Anything Goes Humor

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In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
 
A women goes into a shoe store to get some new shoes and the guy that was helping her try on shoes noticed she wasnt wearing any panties and had a short skirt on,
after several side takes up her skirt he just couldnt take it anymore and told her
honey I'd eat that pussy full of ice cream,,,

well needless to say she got mad and left,
when she got home she told her husband to go down and woop that son of a bitch,
the husband thought for a few seconds and finally said NO he aint gonna do it,,
she looked at him funny and said WHY NOT???

he said first off you got to many shoes already and didnt need more
2nd is that you shouldnt be going outside with out panties on,,,

and 3rd is any mother fucker that can eat that much ice cream I dont want to fuck with,,,
 

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