What Is A Marriage Worth?

[GLASNOST]

Hopefully you'll come out of it with a roof over your head

still have it, she had to find another place to live.

a car

no more car or licence do to an ailment. don't need it anyway.

and with enough money to be able to live comfortably....not be destitute.

no problem.

If the end of the marriage is not your fault, then you have nothing to regret and feel a failure about.

i think you're right.

 

[Woodznutz]

Some people are married and some people are single. We all have had good times and we have had bad times. We are all alive. We survive. Is survival the goal of existence? Is it living as long as possible what we strive for? Is it a failure then when we die?

I am in the process of a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It feels like a failure but some say that I ought to think of it as a success and that 20 years is “a good run”. They’re probably right. What would I have done those 20 years if I were not married to her? Been married to someone else? Been single? My wife turned out to be a really shit person but I wasn’t fully aware of it the whole 20 years. Perhaps it’s the knowing of it that’s the problem. If I didn’t find out I suppose I’d have gone to my grave feeling good. Maybe we expect too much of relationships and we are unwilling to “roll with the punches” and take it as it comes. Many years ago a friend of mine use to say, “I had a silver dollar once but I spent it”. In other words, “So what?” I think it’s time for me to “roll with the punch”. Those of you who are divorced, what do you think?

Sorry to hear that.

My wife divorced me after four years of marriage during which I thrived and she didn't. I controlled everything, she controlled nothing. She was right to seek a divorce, for the sake of her own needs. Sadly, she never fulfilled them, developed a bad drinking problem that eventually helped end her life. While she was with me she was 'safe' but unhappy. Apart she was neither. I didn't remarry and have lived a happy and prosperous life since our divorce. Sadly, her death has had a bad effect on our kids. I think my son places some blame on me. It has affected him more than it has my daughter. He is now divorced and struggled with bitterness towards his ex. They're friendly now but he deems his marriage to her a waste of ten years of his life.

 

[MarathonMike]

Sorry to hear that.

My wife divorced me after four years of marriage during which I thrived and she didn't. I controlled everything, she controlled nothing. She was right to seek a divorce, for the sake of her own needs. Sadly, she never fulfilled them, developed a bad drinking problem that eventually helped end her life. While she was with me she was 'safe' but unhappy. Apart she was neither. So sad for the kids. I didn't remarry and have lived a happy and prosperous life since our divorce.

The longer I live and the more marriage/divorce stories I hear I can conclude only one thing. Everyone should be REALLY CAREFUL and take a LONG TIME living together before getting married.

 

[GLASNOST]

The longer I live and the more marriage/divorce stories I hear I can conclude only one thing. Everyone should be REALLY CAREFUL and take a LONG TIME living together before getting married.

I can understand that but ...... the longer you wait the older you get and the older you get the more your priorities change. My advice is to try not to "fall in love" with anyone. I know that's a terrible thing to say but that way you are able to pick yourself up again after a bad experience.

 

[MarathonMike]

I can understand that but ...... the longer you wait the older you get and the older you get the more your priorities change. My advice is to try not to "fall in love" with anyone. I know that's a terrible thing to say but that way you are able to pick yourself up again after a bad experience.

I understand your perspective as well. There is no one size fits all when it comes to marriage. It's never easy, and when a marriage goes bad it can go REALLY BAD for divorcees and the kids.

And yes, I know some people who have had happy lives being single.

 

[Woodznutz]

I can understand that but ...... the longer you wait the older you get and the older you get the more your priorities change. My advice is to try not to "fall in love" with anyone. I know that's a terrible thing to say but that way you are able to pick yourself up again after a bad experience.

True. Marriage isn't for love-struck kids. It's a serious relationship between a man and woman, and is intended to build a stable family, community, and nation.

 

[initforme]

There is life after divorce.... don't do anything big for a year or two...

That is great advice.

 

[initforme]

For men who have the means to do it, serial monogamy is the preferred lifestyle. But don't leave destruction in your wake; separate amicably and fairly. For Democrats (who don't actually believe in marriage) to criticize Trump's marital lifestyle is just another manifestation of TDS.

Nothing in the Bible demands that GOVERNMENTS feed the poor, house the homeless, care for the sick, etc. It is only moral phonies who vote for socialist candidates and believe that they are being "charitable" by demanding that these worthy tasks be done with OPM.

Nothing in the Bible even suggests that sovereign nations have an obligation to admit outsiders who reject their core values (NOTE: Democrats have no core values), hate their customs, and intend to live in their own bubbles with similarly displaced people. Rejecting them is appropriate. Getting rid of the trouble-makers is an imperative. Diversity is NOT a strength; unity is a strength.

Married 52+ years, I have nothing to advise the OP. He seems to be young enough to start a new life, which is all one can ask for. It's better for a man than a woman; that much is clear.

Jesus was all about helping the poor and least among us. As an american born citizen i pick and choose whatever customs i want. Does that bother you?