Another genie joke...

[Big Black Dog]

A young lady was walking down the beach and spotted a bottle laying in the sand. She picked it up but could not see through the glass to see what was inside the bottle so she opened the top of the bottle and took it off. Immediately, a genie appeared and like in all the other genie jokes, the genie granted the young lady three wishes. It was nearly sunset so she took the bottle home with her and placed it on her mantle. After a shower and some deep thought, she decided if she was smarter she could get a better job within her company and no longer be the mail room clerk. So, she took the bottle off of the mantle and rubbed it which immediately made the genie appear.

The genie asked, "Would you like to use your first wish?"

The young lady replied, "Yes. I would like to do that. I would like to be 10 times smarter than what I am right now."

The genie replied, "No problem." A flash of lightening and a loud boom followed and somehow the young lady felt smarter.

The next day being Monday, she went into work and while on her coffee break the company President stopped by the employee's lounge. The young lady gave the company President a remarkable suggestion that not only would save the company millions but it could be implemented at hardly any cost at all. Being impressed with the suggestion, the company President promoted the young lady to a Department Head. A very large raise followed the promotion.

A few weeks later the young lady was sitting around in her newly refurnished apartment and began to wonder about her second wish. She decided she would want to be 10 smarter than what she currently was. So, she rubbed the bottle and the genie appeared.

"I suppose you would like your second wish now?", asked the genie.

"Yes. I want to be 10 times smarter than what I am at this very moment.", the young lady said.

Again, a flash of lightening and a loud boom left the young lady feeling very smart indeed.

The next day at work was a Thursday and the day of the weekly Department Head meeting with the company President. During the course of the meeting, the young lady suggested getting rid of all the old company cars because every one of them had huge 8 piston motors that used a lot of gas. She suggested going to 4 piston motors and as a result the company would save over $300,000 a year in gas alone. The company President was impressed so he promoted her to a Vice-President within the company on the spot. Her rate of pay was tripled.

Everything was going along very well for the young lady. She had moved into a very fine new large home. Had purchased a flashy sports car and was the talk of the town on the social circuit. Life for her couldn't be better it seemed.

About a month later, she once again got the bottle off of the mantle in her new house and rubbed it to bring forth the genie. He appeared and reminded the young lady to use her wish wisely because it would be her last.

The young lady told the genie that life for her had improved greatly since first finding the bottle and using the two previous wishes to increase her intelligence 10 fold on each wish. For her last wish, the young lady told the genie, "I would like for you to make me 10 times smarter than I am right now."

The genie asked the young lady if she was absolutely sure that she wanted this wish. The young lady replied, "Yes. Please make me 10 times as wise as I am right at this moment."

There was a loud clap of thunder and a very bright flash. This time the genie turned the young lady into a MAN.

 

[Bootneck]

A guy goes into a bar and the barman couldn't help staring. The guy was huge and muscular, but had a tiny head the size of a grapefruit.
The guy says. "Don't worry, I've got used to people staring at me, but my head wasn't always like this. The barman says. "I am really sorry if I was staring. Can I ask what happened if it used to be different."
The big man says. "Well, not long ago I was on holiday in the Maldives. I was out on my early morning jog, when I came across a strange, multi coloured bottle on a remote part of the the beach. I picked it up and pulled out the stopper, there's a puff of smoke and the most beautiful, to die for girl stood before me, dressed in wispy see through clothing. She was a Genie of course and offered me one wish for setting her free. I could only think of one thing that I wanted.. and that was her. I was mad with lust. She told me that that was the one wish that she could not grant, it was forbidden.
I said to her.
"That's not being very grateful. After all, I have just freed you from that bottle. For fucks sake surely you can give me a little head!!"

 

[Big Black Dog]

lmao

 

[maike]

The first one's good