Zone1 Inability to forgive. Guidance please.

[HikerGuy83]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

If you are religious, make it a matter of prayer.

The Atonement can help change your very nature. It can remove this from your soul.

 

[onefour1]

Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

[onefour1]

You should turn the justice of the matter over to the Lord and let him exact any penalty that is to be meted out.

Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-11
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.

 

[buttercup]

Forgiveness is predicated on repentance. If the other party is unaware of his transgression, or is not remorseful, then forgiveness is nothing more than a mind game.

There are times when repentance doesn't happen (for example, if someone who hurt someone else dies, before repenting) and holding on to unforgiveness for a lifetime in a case like that will only hurt the person who is being unforgiving... it's like poison. It causes bitterness and lack of peace. I don't know if you were just stating your own thoughts or talking about it from a biblical perspective... but from a biblical perspective I'm pretty sure we're supposed to forgive no matter what. That can mean forgiving someone even if that person doesn't know about it.

But what is definitely predicated of repentance is reconciliation.

 

[Road Runner]

There are times when repentance doesn't happen (for example, if someone who hurt someone else dies, before repenting) and holding on to unforgiveness for a lifetime in a case like that will only hurt the person who is being unforgiving... it's like poison. It causes bitterness and lack of peace. I don't know if you were just stating your own thoughts or talking about it from a biblical perspective... but from a biblical perspective I'm pretty sure we're supposed to forgive no matter what. That can mean forgiving someone even if that person doesn't know about it.

But what is definitely predicated of repentance is reconciliation.

I don't even think that you have to be best friends with the person you forgive, all you have to do is let go of your hate and anger and move on.

 

[kjw47]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Pray to Jehovah for strength to forgive. And realize you have done 10x more against God that needs forgiving, all sin, all need to be forgiven. Stop thinking about self.

 

[BreezeWood]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

there is no forgiving evil ... that's their fate and very difficult to correct - if they sought help you might consider their pleas.

 

[shockedcanadian]

there is no forgiving evil ... that's their fate and very difficult to correct - if they sought help you might consider their pleas.

Yeah, evil is difficult to forgive, hence my predicament. If I had been allowed to walk through life freely it would have gone but these Stasi wannabes destroy lives and in turn, thanks to the internet; our reputation and economy.

Americans don't understand but I am certain many of your politicians and agencies are fully aware. Read the books Stasiland by Anna Funder or "The File" that spoke about a guy locating his Stasi dossier after the fall of the Berlin Wall.

You would then better appreciate the Canadian system, but it is in many ways even more creepy as they employ the young to destroy the young and the poor.

 

[task0778]

Forgiveness is a hard thing for most people to do. Maybe you'll never do it, but my advice is to ignore them as much as possible. You don't have to forgive but you don't have to dwell on the past injustices done to you either.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Forgiveness is a hard thing for most people to do. Maybe you'll never do it, but my advice is to ignore them as much as possible. You don't have to forgive but you don't have to dwell on the past injustices done to you either.

The problem is that their evil in the past lingers in the present and future. That is how police states operate. Dirty little secrets that Canada works overtime to prevent you from understanding.

As I said, the internet exposed us and it's reached the point where there are many Americans who just say "I don't care if I don't get anything in trade from Canada, they are not like us".

What a steep decline we have faced in such a rapid fashion. The British worked overtime to protect their turf and make sure we didn't embrace the civil liberties such as the republic to our south had. Just as the Soviets watched their satellites sink into oblivion, we are on the precipice unlike any time in our short history.

 

[fncceo]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Hunt them down and extract brutal revenge.

 

[JohnDB]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Common occurrence.

Parable of the shrewd manager (if you know scriptures)

Some people do more harm than others.

Forgiveness is for the victim...not the perpetrator.
Resentment and anger causes bitter roots to form which destroy the vessel that contains them. It's like you drinking poison hoping it kills your abuser.

That being said....forgiveness is like a muscle. It grows stronger with use and exercise. Someone bumps into you and doesn't ask forgiveness or apologizes....you can probably forgive them easily. Someone kills your wife or son? Yeah....not gonna get to that level of the bumping idiot anytime soon.

