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Friends, enemies and strangers.

Sky Dancer

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Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?


http://www.untaming.com/Archive3.html

I spent about a month one time contemplating this topic. It's pretty illuminating.
 
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Sky Dancer

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How it works is you spend a lot of time contemplating why you label, this or that person, friend, an enemy or a stranger. For me, an enemy is someone who doesn't me to be happy.
 

syrenn

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How it works is you spend a lot of time contemplating why you label, this or that person, friend, an enemy or a stranger. For me, an enemy is someone who doesn't me to be happy.


I will assume that this is the thread you directed me to are talking about sky.


So you are asking me how i label people... with me....people earn their labels as far as i am concerned.


My first post on this forum.

http://www.usmessageboard.com/introduce-yourself/116682-and-they-thought-they-knew-me.html
 
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Sky Dancer

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Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.
 

manifold

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Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

That would make them all friends.

Not really sure that's possible.
 

syrenn

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Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.


Do i not except you for who and what you are?
Have i ever told you to fuck off or fuck you?
Did i or did i not respect your limits on what can and cant be said in regards to shoving bullshit up your ass?
Have i sent you mean spirited neg reps?
:eusa_whistle:

If you think friend are only their to support your goals, ideas and whims... and do not challenge you on anything.... you need some better friends who are real friends and are not yes men.

True friends will kick your ass when you are being an idiot or think you are getting yourself into trouble. Good or bad they will voice their opinion...regardless if you like it or not.

Friends do not always have to agree. Friends do not always have to like each other. Friends are the ones who will show up when you are on your last leg and help you up. Friends are the ones who know every evil thing about you and still like you. Friends are the ones who like you in spite what others think of you.

A friend sees you truly...and honestly. Good and bad, without exaggeration either way.



how is that for a start?
 

catzmeow

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Sky sees the world in black/white terms. You either agree with her at all times, and in all ways, or you are an enemy. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.
 

G.T.

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Sky,

I think the premise is flawed. We don't always do what your opening sentence says we do to begin with.
 
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Sky Dancer

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Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.


Do i not except you for who and what you are?
Have i ever told you to fuck off or fuck you?
Did i or did i not respect your limits on what can and cant be said in regards to shoving bullshit up your ass?
Have i sent you mean spirited neg reps?
:eusa_whistle:

If you think friend are only their to support your goals, ideas and whims... and do not challenge you on anything.... you need some better friends who are real friends and are not yes men.

True friends will kick your ass when you are being an idiot or think you are getting yourself into trouble. Good or bad they will voice their opinion...regardless if you like it or not.

Friends do not always have to agree. Friends do not always have to like each other. Friends are the ones who will show up when you are on your last leg and help you up. Friends are the ones who know every evil thing about you and still like you. Friends are the ones who like you in spite what others think of you.

A friend sees you truly...and honestly. Good and bad, without exaggeration either way.



how is that for a start?

We are acquaintences, not friends. Friendly acquaintences, but not really friends. We don't know each other well enough to be friends.
 
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Sky Dancer

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Sky,

I think the premise is flawed. We don't always do what your opening sentence says we do to begin with.

G.T.

IMO, the premise isn't flawed. Most of the time, due to attachment and aversion we either exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends and minimize their negative flaws while we do the opposite to our enemies.

Consider a common US enemy according to many people. Muslims. People who hate Muslims exaggerate their negative qualities and ignore or mimimize their positive ones.
 

catzmeow

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We are acquaintences, not friends. We don't know each other well enough to be friends.

Why wasn't this category included in your OP? I thought there were only friends, enemies and strangers. Now, you're saying there are more categories of people, simply because you want to take a backhanded slap at Syrenn?
 

G.T.

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Sky,

I think the premise is flawed. We don't always do what your opening sentence says we do to begin with.

G.T.

IMO, the premise isn't flawed. Most of the time, due to attachment and aversion we either exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends and minimize their negative flaws while we do the opposite to our enemies.

Consider a common US enemy according to many people. Muslims. People who hate Muslims exaggerate their negative qualities and ignore or mimimize their positive ones.

I will agree to disagree.
 
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Sky Dancer

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Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

That would make them all friends.

Not really sure that's possible.

That's how the Dalai Lama saw Chairman Mao. He actually wept when Mao died. He wept out of compassion for Mao, because Mao had created so much negative karma. When His Holiness comes into a room of strangers, he smiles. He considers them all friends.

It is possible to view even an enemy in a friendly and kind way. Some people I consider enemies have qualities, they don't show them to me, but they do to people they love. They do so, because that is the nature of attachment and aversion. Both are exaggerated states and come out of ego.
 
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Sky Dancer

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Sky,

I think the premise is flawed. We don't always do what your opening sentence says we do to begin with.

G.T.

IMO, the premise isn't flawed. Most of the time, due to attachment and aversion we either exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends and minimize their negative flaws while we do the opposite to our enemies.

Consider a common US enemy according to many people. Muslims. People who hate Muslims exaggerate their negative qualities and ignore or mimimize their positive ones.

I will agree to disagree.

Most of us do exactly that. We don't see each other clearly, we see each other through eyes of attachment and aversion. Continuously exaggerating qualites positive and negative.
 

G.T.

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G.T.

IMO, the premise isn't flawed. Most of the time, due to attachment and aversion we either exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends and minimize their negative flaws while we do the opposite to our enemies.

Consider a common US enemy according to many people. Muslims. People who hate Muslims exaggerate their negative qualities and ignore or mimimize their positive ones.

I will agree to disagree.

Most of us do exactly that. We don't see each other clearly, we see each other through eyes of attachment and aversion. Continuously exaggerating qualites positive and negative.

You can speak for what you feel most do, but you cannot speak for me, which is why I'll just bow out of the conversation gracefully. I'm so graceful in my bowing that even if I accidentally shitted during the bow people who saw it with their bare eyes would never be convinced that something so beautiful and amazing had just shat.
 

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