Cheating?

[Amanda]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

 

[PoliticalChic]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

First of all, are you saying that she had an exclusive relationship with the one guy? Then, I agree with you, kissing is cheating.

 

[Toro]

Would your friend consider it cheating if her boyfriend was messing around with another woman like she is?

In a committed relationship, physical contact is cheating.

 

[Paulie]

If the guy assumes the relationship is exclusive, then of course it's cheating.

Why cheat though, if it isn't for sex? Seems pointless.

 

[Agnapostate]

Cheating. I would suggest that she not enter into exclusive relationships to begin with.

 

[random3434]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

She's just testing the waters with guy #2. She's not ready to give up guy #1 until she's sure guy #2 is a sure thing. Plus, if she's your age (18) I'm sure the thrill of it all is exciting for her.

Also, how would she like it if guy #1 was making out with another girl too? Ask her that. (If guy #1 thinks they have an exclusive relationship that is, if not then it's no big deal anyway!)

 

[Tuatara]

The definition of cheating is up to the individuals involved.

 

[sky dancer]

Hmm. If you have an agreement to be monogamous, and you make out with someone, you're technically cheating.

There's all kinds of mind games and justisfication that kicks in. It's like diet rationalizations about what calories count.

 

[DiveCon]

if the bf doesn't know about it, its cheating
its being deceitful

 

[Epsilon Delta]

The guy's getting cheated on, plain and simple. Sucks for him!

 

[Red Dawn]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

who cares what word your friend wants to use to describe it? That's just word-smithing.

Assuming one is in a monogamous relationship, any intimate physical contact is either cheating at worst, or decietful and innappropriate at best.

 

[Agnapostate]

She might not want to enter into such relationships to begin with.

 

[dilloduck]

The definition of cheating is up to the individuals involved.

Amen--each relationship needs to FIRST establish rules and boundries that they both agree on and are willing to adhere to. Everything is open for re-negotiation.

 

[editec]

The "cheating" started the moment the head games leading up to the kissing and beyond events took place.

The boy's betrayal started the moment the girl initiated or acquiesed to another person's intimate advances.

And you are this persons friend, why?

Don't you know that people who are disloyal to others will inevitably (as soon as it suits them, I mean) be disloyal to any and everyone else, too?

 

[Silence]

The "cheating" started the moment the head games leading up to the kissing and beyond events took place.

The boy's betrayal started the moment the girl initiated or acquiesed to another person's intimate advances.

And you are this persons friend, why?

Don't you know that people who are disloyal to others will inevitably (as soon as it suits them, I mean) be disloyal to any and everyone else, too?

you are a smart cookie editec!

you can cheat without physical contact.

your friend is cheating on boy #1 and if boy #2 knows about boy #1 she'll ultimately end up losing them both because boy #2 will never fully trust her if they enter into a long term relationship.

 

[007]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

Sounds like your friend is a product of clintonian thinking. She must have been listening when slick willie said a blow job wasn't sex. So hell, if giving head isn't sex, a silly little kiss can't be either.... right?

Bull. Kissing is a sexual, intimate act. She's cheating, plain and simple.

 

[glockmail]

I have a friend (really!) that is with one guy and seeing another on the side. She says it hasn't gone any farther than kissing, but to me anything you wouldn't do in front of your bf is cheating, and I know for sure kissing would be cheating to me.

So my question to all of you is what is cheating? She says as long as they don't actually have sex it's not cheating. What do you think?

She shouldn't be boinking a guy unless she is committed to marrying him, and if so, kissing a second guy would be considered cheating on the first. Best to keep her pants on for both guys and play the field all she wants otherwise.

 

[editec]

you are a smart cookie editec!

Life's experience makes us all slightly wiser fools, Silence.

Fidelity exists in our heads, not in our pants.

 

[Andrew2382]

whatever happened to

it's not cheating if you don't get caught


sheesh

 

[Steerpike]

I agree with editec and would question why you are friends with this person.