Friends, enemies and strangers.

[FuelRod]

Who the hell has 'enemies'? Damn, that's some pathetic shit.

Batman.

You know what Sky needs in order to be really effective at her persecution complex? An arch nemesis. Batman has an arch nemesis.

Sky needs her own crptonite.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I will agree to disagree.

Most of us do exactly that. We don't see each other clearly, we see each other through eyes of attachment and aversion. Continuously exaggerating qualites positive and negative.

You can speak for what you feel most do, but you cannot speak for me, which is why I'll just bow out of the conversation gracefully. I'm so graceful in my bowing that even if I accidentally shitted during the bow people who saw it with their bare eyes would never be convinced that something so beautiful and amazing had just shat.

You speak for yourself just fine. Are you saying you're identical to the Dalai Lama? More power to you.

I think it's more likely you don't understand this contemplation.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Batman.

You know what Sky needs in order to be really effective at her persecution complex? An arch nemesis. Batman has an arch nemesis.

Sky needs her own crptonite.

I'm more than powerful enough to stand up for my rights and articulate my concerns. No kryptonite is needed. I do like the image of an avenging angel though, with light saber and shield in hand.

The point of the thread, is not that we don't all have friends and enemies, but that we learn how to have an equal, kind, regard for all categories of people, those we know well and love, those who oppose and wish us harm, and those we don't know who hold us in neither kind nor negative regard.

 

[G.T.]

Most of us do exactly that. We don't see each other clearly, we see each other through eyes of attachment and aversion. Continuously exaggerating qualites positive and negative.

You can speak for what you feel most do, but you cannot speak for me, which is why I'll just bow out of the conversation gracefully. I'm so graceful in my bowing that even if I accidentally shitted during the bow people who saw it with their bare eyes would never be convinced that something so beautiful and amazing had just shat.

You speak for yourself just fine. Are you saying you're identical to the Dalai Lama? More power to you.

I think it's more likely you don't understand this contemplation.

No, what I'm saying is that I do not look past the positive traits of my enemies nor ignore the negative traits of my friends, personally. I can only speak for myself.

And the reason that it's a faulty premise is because we *are* indeed all individuals who think and view things in unique ways.

It's counterintuitive to "not" stereotype, which is why I don't blame you, but people are all special in their own way. Once you can have empathy for your enemies they don't usually stay enemies for too long, at all. That's sort of the point, innit.

 

[Sky Dancer]

You can speak for what you feel most do, but you cannot speak for me, which is why I'll just bow out of the conversation gracefully. I'm so graceful in my bowing that even if I accidentally shitted during the bow people who saw it with their bare eyes would never be convinced that something so beautiful and amazing had just shat.

You speak for yourself just fine. Are you saying you're identical to the Dalai Lama? More power to you.

I think it's more likely you don't understand this contemplation.

No, what I'm saying is that I do not look past the positive traits of my enemies nor ignore the negative traits of my friends, personally. I can only speak for myself.

And the reason that it's a faulty premise is because we *are* indeed all individuals who think and view things in unique ways.

It's counterintuitive to "not" stereotype, which is why I don't blame you, but people are all special in their own way. Once you can have empathy for your enemies they don't usually stay enemies for too long, at all. That's sort of the point, innit.

Even Hitler was kind to his dog, and had buddha nature. Some people who post here, I do feel are in "enemy" category. That doesn't mean I cannot wish them happiness or recognize that they have the capacity to be kind when they choose it. They place themselves in the "enemy" category.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Another example of enemies: conservatives and liberals on this forum. Each hating the other and putting them down.

 

[amrchaos]

I have a few enemies and alot of strangers in my life.

Friend---Is that a person you can trust? I have a hard time trusting people, including my own family.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I have a few enemies and alot of strangers in my life.

Friend---Is that a person you can trust? I have a hard time trusting people, including my own family.

Yes, I would say a friend is someone you can trust. I don't trust many on this messageboard, but I trust many people in RL.

There are some people here who are automatically trustworthy. I can't explain it.

 

[G.T.]

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

Further on the topic, you also can't say that enemy means the same to all, either.

For instance, if I consider someone an enemy, it's because they've probably done something so beyond the pale of being a good person that they wouldn't DESERVE equal regard with those whom I'd consider a friend, unless they made amends with me regarding what they've done.

 

[FuelRod]

I don't want to wipe out everyone Tom, just my enemies.
-Michael Coreleone, Godfather part 2

 

[Liability]

Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?


Friend, Stranger or Enemy by David W. Edgerly, Ph.D.

I spent about a month one time contemplating this topic. It's pretty illuminating.

I am not convinced that it makes all that much sense (at least most of the time) to SEEK to develop an equal and kind regard for a true enemy.

 

[syrenn]

Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.

Do i not except you for who and what you are?
Have i ever told you to fuck off or fuck you?
Did i or did i not respect your limits on what can and cant be said in regards to shoving bullshit up your ass?
Have i sent you mean spirited neg reps?


If you think friend are only their to support your goals, ideas and whims... and do not challenge you on anything.... you need some better friends who are real friends and are not yes men.

