13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

[QuickHitCurepon]

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

Sharing people's joy is a great thing to do, but in my studies of sociology, I have found that it is impossible to glean parts of these strong happy emotions without also understanding that possibly, most people that become successful do not remain that way for long and often crash quickly. How can you feel those joys, while being blind to frequent outcomes of misery?

 

[Gracie]

Wow. I resemble those. A bunch of them.

 

[lakeview]

So liberals are mentally weak I see.

You shouldn't resent other people's success.

 

[gallantwarrior]

Bump.

 

[Spoonman]

Lets be clear shall we? of the 13 listed things the following all apply to Liberals or progressives...
1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 and 13.

The only one that applies to conservatives is 3.

Conservatives don't feel sorry for themselves?

Have you missed the recent elections?

we don't feel sorry for ourselves. we feel sorry for america

 

[Wolfsister77]

Good list. Some of those I am really good at. Some of those I need serious work on. But I'm saving it to reference later if needed. Thanks.

 

[Foxfyre]

This is a very nice topic and thread. Thanks for posting foxfire.

The points here are excellent and things to strive for. I like this "Feel the World Owes Them Anything" for example, even if it did chances of collecting on the are slim. There is nothing like earning one's own way to establish and further develop a healthy self esteem and emotional integrity when dealing issues in our everyday lives. It build character and a firm footing in our personal lives as well...

I've thought about that a lot and, like most things, I don't think we can attribute the syndome to any one thing. Parents overall now are far more affluent than my parents were when I was growing up or than my husband and I were when first started out. So we and our kids were raised in a world in which many things they would have loved to have had, we simply could not afford and knew we would have to work and save up to get them. And we and they were raised to take care of things, use them up, wear them out, before replacing them. And we and they were raised to choose between options available to them, because they knew they could only have one. That kind of thing.

But too many kids now are raised on 30-second sound bites, instant gratification, and in a society in which they are rarely if ever told no. And too many others are raised being told they are victims and they should be entitled to an education, a living wage, shelter, healthy food, transportation, child care, and even contraceptives and an abortion with absolutely no expectations of personal responsibility or accountability whatsoever. Something like that can get into a person's head and warp their whole value system.

And still others are being ignored and neglected by parents who are already screwed up. Society once took the kids away from such parents until the parents were ready and willing to provide what the child needed. Now the children are left with such parents and society pays the prent to neglect and ignore their kids while excusing the parents because they are 'poor'.

We once had a society that expected people to pull their own weight and everybody grew up knowing that their destiny was in their own hands and they looked to nobody else to provide it for them.

 

[Foxfyre]

I think as we get older we are all entitled to indulge in #3 a bit. Change takes energy. Not that I wouldn't be up for a bit of change, but I just no longer have the physical energy that it takes. I'm not altogether that a person changing residences 12 times in a year, and yes, I know people who have done this, is a sign of mental strength. I know some people who can't be satisfied anywhere. If you can't adjust then the change you engage in is not a plus.

I don't think that is quite what the author was getting at though. I don't think she was talking about moving or redecorating the house or even a personal makeover so to speak. Not change just to be changing.

No. #3 said, mentally strong people don't::

Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.​

To me, this goes hand in hand with #4, #5, AND #6. Especially #6, not fearing to take calculated risks. In what you, for instance, have shared with us here at USMB, you have taken the risk to make some changes in your life to deal with what you have to deal with, have given up some things you probably once enjoyed; have embraced or learned to do other things that you now enjoy. And despite the uncertainties, you demonstrate a strength that many people lack. I see it as a mental strength to ask and answer "how important is it" and know when NOT to do something is more important than doing it. And likewise taking calculated risks--not blind or foolish risks or putting other people at risk against their will but risks to try something that could fail, but also has a reasonable chance to succeed.

It's knowing that "we've never done it that way before" (at least in recent history) is not a good excuse for not doing it now. It's knowing that "we've always done it that way" is not a good excuse to keep doing it when it is obvious it is having more negative consequences than positive ones. It's a willingness to give up the comfortable and/or the status quo in order to do it better.

 

[wavingrl]

So liberals are mentally weak I see.

You shouldn't resent other people's success.

So true----and there is a 'but'--sigh--it takes effort. Lots of lessons in life. There are some people who succeed in ways that lack integrity--'the all that glitters is not gold' group.

too deep to get into perhaps. Having listened to Sean Hannity and others--those that have really used their talents, and helped others and enjoyed their life--some sort of whole people--no reason to 'hate' them.

I am working on my envy of Oprah---lol. 'You go girl'--one of the best things she ever said.

 

[Lipush]

Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that

I agree. To me humanism is partly the worship of self and intellect, worhship of the mind and its abilities rather than G-d. It tends not to be capable or willing to admit to imperfections or admit to being flawed. If I have the choice between spiritual strength and mental strength I'm choosing spiritual every time because G-d can carry me through anything where as leaning upon my own abilities ( even mental strength ) has it's limits. Spiritual strength is where the power to overcome is at. Anyone can grow in spiritual strength - not only the alpha personalities.... lol. Happy Channukah, Lipush! I hope you have a beautiful, peaceful new year. - Jeri

I would say that mentally strong people develop some sort of spiritual beliefs?

Spiritual belief has so mane levels, you'll have to be more specific

 

[Lipush]

Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that

I agree. To me humanism is partly the worship of self and intellect, worhship of the mind and its abilities rather than G-d. It tends not to be capable or willing to admit to imperfections or admit to being flawed. If I have the choice between spiritual strength and mental strength I'm choosing spiritual every time because G-d can carry me through anything where as leaning upon my own abilities ( even mental strength ) has it's limits. Spiritual strength is where the power to overcome is at. Anyone can grow in spiritual strength - not only the alpha personalities.... lol. Happy Channukah, Lipush! I hope you have a beautiful, peaceful new year. - Jeri

Thank you! may you and all the friends have a wonderful Christmas.

