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Decided to Become a Liberal

Nonelitist

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.
 

rightwinger

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What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then ... we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." [JFK September 14, 1960]


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Maple

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

Ignore all facts and truth, always voice your opinion based on your emotions and feel good philosophies. Pay no attention to numbers or budgetary items, and mentally move yourself into a constant state of denial and coma. Oh and lest I forget- learn NOTHING about HISTORY. Remember to always blame Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush when caught in a corner and call anyone who disagrees with you a racist. There--- you have the rules for becoming a liberal. :lol::lol:
 

Coyote

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

We frequently get requests for political reassignment surgery, however I must warn you - it's easier to go from liberal to conservative (all that is needed is a larger set of balls and a few good men), it's quite a different story to go from conservative to liberal.

Since it's impossible to reverse a lobotomy...you can't do it "right". But I can give you some some tips on how to overcome that deficiency and be a pretend liberal :eusa_angel:
 

theDoctorisIn

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

Buy a hybrid. Become a vegetarian. Move to Marin County, or Brooklyn. Get a good paying, intellectual sort of job - like college professor or research scientist. Go to independent movies, and listen to indie music or world music. Go to protests, and donate money to union PACs. Empathize with poor people, and buy your half-caf soy latte at starbucks.

Or you could stop being a partisan asshole.
 

saveliberty

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Just parrot the talking points and pull the Democrat lever in the voting booth. Thinking is discouraged as it may result in noting the consequences of the party's actions. Paint alot of smiley faces on your fridge. Keep a pitcher of kool-aid toward the back.
 

Queen

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

Get your news from other sources besides FOX. Listen to NPR more often. Learn to seek the truth and think for yourself. Here are some of our important policies and political stances: Education is more important for our tax dollars to be spent on than war and prisons. Because if kids are educated they will be productive members of society and not end up in prison, which costs more in the long run anyway. War is all deficit spending so it's just ruining our country. Stop loving the fetus and hating the child. Promote children's health and welfare causes. Don't support asshole Republican congressmen who want to end school lunches and take away children's health care.

It's hard for a rightie to make this switch after years of letting others tell you what to think. But it's an honorable mission and I wish you good luck.
 
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Coyote

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Just parrot the talking points and pull the Democrat lever in the voting booth. Thinking is discouraged as it may result in noting the consequences of the party's actions. Paint alot of smiley faces on your fridge. Keep a pitcher of kool-aid toward the back.

He shouldn't have a problem with the transition then since that function is conveniently removed during the lobotomizing process required for the conservative wingnut model.
 

Queen

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Liberal = People over profits

Conservative = Profits over people

If you actually believe that, it is no wonder you are a moron.

You never actually have anything to say but to call people names.

I think it's a legitimate description. Here's why:

Liberals support unions which work to make sure the workplace is safe, the people make enough money to survive and have adequate health care to stay healthy. They care more about the people than the profit.

Conservatives are union busters and union busting is one of the reasons the 25 miners died recently, where was the union? The cons busted it. They care more about the profit than the people.

Now your turn, if you can do more than call people morons, give us an example of why we're wrong.
 

Zander

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Step 1 - have half of your brain sucked out by the same vacuum that they abort babies with.
Step 2 - Let emotions rule your every decision. Facts no longer matter, only "feelings".
Step 3 - do a lot of crying and whining. Practice saying things like "Bush lied", and "D Arth Cheney".
Step 4 - Bend over and prepare to get screwed. You're a professional victim now! Congrats!!
 
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Bfgrn

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

Crawl out from under the bed, then turn off Faux News...

The rest will take care of itself after the room is fumigated.
 

Zoom-boing

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I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

I need to learn how to do it right.

Take every ounce of common sense you possess and toss it out the window along with your morals and ethics. Oh wait, that describes politicians . . . .
 

rightwinger

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Liberal = People over profits

Conservative = Profits over people

If you actually believe that, it is no wonder you are a moron.

You never actually have anything to say but to call people names.

I think it's a legitimate description. Here's why:

Liberals support unions which work to make sure the workplace is safe, the people make enough money to survive and have adequate health care to stay healthy. They care more about the people than the profit.

Conservatives are union busters and union busting is one of the reasons the 25 miners died recently, where was the union? The cons busted it. They care more about the profit than the people.

Now your turn, if you can do more than call people morons, give us an example of why we're wrong.

Do you honestly expect California Girl to engage in intelligent, civil debate?

Good luck to you
 

CrusaderFrank

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1. Get a lobotomy. If you still feel the urge to be your own man, get a double lobotomy

2. In any choice, always choose "More gubbamint"

When the day comes that you'll sacrifice your parents and kids future to the Gubbamint, Congratulation! You're a Librul!
 

Avatar4321

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What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then ... we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." [JFK September 14, 1960]


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So what your saying is what we mean by liberal is conservative, then you are proud to be a liberal.

Id be proud in that case too.

What was JFK's tax policy again?
 

Avatar4321

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Liberal = People over profits

Conservative = Profits over people

There isnt a conflict between profits and people.

Both are good. Because the more people making profits the better off everyone is.

I don't particularly like attacking people's livelihood because they are successful.
 

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