Zone1 Inability to forgive. Guidance please.

[shockedcanadian]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

 

[alang1216]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Have you put yourself in their shoes and try and figure out why they did what they did?

 

[The Duke]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Not forgiving people only hurts you. Forgive, but don't forget.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Have you put yourself in their shoes and try and figure out why they did what they did?

'
Yes. Unfortunately their motives make it far worse, far more definitive that it was not due to their misguidance, it was quite deliberate.

 

[Thunk]

not forgiving eats me alive

You nailed it right there!

Now forget the phrase "Forgive and forget"...it's a lie! Erase it from your memory banks!

You forgive...but don't forget! NEVER forget! To forget means you will allow it to happen again some day.

But to forgive if for YOUR benefit. So it doesn't "eat you alive". You don't have to tell someone that you've forgiven them...there are many people I have forgiven that don't even know it. But the fact that I have forgiven them allows ME to sleep well at night.

 

[Thunk]

Unfortunately their motives make it far worse,

Then I would (and have) forgive them...but don't speak to them again...cut them out of your life completely.

I didn't cut them off because of ill will or hatred...but my own self preservation.

They have proven themselves untrustworthy...so I now have nothing to do with them.

 

[theHawk]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

There is only one enemy, and he has deceived us all at one point.

All you can do is pray for such people that fall for the lies and allow themselves to be deceived.

I like to remember that 10,000 years from now I won’t give the people that wronged me or my country a second thought. You’ll either be in eternal glory or in hell driven mad. Either way you won’t care about anything about this modern world.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I don't forgive. I don't forget. When someone has wronged me, they are dead. You cannot resurrect the dead.

 

[Thunk]

If you just can't forgive...GET EVEN!

 

[Arlette]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Throw them out of your life and don't think about em anymore.

 

[Road Runner]

If you just can't forgive...GET EVEN!

Now, now two wrongs don't make a right lol

 

[Auld Phart]

If you just can't forgive...GET EVEN!

Girl I tried to date, (stopped when her boyfriend threatened to beat me up (she wasn't worth that!)), 60 years ago totally upset me when I found out she had been accusing me of stalking her on FB. I messaged her twice in 10 years, once when my brother in law died, once when another subscriber asked if anyone knew if it was her in a picture that had been posted.

she had spread that rumor to some people I graduated with, and I started getting the cold shoulder from them.

I ended FB at that time and decided to do some backstabbing myself.

I found a site where people posted sex stories, and started one starring her, her sister, and her parents.

I'm on Chapter 22, it's been downloaded over 18,000 times, and she won't know about it til I'm on my deathbed. I'll send her a link to it then.

 

[Manonthestreet]

Have you put yourself in their shoes and try and figure out why they did what they did?

Some stuff ya just have to let go for your own sake.

 

[BackAgain]

Now, now two wrongs don't make a right lol

And perhaps not. But three rights may yield a left.

 

[jwoodie]

Forgiveness is predicated on repentance. If the other party is unaware of his transgression, or is not remorseful, then forgiveness is nothing more than a mind game.

 

[Road Runner]

And perhaps not. But three rights may yield a left.

Huh?

 

[BackAgain]

Huh?

Start at point “A,” facing north. Take one step. You are now at point “B.” Turn to the right (90 degree) and take one step to point “C.”

Once at “C,” turn right again. 90 degrees. Then take another step. Stop. Turn right 90 degrees. Walk another step to point “D.”

You are now facing west.

That’s to the left of where you started.

 

[BackAgain]

Or:

Stay on spot “A” the whole time. No steps involved. Face North. If you turn left you’re facing West.

But, you could turn (90 degrees each turn) to your right. East. Then to the South. Finally to the West.

Three rights yielded same result as one left.

 

[Thunk]

Now, now two wrongs don't make a right lol

True...but 3 lefts do

 

[Meriweather]

There are some who have done such harm to me through lies and evil deception that even many years later I still cannot forgive them.

Though I don't think about these people every day, from time to time I do and not forgiving eats me alive though it is well warranted and justified.

Ultimately it would have to be them who asks for forgiveness to rescue their own soul, but I am paying the price in some form.

Any of you fall into such a category? Advice?

Strong emotions are often a call to action, a call to right a wrong. Somewhere. You didn't share the specifics so let's work with an example. Let's say one of these evils was that someone stole something from you or cheated you out of something that was precious or meaningful to you. Money is easy to work with. Let's say someone stole from you, leaving you in need. Let's suppose that theft left you clinging hard to money ever since. You can't forgive. Consider finding someone or a worthy group and give to them what was taken from you. It doesn't have to be the same amount. Basically, you are reversing (forgiving) what was taken--changing the taken into a gift. Giving for taking and balance is restored. You have done something both in deed and symbol, extending gift and forgiveness back into the world, especially into your own life.