Forgiveness

[TemplarKormac]

i have given it to you two times now.....you may need to ask a mod what is wrong with your inbox

I am sure my inbox works just fine. Here, let me make it easier for you: if you have issues spelling my name it's "TemplarKormac" (without quotes).

If you want to send me the message again, click my name on any post in this thread and click the second option on the dropdown menu. For the love of pete, I am begging you to let me rectify myself. Either my inbox is malfunctioning, or you're not sending me the PM, bones.

On a side note, I think I'm being toyed with here, and I don't very much appreciate it. Either I did something to hurt you or I didn't.

 

[BDBoop]

I'm afraid I don't understand.

I can't own up to any mistakes if I don't know what they are, or if the person I wronged won't speak up about it. She makes this harder on herself by not being more compliant. I am willing to admit any error in judgement I have committed. How many times must I say it? How many concessions must I make?

You know now.

How many concessions must I make? I believe that's where the seventy-times-seven bit comes into play.

I'm not trying to grieve you, TK. But if you are going to hold yourself to a standard, then do so. This is part of claiming the high ground.

I can only hold myself to that standard if I know what I did to transgress against someone. And while I am being lectured about taking the high ground, we have another person tearing me to shreds about something I supposedly did to them, for which they have yet to provide proof of. She says she sent me the PM. I don't have it.

I'm beginning to think this is some kind of cruel joke.

I second you checking with a mod.

Bones, why don't you send it to me, and I'll send it to him.

 

[BDBoop]

OR you could send it to TK simultaneously with a mod of your choosing. That way, we'll at least know that it was out there.

 

[amrchaos]

- How do you forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven because they don't believe they did anything wrong.

- Essentially, I'm having trouble just letting go of them believing an untruth about me, no matter how many times we discuss the situation.

- Not only that, but they think I need to ask their forgiveness for something I didn't do.

Not only that, but they think I need to ask their forgiveness for something I didn't do.


... the proof is in the pudding, all three should be reconcilable - there must be an abstraction one or the other of you has that predetermined the outcome irregardless the actual event. - "it was after midnight", darling ...

any clues ?

.

/deep breath

Okay. My sister got pregnant when she was nineteen, and my parents adopted her son. Not legally, but they were mom and dad for the first 2.5 years of his life.

Then she got sober, and remembered who raised her. She went and got him back.

My mom is deceased, but my dad thinks I helped my sister reach that decision. I did not. I wasn't even in contact with her during that portion of her life, because of the drunkenness. This is something he's dredging up from the distant past for whatever reason, and I could almost live with it if I'd actually committed this 'sin' to begin with.

Never mind the fact that they actually were incredibly abusive parents, and I will never believe she made the wrong decision in taking her son away from them.

Apologies if this is a teal deer.

Let me make sure I got this correct.

Your father is falsely accusing you of getting your sister sober and taking up her responsibility as mother. And this is currently a major problem between you and your parents?

I wish I had problems like that. Falsely accused of doing the right thing. I think the true problem lies within your father--that is knowing what his role of father is suppose to be.

I think a part of that role is raising kids to become responsible adult s. Hey look, he got two--good job dad!

I don't think this issue requires "forgiveness". This is more of a problem dealing with simple misconception and maybe some personality flaws. For instance, is it possible that your dad is actually praising you when he talks about what happened? If not, remind him of what his role is.

Maybe taking up a more assertive stance is key to resolving your problem as well. In other words, you maybe coming off as too humble when you deny the accusation. Unfortunately, some people have a tendency to associate dishonesty with humility. So I guess a blunt and somewhat egotistical attitude is necessary when dealing with your father.

By the way, have you ever rebelled against your parents when you were a teenager? If not, then I can understand why you have such a problem.

 

[BDBoop]

Not only that, but they think I need to ask their forgiveness for something I didn't do.


... the proof is in the pudding, all three should be reconcilable - there must be an abstraction one or the other of you has that predetermined the outcome irregardless the actual event. - "it was after midnight", darling ...

any clues ?

