Email signature lines at work

[alan1]

I really get tired of some of the signature lines people at work put in their emails. I work for a Fortune 500 company, I’m there to do a job, not read your cutesy, religious, political, or quasi professional signature line.

Below are examples of some the signature lines I have seen in coworker’s emails and my commentary about them.
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Go Green Tip: Use matches, not lighters. Matches are made from recycled material but lighters end up in land fills.

Hey Asshole, I use a refillable Zippo lighter when starting fires in old growth forests.

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You will not be promoted until you trian somebody else well enough to do your job.

Hey Asshole, you spelled "train" incorrectly, who was the idiot that promoted you?

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Please save trees and don’t print this email.

Hey Asshole, common paper is made from trees specifically planted for making paper. It’s not only a renewable resource, but young vigorously growing forests do more to benefit the environment than just letting that land lie dormant.

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Have a blessed day, Jesus loves you.

Hey Asshole, you cc’d 4 Jews, 1 Native American, 3 Chinese, 1 Japanese, 1 atheist and 5 Indians in this email. Your religion means nothing to them, shut up about it.

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Always question the status quo, there is no such thing as a stupid question.

Hey Asshole, you just proved there is such a thing as a stupid signature line. Why are you such a moron? How’s that for a question?