Trying to claim a murderer is forgiven....that's just nuts doormat behavior. No need to lie to yourself.
Hate is not the opposite of love...apathy is. Forgiveness is something you give your child or spouse and you love them in spite of their flaws...maybe even because of them.

 

[frigidweirdo]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

If they deserve it, then it's not your problem. Forget it.

Just because you religion tells you to forgive, doesn't mean you have to listen to your religion.

 

[Z99]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

I hear you and can relate. Jesus asked our Heavenly Father to forgive those who killed him as they did not know what they were doing. Along those same lines we can understand that people who have wronged us are themselves lost from Jesus and don't know what they're doing. You must also remember that you want to be forgiven by our Father for your own transgressions. In the end, we will ALL be freed from sin by Jesus and be transformed into perfection. Those who harmed will apologize to you, either in this life or the next. In the meantime, trust Jesus and do your best to obey his commandments.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I hear you and can relate. Jesus asked our Heavenly Father to forgive those who killed him as they did not know what they were doing. Along those same lines we can understand that people who have wronged us are themselves lost from Jesus and don't know what they're doing. You must also remember that you want to be forgiven by our Father for your own transgressions. In the end, we will ALL be freed from sin by Jesus and be transformed into perfection. Those who harmed will apologize to you, either in this life or the next. In the meantime, trust Jesus and do your best to obey his commandments.

Jesus was a man. A noble and admirable man as it were.

I need G-d to guide me.

 

[Road Runner]

I hear you and can relate. Jesus asked our Heavenly Father to forgive those who killed him as they did not know what they were doing. Along those same lines we can understand that people who have wronged us are themselves lost from Jesus and don't know what they're doing. You must also remember that you want to be forgiven by our Father for your own transgressions. In the end, we will ALL be freed from sin by Jesus and be transformed into perfection. Those who harmed will apologize to you, either in this life or the next. In the meantime, trust Jesus and do your best to obey his commandments.

Yeah I never understood that as I'm pretty sure that the people who crucified Jesus knew exactly what they were doing so was He speaking figuratively? I'm pretty sure that pedophiles and thieves know exactly what they're doing too.

 

[onefour1]

Yeah I never understood that as I'm pretty sure that the people who crucified Jesus knew exactly what they were doing so was He speaking figuratively? I'm pretty sure that pedophiles and thieves know exactly what they're doing too.

I believe that Jesus' comment that they knew not what they were doing is an expression of how we all knew God the Father and Jesus in our premortal existence and that we all loved them greatly but after coming to this mortal world we had our memory of those things taken away that we might walk by faith. The men did not at that time view Jesus as their Savior and God but thought that they were crucifying a normal person for their illegal acts. The Christ is having mercy on them because they did not know that he truly was their beloved Savior and eternal hope in this live and in all eternity. This was probably the greatest act of mercy to forgive those who are in the very act of murdering you. But Jesus had a full and complete understanding of this life and his life to come.

 

[MizMolly]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

I have tried to forgive and forget. It didn’t work. In fact, it bothered me more when I found myself struggling to forgive when I absolutely couldn’t. I’m okay now that I don’t forgive. What was done to me is over and done, can’t change it, but I can’t forget it and I refuse to beat myself up over people who aren’t worthy of forgiveness. I sleep well at night.

 

[Carl in Michigan]

Some stuff ya just have to let go for your own sake.

^^THIS
Quit dwelling on it and move on.
We ALL deal with shit in our lives. Some like to see themselves as a martyr.
Time to focus outward and not inward.
There are lots of assholes out there, and there are also some pretty great people. Give your thoughts and attention to those who deserve it and leave the others to God.

But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!”[d] 10 Yet these people slander whatever they do not understand, and the very things they do understand by instinct—as irrational animals do—will destroy them.

 

[Votto]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

The key is not taking it personally.

The forces that drive people to harm others will destroy them ultimately.

If they did not harm you, they would have harmed others in your stead. It has nothing really to do with YOU.

The Bible commands us to hate evil, but not people, if that makes any sense.