Earn an A? Here's $50.

[Paulie]

He is nine months old so I really don't know what is going to happen. I will probably send him to spend time with brother anyways. I value what my brother can teach him and if you have a problem with that, then that is fine. I plan on raising my son right and I will try anything to make sure he turns out right.

You are the only one that should be responsible for raising your child, so long as you are of sound mind and body to do so.

I don't see how handing him over to someone else is raising him right. It will only reinforce in his mind that he has control, because even his own mother couldn't handle him. You made the decision to have the sex, you made the decision to give birth to the child, and now you have a responsibility to come full circle and raise a good kid. It requires discipline first and foremost, and you have to be willing to use it.

 

[Shattered]

You are the only one that should be responsible for raising your child, so long as you are of sound mind and body to do so.

I don't see how handing him over to someone else is raising him right. It will only reinforce in his mind that he has control, because even his own mother couldn't handle him. You made the decision to have the sex, you made the decision to give birth to the child, and now you have a responsibility to come full circle and raise a good kid. It requires discipline first and foremost, and you have to be willing to use it.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Paulitics again.

That's all I said. How that got twisted in to "questioning someones parenting", I'll never know. But I'm not too worried about it biting me in the ass.

 

[Luissa]

You are the only one that should be responsible for raising your child, so long as you are of sound mind and body to do so.

I don't see how handing him over to someone else is raising him right. It will only reinforce in his mind that he has control, because even his own mother couldn't handle him. You made the decision to have the sex, you made the decision to give birth to the child, and now you have a responsibility to come full circle and raise a good kid. It requires discipline first and foremost, and you have to be willing to use it.

I wasn't talking about handing him over to someone to raise him for me. Read what I said! I said I would have him go stay on my brother's ranch in the summer time to learn hard work.
What would you have me do, raise him the way some parents do today and give him whatever he wants and give only rewards. And for that matter, what boy wouldn't want to go stay on a ranch.
I stayed with my brother when I was twenty and stupid for a couple weeks and it taught me a lot.
And you are right I had sex and I have live with having the best boy someones could have and I will never say sorry for making a bad choice that resulted in something so great.
And who knows he might turn out good and I am going to try very hard to make sure he does.

 

[Shattered]

I wasn't talking about handing him over to someone to raise him for me. Read what I said! I said I would have him go stay on my brother's ranch in the summer time to learn hard work.
What would you have me do, raise him the way some parents do today and give him whatever he wants and give only rewards. And for that matter, what boy wouldn't want to go stay on a ranch.
I stayed with my brother when I was twenty and stupid for a couple weeks and it taught me a lot.
And you are right I had sex and I have live with having the best boy someones could have and I will never say sorry for making a bad choice that resulted in something so great.
And who knows he might turn out good and I am going to try very hard to make sure he does.

No? You plan on quittinmg your job for the summer and going WITH him, or are you planning on handing him over to someone else to "teach him a lesson" for being "uncontrollable"?

 

[Luissa]

No? You plan on quittinmg your job for the summer and going WITH him, or are you planning on handing him over to someone else to "teach him a lesson" for being "uncontrollable"?

Like I said he is nine months old I really don't know what I am going to do but I will make that choice whatever it is when the time comes. And I am sure he will spend time with his uncle either way. My brother has already talked about having him come to stay with him because he has no kids and it doesn't look like he ever will.
I don't really get why you felt the need to argue with me about this anyways. And I will probably go with him I don't get to see my brother that much anyways, since I live in Washington and he lives in Wyomning. All i know is I am going to the best I can to raise my child right and I don't have to explain my choices to anyone.
I just made an off handed remark which was mostly agreeing with you I might add, I had no idea someone would get so worked up about it.

 

[plt42]

All i know is I am going to the best I can to raise my child right and I don't have to explain my choices to anyone.

You are absolutely right! With the child's best interest at heart, you do the best you can and learn to trust your instincts. You'll doubt yourself many times over and will need trusted input from family and friends. In the finaly analysis... no one raises a child alone.

And how in the world did this go from rewarding good grades to child rearing?

 

[plt42]

Or, when all else fails, and you can't control them, pay them off.

I don't think it's a control issue, Shattered.

I see it as more of a reward issue. You do a good job in school, you get a few bucks and an "atta boy" from your parents. You do a good job in the work place, you get a paycheck and a promotion.

Maybe you could call it "early jobhood training".

 

[Luissa]

You are absolutely right! With the child's best interest at heart, you do the best you can and learn to trust your instincts. You'll doubt yourself many times over and will need trusted input from family and friends. In the finaly analysis... no one raises a child alone.

And how in the world did this go from rewarding good grades to child rearing?

They felt the need to judge someone else on how they raise their child. I made one simple remark and they ran with it.

