Bill Clinton meets Jesus (joke)

[rightwinger]

bidum meets Jesus after death

Jesus: Off to Hell with you

bidum: What? Why?

Jesus: you know why

bidum: yeh... yeh, i guess I do.. can't lie to You, can I?

Jesus: You tried

bidum: Yeh... guess I tried to all my life.. I thought you would have more mercy..

Jesus: I have as much mercy as you did as president... toward the US military people left behind in Afghanistan .. toward the unborn

Bidum: It's getting very hot for some reason... How about I give you a million dollars?

ya know

Repeating a lame joke does not make it better

 

[BackAgain]

God: "You are going to hell Bill"

Bill: "Going"? Can you define the word going for us?"

LOL.

More trouble with verbs.

 

[BackAgain]

You would normally be correct about me going to Hell for saying that Jesus would say Fuk

But with 74 million Trump voters headed for Hell, there will be plenty of room for me

Meh. They’d make extra room in hell for a scumbag like you.

 

[notmyfault2020]

ya know

Repeating a lame joke does not make it better

But you repeatedly read them

ha ha...

 

[notmyfault2020]

kamala meets Jesus

Jesus: you have a disturbing cackle.. I mean: laugh

K: Yeh, but that's not a sin, right?

Jesus: Well... I guess not. But you've done worse things

K: Um... like what?!

Jesus: Like what? You ask me: Like what?!! You are in the Presence of God Himself and you ask that question? oh, that's right.. you're a lib. What do I expect?

K: Well, I guess You refer to my .. (gulp) always promoting abortion

Jesus: Now we're getting somewhere

K: Well, i repent of that

Jesus: Too late. You should have repented when it could have saved some childrens' lives

K: Well, send me back to Earth and I will... I dunno.. whisper in Joe's ears that we probably shouldn't push abortion anymore

Jesus: You didn't think to do that before now?

K: Um.. yeh, but I didn't think it was an important enough issue.. I mean we were dealing with.. Oh my.. such a disturbing thought: CLIMATE CHANGE, the worst danger the US faces..

Jesus: Off to Hell with you

K: What? You don't care about the endangered climate?

Jesus: Are you going to offer me a million dollars like all the other lefties have?

K (gulp): How about 2 million?

 

[notmyfault2020]

Fetterman meets Jesus

oh never mind

 

[Devils_Advocate]

God: "You are going to hell Bill"

Bill: "Going"? Can you define the word going for us?"

LOL.

How can he head to hell when he has been married to it for decades?

 

[BothWings]

Is that what MAGAs think is funny?

To answer your question, I am a Trump supporter and don't find it particularly funny.
Do all you woke liberal progressive liars make such shallow assumptions about people who support Trump? If so, you're doomed in 2024.

 

[BULLDOG]

To answer your question, I am a Trump supporter and don't find it particularly funny.
Do all you woke liberal progressive liars make such shallow assumptions about people who support Trump? If so, you're doomed in 2024.

It was pretty dumb, but then every other attempt at humor by a MAGA that I have seen is dumb. That Gutfeld idiot is a good example.

 

[BothWings]

It was pretty dumb, but then every other attempt at humor by a MAGA that I have seen is dumb. That Gutfeld idiot is a good example.

It's not humor anymore when it hits home, right?

 

[BULLDOG]

It's not humor anymore when it hits home, right?

It only hits home for the straw man they have built.

 

[BothWings]

It only hits home for the straw man they have built.

LoL! That's why so many libs become outraged and offended by the opinions of others. MAGA jokes aren't funny to libs because they know they've been pegged and someone else is enjoying it.

 

[BULLDOG]

LoL! That's why so many libs become outraged and offended by the opinions of others. MAGA jokes aren't funny to libs because they know they've been pegged and someone else is enjoying it.

Pegged? Hardly.

 

[BothWings]

Pegged? Hardly.

Exactly! And it will get harder still

 

[San Souci]

MAGA thinks slipping on a banana peel or pie in the face is funny

They really don’t have much of a concept of humor

Yes I do. I like The Three Stooges. Now THAT was humor.----But "The Honeymooners" was number one for real humor.

 

[Batcat]

OK

Name a Conservative Comedian

Greg Gutfeld.

With 2.5 Million Viewers, Fox News Channelâs âGutfeld!â Beats Every Show In Late Night TV

Greg Gutfeld can now claim the title as the most-watched man in late night television.

www.forbes.com

Something’s happening in late night. On Tuesday night, Fox News Channel’s Gutfeld! delivered a total audience of 2.5 million viewers, a staggering audience for a late-night show on cable, and the second biggest night in the history of Greg Gutfeld’s politics-and-comedy program.


With 2.494 million total viewers and 396,000 viewers in the key demographic group of adults 25-54, Gutfeld! beat not just everything else on cable, but the high-profile broadcast networks’ late night shows as well. CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was a close second with 2.1 million viewers and 375,000 viewers in the key demo, followed by NBC’s The Tonight Show(1.289 million viewers and 318,000 in the demo), and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live (1.285 million total viewers and 287,000 viewers in the key demo).

 

[rightwinger]

Bill Clinton meets Jesus

Jesus: This is so cool, I never thought I would meet you

 

[The Duke]

--thought I would share this with General.

I commented in another section of the forum on how amazing it is that u can get away with murder literally when you "have a name" in the US (not that I'm implying there is credible evidene this particular person murdered anyone..)

In any case, God is no respecter of persons so that name isn't going to get him anywhere with the Judge when he dies..


"But... but I am Bill Clinton! Do you know even know who I am?" says Bill to Jesus after death.

"It is you who do not know who I am" says Jesus

"You wouldn't dare send me to Hell!"

"You have sent yourself."

"No.. no.. I don't want to go. Isn't living with Hitlery.. I mean Hillary.. isn't that enough punishment to make up for all my sins of lying and making $$ off the taxpayers and.. well, that Broderick thing.. I mean, we're talking Hillary!"

"Well, I can kind of see your point--- but it doesn't exactly work that way"

"Um... Ok, how about I give you a million dollars?"


(Sorry, God, if you don't appreciate my little joke)

It's not bad, but I didn't laugh.

 

[notmyfault2020]

Greg Gutfeld.

With 2.5 Million Viewers, Fox News Channelâs âGutfeld!â Beats Every Show In Late Night TV

Greg Gutfeld can now claim the title as the most-watched man in late night television.

www.forbes.com

View attachment 717220

Something’s happening in late night. On Tuesday night, Fox News Channel’s Gutfeld! delivered a total audience of 2.5 million viewers, a staggering audience for a late-night show on cable, and the second biggest night in the history of Greg Gutfeld’s politics-and-comedy program.


With 2.494 million total viewers and 396,000 viewers in the key demographic group of adults 25-54, Gutfeld! beat not just everything else on cable, but the high-profile broadcast networks’ late night shows as well. CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was a close second with 2.1 million viewers and 375,000 viewers in the key demo, followed by NBC’s The Tonight Show(1.289 million viewers and 318,000 in the demo), and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live (1.285 million total viewers and 287,000 viewers in the key demo).

not a fan

and I wonder if he is very conservative.. If I got paid as much as he did, maybe I could pretend to be a liberal??

 

[notmyfault2020]

It's not bad, but I didn't laugh.

yeh, it's pretty serious stuff, actually.. people giving God the finger and sealing their fate for all eternity..

part of me doesn't think I should joke about such things.. the other part of me.. well... many a truth is said in jest..