Bragging about your Kids (and Grandkids)

[DGS49]

I spent the weekend at a nephew's house on a lake, with many relatives, and friends of the host.

Two children, ages 8 and 6 were in attendance. Both kids were - to be blunt - a pain in the ass. Not being bad, actually, but just doing the kinds of things that kids do when they want to be the center of attention - and are obviously used to being the center of attention.

Over the course of the weekend, the parents and grandparents of these kids revealed that both have "problems" in school, but not the usual kinds of problems. Oh no, these kids have problems because they are JUST TOO BRIGHT for a normal classroom setting. Both have been tested and are absolute geniuses - but can't get along with their teachers or fellow students, apparently because of their overwhelming wonderfulness. The teachers (in this quasi-private, public school) are tolerant and accommodate the weirdness of the kids. One of them is allowed to wander around the halls of the school when she doesn't feel like participating in class.

Note to all parents: Your young kids may be "gifted," but nobody outside your IMMEDIATE family really gives a shit. Parents and grandparents are free to believe whatever they want about the kids, and to discuss it in privacy, but outsiders just see your "gifted" kids as weird and bothersome.

It is rude, boorish, and narcissistic to brag on your kids UNTIL THEY HAVE ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING! Tell me about it when they are accepted to Harvard or medical school, or when they make the all-state soccer team, or score a perfect score on one of the SAT's. I will share in your joy. But being the smartest kid in the Kindergarten class (actually claimed this weekend, for a kid who was held back a year!)...keep it to yourself.

 

[OldLady]

We do no favors to our children when we give them a "pass," over and over. They won't get one when they're out on their own. They need help learning how to deal with those lessons.

 

[DGS49]

Raising children used to be the process of molding them into good, considerate, productive, respectful citizens.

"We" are now so concerned about "inhibiting their growth" or "suppressing their creative instincts" or hurting their feelings, that we fail to socialize them to live successfully in the real world. Is it any wonder that adolescence now extends to many "children" in their 30's?

 

[OldLady]

My mom taught elementary school her whole career, last 15 years or so in kindergarten. That is where we learn to keep our bottom on the seat, to cooperate in a group and with a group, to learn the rules of school. I'm pretty sure she would have not allowed that foolishness in her classroom.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

The kids are acting the way they are because they are not being challenged at school. Holding back a bright and inquisitive child to the level of their peers only results in boredom, frustration and the sort of acting-out behavior seen here. From the kid's perspective, it's like "I showed you I could do this LONG ago, so why aren't we moving on to something more interesting"

 

[OldLady]

The kids are acting the way they are because they are not being challenged at school. Holding back a bright and inquisitive child to the level of their peers only results in boredom, frustration and the sort of acting-out behavior seen here. From the kid's perspective, it's like "I showed you I could do this LONG ago, so why aren't we moving on to something more interesting"

There are plenty of ways to address that while still helping students learn they are not immune from the rules.

 

[DGS49]

I sent my son to a reputable pre-school for two years before kindergarten. He basically knew everything they would teach in school for the first several months.

At a parent-teacher gathering in September of that year, a woman asked the principal about her son, who had not gone to pre-school. The principal assured her that by December, all the Kindergarten kids would be at the same level. (So why did I send my kid to pre-school?).

Also consider the giant Federal program called, "Operation Head Start." It was originally sold to the taxpayers on the theory that "poor" kids were being raised in a "culturally deprived" environment, and that's why they, to be blunt, "sucked" at school. If the Government provides them with a culturally-enriched environment for pre-Kindergarten, the problems will go away.

Didn't work. Total failure. Forty years later we now know for an absolute fact that by third grade, there is no difference in academic results between the kids who experienced Operation Head Start and those who did not. But as Ronaldus Maximus once said, "There is nothing so permanent as a temporary Government program." Head Start keeps getting funded, year after year, as though it were as successful as the TVA.