What you say is beautiful and very nice. I think self appreciation goes hand in hand with all of that. to accept oneself with the flaws.

Thinking more of it, personally speaking, since I was society rejected as a child I developed some sort of 'fear of people'. It's really hard to explain, but I guess the fear is constantly of how other people see you. The fear of saying something stupid, or look weird, being constantly quiet when others speak instead of trying and make friends. I can say it influenced my life a lot.

so I took a debate course where I face that problem in the most direct way. I feel I'm doing something good, so it makes me feel that whoever does something, anything, to face a fear, no matter what it is, is strong. because it's much easier to try and evade the inconvenience than face it

 

[Lipush]

I'll toss this into the stew. just because--lol

60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think

16.Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17.Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18.If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20.Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
21.True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22.While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23.Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24.You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26.When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27.Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28.There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

number 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25 are codes to live by

 

[wavingrl]

I'll toss this into the stew. just because--lol

60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think

16.Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17.Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18.If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20.Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
21.True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22.While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23.Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24.You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26.When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27.Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28.There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

number 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25 are codes to live by

I should be cross stitching #23.

as for #24--there is another side of that--at least for me--if you know the mistakes and can never forgive yourself--sigh. Sometimes others perceive this to be 'denial'. Someone else will have to find a quote that addresses this.

eta: looks like Jeremiah was 'on it'--Accepting yourself with flaws
Really Lipush said this--Jeremiah says similar things. Anyone that says things like this--my eternal thanks. :>

<What you say is beautiful and very nice. I think self appreciation goes hand in hand with all of that. to accept oneself with the flaws.

Thinking more of it, personally speaking, since I was society rejected as a child I developed some sort of 'fear of people'. It's really hard to explain, but I guess the fear is constantly of how other people see you. The fear of saying something stupid, or look weird, being constantly quiet when others speak instead of trying and make friends. I can say it influenced my life a lot.

so I took a debate course where I face that problem in the most direct way. I feel I'm doing something good, so it makes me feel that whoever does something, anything, to face a fear, no matter what it is, is strong. because it's much easier to try and evade the inconvenience than face it >
__________________



I like #27. and #28.

#27--Whitney Houston--One moment in Time--she sang some memorable songs. If she never quite 'fixed herself'--the ideas were good.

 

[Lipush]

I'll toss this into the stew. just because--lol

60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think

16.Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17.Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18.If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20.Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
21.True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22.While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23.Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24.You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26.When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27.Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28.There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

number 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25 are codes to live by

I should be cross stitching #23.

as for #24--there is another side of that--at least for me--if you know the mistakes and can never forgive yourself--sigh. Sometimes others perceive this to be 'denial'. Someone else will have to find a quote that addresses this.

I like #27. and #28.

Yes, self forgiveness it's something which is hard to deal with. sometimes it's hard to achieve it, sometimes it's just hard to accept that life is heading towards a direction you don't like, and things are not going your way.

Self forgiveness is part of letting go of sad chapters of your life, and in order to move on, you sometimes have to first let go of something that pulls you in so much it practically defines you you are. And self forgiveness is required to put that certain chapter behind. But it takes time.

 

[wavingrl]

number 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25 are codes to live by

I should be cross stitching #23.

as for #24--there is another side of that--at least for me--if you know the mistakes and can never forgive yourself--sigh. Sometimes others perceive this to be 'denial'. Someone else will have to find a quote that addresses this.

I like #27. and #28.

Yes, self forgiveness it's something which is hard to deal with. sometimes it's hard to achieve it, sometimes it's just hard to accept that life is heading towards a direction you don't like, and things are not going your way.

Self forgiveness is part of letting go of sad chapters of your life, and in order to move on, you sometimes have to first let go of something that pulls you in so much it practically defines you you are. And self forgiveness is required to put that certain chapter behind. But it takes time.

so true. To stay focused ----a full time job for some. Speaking for myself.

Einstein had some good insights.

<Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun. ... In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. .... Albert Einstein>

<See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. ... They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is .... Albert Einstein>

<The faults of a superior person are like the sun and moon. They have their faults, and everyone sees them; they change and everyone looks up to them.
Confucius >
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/sun.html#1gZJymLaUIb5OydZ.99

 

[mudwhistle]

B

 

[Mr. H.]

There are a number of forums I suppose this could fit in, but I found the concepts intriguing whether we accept them philosophically at a personal level as the author of the list intended, or whether we put a political spin on it, especially with #9, #12, and #13. I was just curious if anybody else would find the list interesting and whether anybody would disagree with any of the concepts listed.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, public speaker and writer, recently published 13 things that mentally strong people don't do.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid - Forbes

14. Masturbate.

 

[BDBoop]

There are a number of forums I suppose this could fit in, but I found the concepts intriguing whether we accept them philosophically at a personal level as the author of the list intended, or whether we put a political spin on it, especially with #9, #12, and #13. I was just curious if anybody else would find the list interesting and whether anybody would disagree with any of the concepts listed.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, public speaker and writer, recently published 13 things that mentally strong people don't do.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid - Forbes

Excellent article. I'm mostly doing well, have a few I am still working on (which is a positive in-and-of itself).

 

[BDBoop]

I find it ironic that so many people are pointing at others as opposed to what would be logical - checking oneself.

 

[Esmeralda]

I am one who doesn't believe there is any one menu or formula for how to lead your life or to try to be the best person you can be. All of those points in the OP are general and vague, rather ambiguous, and definitely can be interpreted in different ways, depending the the individual reading it and how that individual understands it. I wouldn't measure either my self or my life by something like that.