.

/deep breath

Okay. My sister got pregnant when she was nineteen, and my parents adopted her son. Not legally, but they were mom and dad for the first 2.5 years of his life.

Then she got sober, and remembered who raised her. She went and got him back.

My mom is deceased, but my dad thinks I helped my sister reach that decision. I did not. I wasn't even in contact with her during that portion of her life, because of the drunkenness. This is something he's dredging up from the distant past for whatever reason, and I could almost live with it if I'd actually committed this 'sin' to begin with.

Never mind the fact that they actually were incredibly abusive parents, and I will never believe she made the wrong decision in taking her son away from them.

Apologies if this is a teal deer.

Let me make sure I got this correct.

Your father is falsely accusing you of getting your sister sober and taking up her responsibility as mother. And this is currently a major problem between you and your parents?

I wish I had problems like that. Falsely accused of doing the right thing. I think the true problem lies within your father--that is knowing what his role of father is suppose to be.

I think a part of that role is raising kids to become responsible adult s. Hey look, he got two--good job dad!

I don't think this issue requires "forgiveness". This is more of a problem dealing with simple misconception and maybe some personality flaws. For instance, is it possible that your dad is actually praising you when he talks about what happened? If not, remind him of what his role is.

Maybe taking up a more assertive stance is key to resolving your problem as well. In other words, you maybe coming off as too humble when you deny the accusation. Unfortunately, some people have a tendency to associate dishonesty with humility. So I guess a blunt and somewhat egotistical attitude is necessary when dealing with your father.

By the way, have you ever rebelled against your parents when you were a teenager? If not, then I can understand why you have such a problem.

No. He does not believe she did the right thing, and he believes this is my fault. He believes the biggest heartbreak of his life, losing his only son, was my doing.

 

[strollingbones]

i have given it to you boop....lets see if it works for you

 

[TemplarKormac]

You know now.

How many concessions must I make? I believe that's where the seventy-times-seven bit comes into play.

I'm not trying to grieve you, TK. But if you are going to hold yourself to a standard, then do so. This is part of claiming the high ground.

I can only hold myself to that standard if I know what I did to transgress against someone. And while I am being lectured about taking the high ground, we have another person tearing me to shreds about something I supposedly did to them, for which they have yet to provide proof of. She says she sent me the PM. I don't have it.

I'm beginning to think this is some kind of cruel joke.

I second you checking with a mod.

Bones, why don't you send it to me, and I'll send it to him.

The thought has crossed my mind. In fact, I will speak to one right now. I want to rectify this mistake, whatever it may be, if in fact there is one.

This has gone on long enough.

 

[strollingbones]

i will give it to any mod he would like me to give it to

 

[BDBoop]

I just received the PM from Bones, and forwarded it to TK simultaneously as sending it back to her.

Did you both get it.

 

[TemplarKormac]

/deep breath

Okay. My sister got pregnant when she was nineteen, and my parents adopted her son. Not legally, but they were mom and dad for the first 2.5 years of his life.

Then she got sober, and remembered who raised her. She went and got him back.

My mom is deceased, but my dad thinks I helped my sister reach that decision. I did not. I wasn't even in contact with her during that portion of her life, because of the drunkenness. This is something he's dredging up from the distant past for whatever reason, and I could almost live with it if I'd actually committed this 'sin' to begin with.

Never mind the fact that they actually were incredibly abusive parents, and I will never believe she made the wrong decision in taking her son away from them.

Apologies if this is a teal deer.

Let me make sure I got this correct.

Your father is falsely accusing you of getting your sister sober and taking up her responsibility as mother. And this is currently a major problem between you and your parents?

I wish I had problems like that. Falsely accused of doing the right thing. I think the true problem lies within your father--that is knowing what his role of father is suppose to be.

I think a part of that role is raising kids to become responsible adult s. Hey look, he got two--good job dad!

