who are divorced, what do you think?

what was it about your wife that made her a sh*t person??

 

[GLASNOST]

what was it about your wife that made her a sh*t person??

I don't want to talk about it.

 

[Lockback]

I've met several of those. They never ask for clarification ..... they just go straight in for the attack. And even if you do get a chance to explain they say, "I know what you really meant!"

It was not a fun trip, I'll tell you. Six years was six years too many but I wanted to give it my best, until I got worn out. Which really didn't take very long but by that time I was too emotionally worn out to move. When I asked her for the divorce, she glared at me and said, "What took you so long?"
I couldn't win with her.

 

[GLASNOST]

It was not a fun trip, I'll tell you.

I'm sure about that.

Six years was six years too many but I wanted to give it my best, until I got worn out.

I understand you perfectly. For me it was 20 years.

Which really didn't take very long but by that time I was too emotionally worn out to move.

I know exactly what you mean.

.......
I couldn't win with her.

That's how they do it. Me? I just stopped talking to her. Let her suffer from her own imagination and fantasy because if you speak they just turn it around to mean something else. I found the best way to reply at all is just to say, "You know why" and stick to that. It doesn't even have to have to do with any subject at hand. Just say, "You know why". That's all.

 

[MarathonMike]

Those who get sanctimonious that have never been divorced, you are lucky.

Very true. My wife and I have been married 31 years and I fully agree that luck is a big part of that. I found out how different she was than me early on but we had enough in common that we made it work. I've never done a count but I know at least half of our friends are divorced at least once for a variety of reasons. We never get on our high horse about staying married because we could easily have been divorced during the first few years.

 

[WelfareQueen]

Very true. My wife and I have been married 31 years and I fully agree that luck is a big part of that. I found out how different she was than me early on but we had enough in common that we made it work. I've never done a count but I know at least half of our friends are divorced at least once for a variety of reasons. We never get on our high horse about staying married because we could easily have been divorced during the first few years.

I am glad it has worked out for you both. No one outside of a marriage really knows what happens on the inside. I have learned not to judge.

For those who have found a way to last, much respect.

 

[bambu.]

Some people are married and some people are single. We all have had good times and we have had bad times. We are all alive. We survive. Is survival the goal of existence? Is it living as long as possible what we strive for? Is it a failure then when we die?

I am in the process of a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It feels like a failure but some say that I ought to think of it as a success and that 20 years is “a good run”. They’re probably right. What would I have done those 20 years if I were not married to her? Been married to someone else? Been single? My wife turned out to be a really shit person but I wasn’t fully aware of it the whole 20 years. Perhaps it’s the knowing of it that’s the problem. If I didn’t find out I suppose I’d have gone to my grave feeling good. Maybe we expect too much of relationships and we are unwilling to “roll with the punches” and take it as it comes. Many years ago a friend of mine use to say, “I had a silver dollar once but I spent it”. In other words, “So what?” I think it’s time for me to “roll with the punch”. Those of you who are divorced, what do you think?

Hopefully you'll come out of it with a roof over your head, a car, and with enough money to be able to live comfortably....not be destitute.
If the end of the marriage is not your fault, then you have nothing to regret and feel a failure about.



Net n Yahoo is a saint when compared with Hitler.