Boys Privates.. Girls interested

Lumpy 1

Diamond Member
Jun 19, 2009
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I thought you would all get a kick out of this article on abstinence, I suspect it's a little to late but what the heck.. it's funny.. yet serious...:lol:

The 10 things girls should know about them

"Take it from me, girls – there's no good reason to rush into S-E-X. That's why I hope these scientific facts help you choose abstinence, so you need never know the heartbreak of being trapped in a loveless marriage just because you drank too many margaritas one night and gave up your honey pot to a pushy young cokehead from a so-called 'good family.'" (Laura Bush)... ?

(sample)
#1 Unlike your girly privates, which are internal, boy privates are external. God knew that nobody wanted to see all our lady mess, so He pushed everything up inside you. What in tarnation He was thinking when he came up with that nasty, dangling, squishy flesh on boys beats the heck out of me, but I suspect it was so it would be easier for Him to keep an eye on what they're up to. Because trust me: that grotesque grab bag of horror and disappointment is always up to something, gals.

Boys' Private Parts: 10 Things Every Girl Should Know About Them - IRON HYMEN - Girls Abstinence-Only Education Coolness Program
 
I am so glad you're keeping us abreast of teen girls sexual mores Lumpster!

(Do you subscribe to Iron Hymen?)


Here is #2: :lol:

Boy privates are often said to resemble hot dogs, although if you ask me, the ones I've seen always called to mind something like those cute little Austrian cocktail weenies they sell 8 to a can. But I think famed author Lynne Cheney described the male unmentionable best when she recalled recoiling at "an old Frankenstein's monster bratwurst that looked like it had rolled under the couch for a month and got covered in dust bunnies and would make you spit up if you even so much as halfheartedly nibbled the tip of it."
 
The stuff that comes out of boys every time they use you has as many calories as seven whole pints of Häagen-Dazs. That's why all the girls who do "it" always get so fat and ugly and have that ulcerated skin that screams to everyone in church, "I am an insatiable slut!"

This explains a girl I used to know named Sally.
 
You pedophiles sicken me.

I am so glad you're keeping us abreast of teen girls sexual mores Lumpster!

(Do you subscribe to Iron Hymen?)


Here is #2: :lol:

Boy privates are often said to resemble hot dogs, although if you ask me, the ones I've seen always called to mind something like those cute little Austrian cocktail weenies they sell 8 to a can. But I think famed author Lynne Cheney described the male unmentionable best when she recalled recoiling at "an old Frankenstein's monster bratwurst that looked like it had rolled under the couch for a month and got covered in dust bunnies and would make you spit up if you even so much as halfheartedly nibbled the tip of it."
 
I thought you would all get a kick out of this article on abstinence, I suspect it's a little to late but what the heck.. it's funny.. yet serious...:lol:

The 10 things girls should know about them

"Take it from me, girls – there's no good reason to rush into S-E-X. That's why I hope these scientific facts help you choose abstinence, so you need never know the heartbreak of being trapped in a loveless marriage just because you drank too many margaritas one night and gave up your honey pot to a pushy young cokehead from a so-called 'good family.'" (Laura Bush)... ?

(sample)
#1 Unlike your girly privates, which are internal, boy privates are external. God knew that nobody wanted to see all our lady mess, so He pushed everything up inside you. What in tarnation He was thinking when he came up with that nasty, dangling, squishy flesh on boys beats the heck out of me, but I suspect it was so it would be easier for Him to keep an eye on what they're up to. Because trust me: that grotesque grab bag of horror and disappointment is always up to something, gals.

Boys' Private Parts: 10 Things Every Girl Should Know About Them - IRON HYMEN - Girls Abstinence-Only Education Coolness Program

:lol: The best thing for abstinence is wedding cake!

Interestingly, the Royal College of Medicine did a study of why married women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
 
I am so glad you're keeping us abreast of teen girls sexual mores Lumpster!

(Do you subscribe to Iron Hymen?)


Here is #2: :lol:

Boy privates are often said to resemble hot dogs, although if you ask me, the ones I've seen always called to mind something like those cute little Austrian cocktail weenies they sell 8 to a can. But I think famed author Lynne Cheney described the male unmentionable best when she recalled recoiling at "an old Frankenstein's monster bratwurst that looked like it had rolled under the couch for a month and got covered in dust bunnies and would make you spit up if you even so much as halfheartedly nibbled the tip of it."

Just Goggling around and came up with it.

Well.. I've met a few iron hymen's but decided not to subscribe...:eusa_angel:
 
I am so glad you're keeping us abreast of teen girls sexual mores Lumpster!

(Do you subscribe to Iron Hymen?)


Here is #2: :lol:

Boy privates are often said to resemble hot dogs, although if you ask me, the ones I've seen always called to mind something like those cute little Austrian cocktail weenies they sell 8 to a can. But I think famed author Lynne Cheney described the male unmentionable best when she recalled recoiling at "an old Frankenstein's monster bratwurst that looked like it had rolled under the couch for a month and got covered in dust bunnies and would make you spit up if you even so much as halfheartedly nibbled the tip of it."

Just Goggling around and came up with it.

Well.. I've met a few iron hymen's but decided not to subscribe...:eusa_angel:

Now I know why you want that sack of hammers you mentioned!
 
I thought you would all get a kick out of this article on abstinence, I suspect it's a little to late but what the heck.. it's funny.. yet serious...:lol:

The 10 things girls should know about them

"Take it from me, girls – there's no good reason to rush into S-E-X. That's why I hope these scientific facts help you choose abstinence, so you need never know the heartbreak of being trapped in a loveless marriage just because you drank too many margaritas one night and gave up your honey pot to a pushy young cokehead from a so-called 'good family.'" (Laura Bush)... ?

(sample)
#1 Unlike your girly privates, which are internal, boy privates are external. God knew that nobody wanted to see all our lady mess, so He pushed everything up inside you. What in tarnation He was thinking when he came up with that nasty, dangling, squishy flesh on boys beats the heck out of me, but I suspect it was so it would be easier for Him to keep an eye on what they're up to. Because trust me: that grotesque grab bag of horror and disappointment is always up to something, gals.

Boys' Private Parts: 10 Things Every Girl Should Know About Them - IRON HYMEN - Girls Abstinence-Only Education Coolness Program

:lol: The best thing for abstinence is wedding cake!

Interestingly, the Royal College of Medicine did a study of why married women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.


Many married woman also admit to occasional cravings for the Cream of Sum Yun Gai.
 
Sex just isn't selling like it used to, I guess...
 
When a boy's disgusting private goes inside of a girl's shameful unmentionable, there is a serious risk of it breaking off and causing excruciating pain while it travels throughout your body like a giant trichinosis worm.

------------

Talk about fear mongering. They want you to wait "until you get married", not "never get married".
 

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