 

[plt42]

It's a simple solution. Your kid makes an honest effort to devote an adequate amount of his or her time to their school work, and if they slack off instead, they pay the price of less freedom.

Just another example of parents looking to someone or somewhere else to do their job of parenting for them. A good parent would say thanks but no thanks, I'll do the job of raising my children myself.

Children are like the proverbial horse... you can lead them to the water but you can't make them drink.

Motivation is paramount. If they know they'll be punished (less freedom) for poor performance, what's wrong with letting them know that good performance has a positive reward attached... be it a buck or two, a trip to the Dairy Queen, or the kid's favs for dinner on report card day.

Even a dog likes a pat on the head when he fetches the newspaper!

 

[Shogun]

Shouldn't the opportunity to move on to higher education, and achieve a great career, be all the motivation one needs to perform better in school?

I like that it at least isn't coming from taxpayer money, but it says a lot about our current state of education in this country.

Is the opportunity to advance in your organization to achieve a greater position all you require when doing your job or do you also get paid? Is this NOT behavioral modification at it's finest in relation to how our post-high school society works? Do you think that every child has the same kind of motivating parents that put A plus efforts into their kids' education?


Do you think more kids learned to appriciate reading from being told they should enjoy it or from the Book-it program that used pizza as a reward?

 

[Shogun]

It's a simple solution. Your kid makes an honest effort to devote an adequate amount of his or her time to their school work, and if they slack off instead, they pay the price of less freedom.

Just another example of parents looking to someone or somewhere else to do their job of parenting for them. A good parent would say thanks but no thanks, I'll do the job of raising my children myself.

sooo.. since we can't make PARENTS conform to a standard the kids should have to fail by not having better motivational options? Sure, parents suck. But what is that going to do for the next cycle of ghetto kids with no educations and lots of baby mammas?

 

[Paulie]

I wasn't talking about handing him over to someone to raise him for me. Read what I said! I said I would have him go stay on my brother's ranch in the summer time to learn hard work.
What would you have me do, raise him the way some parents do today and give him whatever he wants and give only rewards. And for that matter, what boy wouldn't want to go stay on a ranch.
I stayed with my brother when I was twenty and stupid for a couple weeks and it taught me a lot.
And you are right I had sex and I have live with having the best boy someones could have and I will never say sorry for making a bad choice that resulted in something so great.
And who knows he might turn out good and I am going to try very hard to make sure he does.

I would never advocate giving your kid whatever he wants. That's probably about the worst thing you could do as a parent.

You have to start with discipline from birth. Your kid is never too young to be treated sternly. They should NEVER think they have control. EVER. You are the parent, and only YOU know what's best for the child. You have to be willing to use stern punishments at an early age, so the child never feels as though they have leeway to get over on you. If you do this, and you mix in fun times as well, I believe you will most likely have a good child on your hands.

BUT, you should never feel as though you can't handle the job, and ship the child away. The child needs YOU, not a surrogate parent because you were too weak to handle the situation. It's a tough job, I know that personally, but I really believe it starts and ends with discipline, from birth.

It's a rough world out there. Life doesn't get any easier as they get older, so you must start early on and teach them to be able to handle adversity. Never underestimate the "fear of god" tactic. Your child SHOULD have a slight amount of fear of you, but the fear manifests itself into respect as they grow older and start to understand where you were coming from.

 

[Paulie]

sooo.. since we can't make PARENTS conform to a standard the kids should have to fail by not having better motivational options? Sure, parents suck. But what is that going to do for the next cycle of ghetto kids with no educations and lots of baby mammas?

Giving kids money for good grades as a parent, fine. Having the school system step in and become the parents, that's wrong. That's ultimately just aiding the symptom, and not the cause.

The bottom line is good parenting is a lost art in this country. It starts THERE, not in the classroom. If we turn a blind eye to parenting, and create policies where someone ELSE becomes the parents, we will lose.

We'll lose either way, really. Either schools become the parents, and parenting goes by the wayside, or kids are allowed to fail due to their apathy.

Either way, it's just one more facet of how badly fucked this country is.

 

[Shogun]

Giving kids money for good grades as a parent, fine. Having the school system step in and become the parents, that's wrong. That's ultimately just aiding the symptom, and not the cause.

The bottom line is good parenting is a lost art in this country. It starts THERE, not in the classroom. If we turn a blind eye to parenting, and create policies where someone ELSE becomes the parents, we will lose.

We'll lose either way, really. Either schools become the parents, and parenting goes by the wayside, or kids are allowed to fail due to their apathy.

Either way, it's just one more facet of how badly fucked this country is.

and how would you cure the disease of shitty parents?

What we can't turn a blind eye to is the assumption that every parent is like Andy Griffith. so, again, I'd love to hear how you'd fix THAT end of the equation.

