Friends, enemies and strangers.

[Sky Dancer]

Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?


Friend, Stranger or Enemy by David W. Edgerly, Ph.D.

I spent about a month one time contemplating this topic. It's pretty illuminating.

A "friend" is a person who is on good terms, an "enemy" is someone who is not. The degrees vary. A stranger is simply an irrelevant unknown, unless rendered relevant one way or another.

You understand what I'm saying perfectly. Perhaps, you can help some of the others who are lost.

 

[Intense]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

It's not profiling. It's a way to work with attachment, aversion and ignorance.

Confession is good. That's where the healing begins. Go for it Girl.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

friends and enemy's of Charlotta. There is a list you know

Never heard of it.

 

[syrenn]

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

Further on the topic, you also can't say that enemy means the same to all, either.

For instance, if I consider someone an enemy, it's because they've probably done something so beyond the pale of being a good person that they wouldn't DESERVE equal regard with those whom I'd consider a friend, unless they made amends with me regarding what they've done.

Enemy is normally used by most people in an extreme way. In Buddhism we only use it to indicate anyone who is not a friend nor a stranger who opposes us in some way. Its a broad general category for mind training.

How fucked up is that buddhist shit??

Anyone who does not fit into the box of friend, or stranger and who does not... ... agree with you..... is an enemy?

 

[Sky Dancer]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

It's not profiling. It's a way to work with attachment, aversion and ignorance.

Confession is good. That's where the healing begins. Go for it Girl.

You don't get it. That's ok. Lokiate does. Talk to him.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Further on the topic, you also can't say that enemy means the same to all, either.

For instance, if I consider someone an enemy, it's because they've probably done something so beyond the pale of being a good person that they wouldn't DESERVE equal regard with those whom I'd consider a friend, unless they made amends with me regarding what they've done.

Enemy is normally used by most people in an extreme way. In Buddhism we only use it to indicate anyone who is not a friend nor a stranger who opposes us in some way. Its a broad general category for mind training.

How fucked up is that buddhist shit??

Anyone who does not fit into the box of friend, or stranger and who does not... ... agree with you..... is an enemy?

Only when you don't understand it, which you obviously do not.

 

[syrenn]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

friends and enemy's of Charlotta. There is a list you know

Never heard of it.

look it up... google is your friend.

 

[syrenn]

Enemy is normally used by most people in an extreme way. In Buddhism we only use it to indicate anyone who is not a friend nor a stranger who opposes us in some way. Its a broad general category for mind training.

How fucked up is that buddhist shit??

Anyone who does not fit into the box of friend, or stranger and who does not... ... agree with you..... is an enemy?

Only when you don't understand it, which you obviously do not.

oh i understand it quite well...

And its fucked up shit.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Do i not except you for who and what you are?
Have i ever told you to fuck off or fuck you?
Did i or did i not respect your limits on what can and cant be said in regards to shoving bullshit up your ass?
Have i sent you mean spirited neg reps?


If you think friend are only their to support your goals, ideas and whims... and do not challenge you on anything.... you need some better friends who are real friends and are not yes men.

True friends will kick your ass when you are being an idiot or think you are getting yourself into trouble. Good or bad they will voice their opinion...regardless if you like it or not.

Friends do not always have to agree. Friends do not always have to like each other. Friends are the ones who will show up when you are on your last leg and help you up. Friends are the ones who know every evil thing about you and still like you. Friends are the ones who like you in spite what others think of you.

A friend sees you truly...and honestly. Good and bad, without exaggeration either way.



how is that for a start?

We are acquaintences, not friends. Friendly acquaintences, but not really friends. We don't know each other well enough to be friends.

So where do you start?

Friendly acquaintances was not one of your three choices. There is no check box for friendly acquaintance as far as i know on any site i have ever been on. There are no grades of friends. You like someone or you don't. You are friends with someone or you are not.

However... what i said above also goes for "friendly acquaintances". There is always a starting point and you make the best of it. "Yes men" are not your friends no matter what you think, whether that is real life or here on line. If you cant be friends with someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time you are rather shallow. If you cannot like someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time.... how do you ever expect to get along with anyone?

There are many people here who i do not agree with, that does not stop me from liking them and thinking of them as friends. Ravi and jillian are both people who have totally different takes on many things, we disagree.... .and we still like each other and think of each as friends. Do i know them in real life... no. Would i support them in PM, listen to them, help with any problem as a friend... you better believe it. That goes for many others here as well.

I do not need "real life" to be someones friend. How you view people is up to you.

I checked the friend category at your request. We are actually not friends, but acquaintences.

 

[catzmeow]

That's how the Dalai Lama saw Chairman Mao. He actually wept when Mao died. He wept out of compassion for Mao, because Mao had created so much negative karma. When His Holiness comes into a room of strangers, he smiles. He considers them all friends.