True friends will kick your ass when you are being an idiot or think you are getting yourself into trouble. Good or bad they will voice their opinion...regardless if you like it or not.

Friends do not always have to agree. Friends do not always have to like each other. Friends are the ones who will show up when you are on your last leg and help you up. Friends are the ones who know every evil thing about you and still like you. Friends are the ones who like you in spite what others think of you.

A friend sees you truly...and honestly. Good and bad, without exaggeration either way.



how is that for a start?

We are acquaintences, not friends. Friendly acquaintences, but not really friends. We don't know each other well enough to be friends.

So where do you start?

Friendly acquaintances was not one of your three choices. There is no check box for friendly acquaintance as far as i know on any site i have ever been on. There are no grades of friends. You like someone or you don't. You are friends with someone or you are not.

However... what i said above also goes for "friendly acquaintances". There is always a starting point and you make the best of it. "Yes men" are not your friends no matter what you think, whether that is real life or here on line. If you cant be friends with someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time you are rather shallow. If you cannot like someone who does not agree with you 100% of the time.... how do you ever expect to get along with anyone?

There are many people here who i do not agree with, that does not stop me from liking them and thinking of them as friends. Ravi and jillian are both people who have totally different takes on many things, we disagree.... .and we still like each other and think of each as friends. Do i know them in real life... no. Would i support them in PM, listen to them, help with any problem as a friend... you better believe it. That goes for many others here as well.

I do not need "real life" to be someones friend. How you view people is up to you.

 

[Lokiate]

Friends, enemies and strangers. We exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends, while ignoring or minimizing their flaws. We do the opposite with our enemies. We exaggerate their negative qualities, ignore or minimize their positive qualities and we are indifferent to strangers.

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?


Friend, Stranger or Enemy by David W. Edgerly, Ph.D.

I spent about a month one time contemplating this topic. It's pretty illuminating.

A "friend" is a person who is on good terms, an "enemy" is someone who is not. The degrees vary. A stranger is simply an irrelevant unknown, unless rendered relevant one way or another.

 

[syrenn]

Sky,

I think the premise is flawed. We don't always do what your opening sentence says we do to begin with.

G.T.

IMO, the premise isn't flawed. Most of the time, due to attachment and aversion we either exaggerate the positive qualities of our friends and minimize their negative flaws while we do the opposite to our enemies.

Consider a common US enemy according to many people. Muslims. People who hate Muslims exaggerate their negative qualities and ignore or mimimize their positive ones.

Describe a friend. For me, my friends know me well and they love and accept me as I am. They want me to be happy. They support me in my goals. They exaggerate my positive qualities and they minimize my negative ones.

My enemies want me to be unhappy. They delight in causing harm. They exaggerate my negative qualities and ignore or minimize my positive ones.

Strangers are neutral.

Your premise is incredibly flawed.

I am very sure the next drink is what makes an alcoholic happy. Is a yes man a friend or one who does not passively go along to make them happy?

How about the next hit of crack? I am very sure the next hit will make a crack head very happy. Is being a friend and not saying anything and supporting their goal of getting high the right thing?

How about the abused wife who does not want to face anything? She would be happy not talking about the abuse and hearing that her husband should be in jail. Are you her friend by staying silent and making believe all is well in the world?

How about a goal to kill yourself?

The list can go on and on. Exaggerating the positive qualities and minimizing the negative one is total and complete bullshit. If you like someone you tell them what you think. If you are friends with someone you say all the evil hard things.

If you as the other person cannot bear criticism and the truth, if you cannot bear to hear any other opinion other then your own, if you cannot take a friend saying what THAT think... that should say more about you then them. It is selfish and one sided to not want to hear a differing opinion.


Bottom line is if you cannot be honest with your friends... you are not real friends. If you avoid all the hard, difficult and uncomfortable topics...you are not real friends.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Another example of enemies: conservatives and liberals on this forum. Each hating the other and putting them down.

To much problem to label people enemies as it conveys a specific feeling. It implies hatred and I don't have the strength to waste hating people. My strength is used for me.

I mostly feel sorry for Liberals as they have delusional beliefs and are so ignorant of reality.

 

[Intense]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

 

[Sky Dancer]

How can one develop an equal, kind, regard for "friend, enemy and stranger"?

Further on the topic, you also can't say that enemy means the same to all, either.

For instance, if I consider someone an enemy, it's because they've probably done something so beyond the pale of being a good person that they wouldn't DESERVE equal regard with those whom I'd consider a friend, unless they made amends with me regarding what they've done.

Enemy is normally used by most people in an extreme way. In Buddhism we only use it to indicate anyone who is not a friend nor a stranger who opposes us in some way. Its a broad general category for mind training.

 

[syrenn]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

friends and enemy's of Charlotta. There is a list you know

 

[Sky Dancer]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

It's not profiling. It's a way to work with attachment, aversion and ignorance.

 

[Intense]

Friends, Enemies, and Strangers, it's called Profiling. Seriously, does Anybody fit into your packaging? Anybody at all?

friends and enemy's of Charlotta. There is a list you know

A List.

Another List!!!

OMG!!!