I don't think that evolving our society to accommodate the current culture regarding our failing students is a losing situation. NO more of a loser than pretending that blaming shitty parents will have a better effect on failing kids.

but i'd love to hear your critical thinking on fixing shitty parents.

 

[Paulie]

and how would you cure the disease of shitty parents?

What we can't turn a blind eye to is the assumption that every parent is like Andy Griffith. so, again, I'd love to hear how you'd fix THAT end of the equation.

I don't think that evolving our society to accommodate the current culture regarding our failing students is a losing situation. NO more of a loser than pretending that blaming shitty parents will have a better effect on failing kids.

but i'd love to hear your critical thinking on fixing shitty parents.

You know, I'm not sure there's really a solution to shitty parents. Mass sterilization?

I mean, we're getting stupider as a society as the years go by. So naturally, parenting is one aspect that is losing ground.

I suppose schools doing this isn't the worst thing in the world on the surface, but it just seems like the next phase of parenting to me, which is less responsibility overall. Schools are now even taking disciplinary actions against students for things that happened outside of school grounds, and even during the summer. So there again, schools are taking on the responsibility in lieu of parenting at home.

I'm more saddened at the lack of good parenting, than I am about schools stepping in. The moral hazzard though, is that parents will become accustomed to it over time, and eventually they will be taking on as little responsibility as they can because they know the school will do it for them.

It's a give and take. We give away responsible parenting, and take better grades in school. So maybe kids will be smarter and more successful for it later in life, but they will be coming up in the age of schoolhouse parenting.

People need to stop fucking so much.

 

[Luissa]

I would never advocate giving your kid whatever he wants. That's probably about the worst thing you could do as a parent.

You have to start with discipline from birth. Your kid is never too young to be treated sternly. They should NEVER think they have control. EVER. You are the parent, and only YOU know what's best for the child. You have to be willing to use stern punishments at an early age, so the child never feels as though they have leeway to get over on you. If you do this, and you mix in fun times as well, I believe you will most likely have a good child on your hands.

BUT, you should never feel as though you can't handle the job, and ship the child away. The child needs YOU, not a surrogate parent because you were too weak to handle the situation. It's a tough job, I know that personally, but I really believe it starts and ends with discipline, from birth.

It's a rough world out there. Life doesn't get any easier as they get older, so you must start early on and teach them to be able to handle adversity. Never underestimate the "fear of god" tactic. Your child SHOULD have a slight amount of fear of you, but the fear manifests itself into respect as they grow older and start to understand where you were coming from.

I know he should have some fear! I am still scared of my mom and I am 27, she just has to give me that mom look. And maybe I should of orginally worded my answer better. I don't ever plan on shipping my child away. But I also know from experience that growing up in the city, yeah you may work hard but it is not like waking up at 6am and working until dark.
So there fore I will take him to my brother and I am sure I will be there too. My brother is hard worker and my son can learn alot from him. My point really is I want my son to turn out well and a productive member of society.
And you are right in what you said! I will never pawn my child off anyone, for one I can barely handle going to work right now and not seeing him but of course he is nine months old.
Thank you for the advise! No one knows how to be the best parent nine months into it and it is always good to hear tips.

 

[Shogun]

look at africa. No one is going to stop fucking. I dunno.. paying kids in reflection to the culture they will have to live in after school just seems an obvious solution. Not only is it a great positive reinformcer but it might actually facilitate the idea of the value of money related to their work effort. Im open to alternate solutions but, without that, I say continue to use positive reinforcement.

 

[Paulie]

look at africa. No one is going to stop fucking. I dunno.. paying kids in reflection to the culture they will have to live in after school just seems an obvious solution. Not only is it a great positive reinformcer but it might actually facilitate the idea of the value of money related to their work effort. Im open to alternate solutions but, without that, I say continue to use positive reinforcement.

I can definitely agree about learning the value of a dollar relative to working.

What ideas would YOU might have about how to possibly solve this erosion of the parental unit these days?

 

[Shogun]

I can definitely agree about learning the value of a dollar relative to working.

What ideas would YOU might have about how to possibly solve this erosion of the parental unit these days?

thats the crux of this issue. I can't fathom how to police parents. Which, itself opens a whole slew of opposition by whose standards are set. Thus, appealing to kids rather than parents.

 

[Paulie]

thats the crux of this issue. I can't fathom how to police parents. Which, itself opens a whole slew of opposition by whose standards are set. Thus, appealing to kids rather than parents.

I can't fathom either. Short of enacting some kind of new laws, there's probably nothing that can stop the erosion. People are getting stupider and more carefree with every passing day, and when that gets mixed in with too much irresponsible sex, we get more kids from people who have no business being parents.