Emotionally available?

[Robert Urbanek]

A common complaint by women is that men are emotionally unavailable and don’t express their feelings. The problem would seem to be solved within the family unit. The woman marries the dull but reliable man anyway and their babies, who are uninhibited, provide the mother with the emotional feedback she wants. Or am I missing something?

 

[Unkotare]

You're missing everything.

 

[1srelluc]

All most men want when they get home is a clean house, well behaved/turned-out children, and a pleasant woman who feeds and fucks them. Pretty simple stuff as men tend to be simple creatures as far as basic needs go.

If a woman sets her mind to providing her man those basic things then he's going to stick around and provide the means to keep that situation stable and even improve on it.

All bets are off at around 45 though.

 

[DGS49]

This topic is addressed in great detail in one of Dave Barry's books on love and marriage.

The issue is not that men don't express their feelings, it is that men don't HAVE feelings to the same extent that women do. Men's emotions range from happy to pissed off to don't give a shit. "Hurt" or "gratified" are rare, and quickly discarded when possible.

Ask a man the question, "How do you FEEL about that?" and he immediately starts examining his conscience to see if he somehow fucked up, or if there is some emotion that one is SUPPOSED to feel under the circumstances, so that he can fake it. (Ref: Dexter Morgan).

For example, I recently had a long-time brother-in-law pass away. I didn't like him at all, and when "processing" his death in my mind and heart, my only emotion - and it was a very mild one - was that the world is a little bit better place without him in it. Needless to say, I didn't stand up and speak at the funeral service.

At 72 y.o., I express my emotions very well and openly, but most of them are on the golf course. Not much else in life I care enough about to get visibly emotional.

You want to see men express emotions...watch them this afternoon as they view their favorite team playing football. Now THERE is emotion on display!

 

[Blues Man]

I told my wife I was going to get more in touch with my feminine side

So I crashed the car then ignored her all day for no reason.

 

[Blues Man]

After a long drive where my wife hadn't said a word, she asked me if I wanted to know why she wasn't talking to me.

I said, "No, Honey, I love you and trust your judgement."

 

[Disir]

A common complaint by women is that men are emotionally unavailable and don’t express their feelings. The problem would seem to be solved within the family unit. The woman marries the dull but reliable man anyway and their babies, who are uninhibited, provide the mother with the emotional feedback she wants. Or am I missing something?

Yes. A lot.

Emotionally unavailable men are often chosen by


(wait for it because this is where it gets real good)


women who are ultimately also emotionally unavailable.

This has to do with attachment. When we talk about attachment it is usually about children and their caregivers. It is helpful to understand why they are behaving in a certain way and how to give them what they need.

There is not a lot of attention that is given to adults but it very much impacts all relationships. There are people that do not have any issues and they may partner with someone that does.
Here is a good start:

The Attachment Project: Learn Attachment Theory from Experts

Online courses with renowned attachment specialists to start healing the past. Enroll today and access our award-winning treatment.

www.attachmentproject.com

 

[Thunk]

The real problem is that woman complain when men don't express their feelings,...and when they do!

 

[Unkotare]

...

All bets are off at around 45 though.

????????????????????????

 

[SweetSue92]

A common complaint by women is that men are emotionally unavailable and don’t express their feelings. The problem would seem to be solved within the family unit. The woman marries the dull but reliable man anyway and their babies, who are uninhibited, provide the mother with the emotional feedback she wants. Or am I missing something?

Maybe women could stop expecting men--especially young men--to be women. Wouldn't that be nice?

In my experience, most of men's "feelings" are in their stomach and....lower. Sorry guys. They are thinkers too but that's not feelings.

When they get a little older that changes. But younger men--yeah. And that's okay. That's how societies get built. On stomachs and....yeah.

 

[Robert Urbanek]

Some women have written off both men and children and now look to dogs for emotional support.

 

[presonorek]

If you leave your wife then she hates you. If you stay with your wife then she hates you. Shoot man. Once you get married you are doomed to fail. Just stay in the house to get free Wi-Fi, pancakes, and occasional sex.

I have stopped trying to figure this crap out. My wife complains about me constantly. She has enough money to leave me any time. She doesn’t leave so I guess she doesn’t hate me as bad as she pretends to hate me.

If you are a man and not married then never get married. If you are married, just stay. It doesn’t get any better. You can’t unpull the trigger. You are wrong no matter what you do. Take the path of least resistance.

Let me share my emotions. I feel so defeated all the damn time.

Do I get a prize or was that the wrong answer? Let me guess……….

 

[braalian]

Maybe women could stop expecting men--especially young men--to be women. Wouldn't that be nice?

In my experience, most of men's "feelings" are in their stomach and....lower. Sorry guys. They are thinkers too but that's not feelings.

When they get a little older that changes. But younger men--yeah. And that's okay. That's how societies get built. On stomachs and....yeah.

Horny’s a feeling.

 

[Rigby5]

The problem is that if the man has a career, it is usually interesting, fulfilling, satisfying, creative, etc.
In contrast, women are not allowed any of these outlets, and instead are relegated to menial chores like cooking and cleaning, that are not at all interesting, fulfilling, satisfying, creative, etc.
Combine that with the man controlling all the money, and it essentially is like a dictatorship.