I don't think this issue requires "forgiveness". This is more of a problem dealing with simple misconception and maybe some personality flaws. For instance, is it possible that your dad is actually praising you when he talks about what happened? If not, remind him of what his role is.

Maybe taking up a more assertive stance is key to resolving your problem as well. In other words, you maybe coming off as too humble when you deny the accusation. Unfortunately, some people have a tendency to associate dishonesty with humility. So I guess a blunt and somewhat egotistical attitude is necessary when dealing with your father.

By the way, have you ever rebelled against your parents when you were a teenager? If not, then I can understand why you have such a problem.

No. He does not believe she did the right thing, and he believes this is my fault. He believes the biggest heartbreak of his life, losing his only son, was my doing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He blames you for that? That's pretty unreasonable. No offense.

 

[BDBoop]

Let me make sure I got this correct.

Your father is falsely accusing you of getting your sister sober and taking up her responsibility as mother. And this is currently a major problem between you and your parents?

I wish I had problems like that. Falsely accused of doing the right thing. I think the true problem lies within your father--that is knowing what his role of father is suppose to be.

I think a part of that role is raising kids to become responsible adult s. Hey look, he got two--good job dad!

I don't think this issue requires "forgiveness". This is more of a problem dealing with simple misconception and maybe some personality flaws. For instance, is it possible that your dad is actually praising you when he talks about what happened? If not, remind him of what his role is.

Maybe taking up a more assertive stance is key to resolving your problem as well. In other words, you maybe coming off as too humble when you deny the accusation. Unfortunately, some people have a tendency to associate dishonesty with humility. So I guess a blunt and somewhat egotistical attitude is necessary when dealing with your father.

By the way, have you ever rebelled against your parents when you were a teenager? If not, then I can understand why you have such a problem.

No. He does not believe she did the right thing, and he believes this is my fault. He believes the biggest heartbreak of his life, losing his only son, was my doing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He blames you for that? That's pretty unreasonable. No offense.

Chaos did bring up a very good point though, one I'd forgotten with my mother's passing: My role as family scapegoat. I abdicated, he apparently didn't get the notification.

This thread has been extremely helpful, - again. Thank you all for taking the time to chat me through it.

 

[TemplarKormac]

I just received the PM from Bones, and forwarded it to TK simultaneously as sending it back to her.

Did you both get it.

I've taken her off of my ignore list, nothing. I've done the same for you as well, BD. But I still have not gotten any message, either from you, or from her. What is going on here?

P.S. I've taken you off my ignore list BD, permanently. You took the time to speak to me, although you weren't obligated to. I can respect that.

 

[strollingbones]

i knew it....now we are conspiring against him.......get a mod...pick out a mod and lets see why your inbox isnt working....

 

[strollingbones]

i got it...no worries...seems he is the only one having problems getting it....

 

[BDBoop]

Okay, we're both off ignore so let's just try it one last time - but no. Because I have people on ignore, I still get their PM's. It's just a gray line I have to click on a link that says "see message."

 

[BDBoop]

Or with Bones' permission to share her PM, I can post it. You'll have the original to prove you received it from someone at that point if it comes down to him denying it still.

 

[TemplarKormac]

i knew it....now we are conspiring against him.......get a mod...pick out a mod and lets see why your inbox isnt working....

I sent you two a message. Please tell me whether or not you got it. And I haven't accused her of doing anything.

 

[strollingbones]

i dont care if you post it but i think he needs to call a mod ...if he truly wants to settle this..but that aint gonna happen

 

[strollingbones]

o i got it and replied ....for the third time you have the pm in question....now i have to do hubbys chores since he is not up....but i will be back

 

[BDBoop]

i knew it....now we are conspiring against him.......get a mod...pick out a mod and lets see why your inbox isnt working....

I sent you two a message. Please tell me whether or not you got it. And I haven't accused her of doing anything.

Well in truth, several posts ago in this very thread you accused her of lying about sending the PM.