It is possible to view even an enemy in a friendly and kind way. Some people I consider enemies have qualities, they don't show them to me, but they do to people they love. They do so, because that is the nature of attachment and aversion. Both are exaggerated states and come out of ego.

You would seek to understand and empathize with Hitler, but would let your beloved pet die in agony. Your ethics are fubar'd.

 

[Sky Dancer]

How fucked up is that buddhist shit??

Anyone who does not fit into the box of friend, or stranger and who does not... ... agree with you..... is an enemy?

Only when you don't understand it, which you obviously do not.

oh i understand it quite well...

And its fucked up shit.

Just because you're annoyed with me is no reason to say Buddhism is flawed.

 

[Sky Dancer]

friends and enemy's of Charlotta. There is a list you know

Never heard of it.

look it up... google is your friend.

No thanks. I'm not interested.

 

[Intense]

Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?


Friend, Stranger or Enemy by David W. Edgerly, Ph.D.

I spent about a month one time contemplating this topic. It's pretty illuminating.

A "friend" is a person who is on good terms, an "enemy" is someone who is not. The degrees vary. A stranger is simply an irrelevant unknown, unless rendered relevant one way or another.

You understand what I'm saying perfectly. Perhaps, you can help some of the others who are lost.

Hey, a Friend is Someone, in part, that gives timely and good council, whether you get the significance or not. A Friend, in part, is Someone you can Generally count on to not Hurt You, or Kick You when You are down. You push the Right Buttons, You will find more, rather than less of them. We All unravel in different ways. Packaging People, Supposing, misjudging, miss-characterizing, compounds the problems we each face.

 

[catzmeow]

Only when you don't understand it, which you obviously do not.

oh i understand it quite well...

And its fucked up shit.

Just because you're annoyed with me is no reason to say Buddhism is flawed.

Weren't you quitting buddhism last week because you believed it to be hopelessly flawed?

 

[Ernie S.]

Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.

I'm confident that you consider me among your enemies, Sky. I wish you happiness, but I will not minimize, nor exaggerate your faults or your attributes. I will tell you what I think of you and not sugar coat the truth. I owe another human that much.

 

[Ernie S.]

Who the hell has 'enemies'? Damn, that's some pathetic shit.

Batman.

You know what Sky needs in order to be really effective at her persecution complex? An arch nemesis. Batman has an arch nemesis.

Volunteers?

 

[Intense]

Batman.

You know what Sky needs in order to be really effective at her persecution complex? An arch nemesis. Batman has an arch nemesis.

Volunteers?

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwgnDn8ez9g&feature=related]Little Big Man Chief Dan George Goes up to the mountain to - YouTube[/ame]
Little Big Man Chief Dan George Goes up to the mountain to

 

[Ernie S.]

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

Further on the topic, you also can't say that enemy means the same to all, either.

For instance, if I consider someone an enemy, it's because they've probably done something so beyond the pale of being a good person that they wouldn't DESERVE equal regard with those whom I'd consider a friend, unless they made amends with me regarding what they've done.

Enemy is normally used by most people in an extreme way. In Buddhism we only use it to indicate anyone who is not a friend nor a stranger who opposes us in some way. Its a broad general category for mind training.

I thought you had left Buddhism? And USMB? Is Buddha as disappointed?

 

[tonystewart1]

I dont have any enemies that I know of.

I hope no one considers me an enemy and if they do I hope its because I told them a truth they did not like.

I consider everyone that comes into my life as a friend until they prove themselves to be unhealthy for me then they are a non issue. I just ignore them. They dont become enemies.

 

[syrenn]

We are acquaintences, not friends. Friendly acquaintences, but not really friends. We don't know each other well enough to be friends.

So where do you start?

Friendly acquaintances was not one of your three choices. There is no check box for friendly acquaintance as far as i know on any site i have ever been on. There are no grades of friends. You like someone or you don't. You are friends with someone or you are not.

However... what i said above also goes for "friendly acquaintances". There is always a starting point and you make the best of it. "Yes men" are not your friends no matter what you think, whether that is real life or here on line. If you cant be friends with someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time you are rather shallow. If you cannot like someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time.... how do you ever expect to get along with anyone?

There are many people here who i do not agree with, that does not stop me from liking them and thinking of them as friends. Ravi and jillian are both people who have totally different takes on many things, we disagree.... .and we still like each other and think of each as friends. Do i know them in real life... no. Would i support them in PM, listen to them, help with any problem as a friend... you better believe it. That goes for many others here as well.

I do not need "real life" to be someones friend. How you view people is up to you.

I checked the friend category at your request. We are actually not friends, but acquaintences.

Lets start from the beginning and understand each other in truth. You friended me, and then unfriended everyone a week or so ago. The original request was yours. You withdrew your hand. I kept mine out.

So what are we... enemy acquaintances since we are not friends? I was not aware of a third category in the bhuddist triad of friends, enemy's or strangers.


I tell ya sky... this is such high school stuff its crazy.