13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

[mudwhistle]

I find it ironic that so many people are pointing at others as opposed to what would be logical - checking oneself.

Yes, still, income inequality is a big problem.

So being resentful of others is very important to some.

 

[Ringel05]

There are a number of forums I suppose this could fit in, but I found the concepts intriguing whether we accept them philosophically at a personal level as the author of the list intended, or whether we put a political spin on it, especially with #9, #12, and #13. I was just curious if anybody else would find the list interesting and whether anybody would disagree with any of the concepts listed.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, public speaker and writer, recently published 13 things that mentally strong people don't do.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid - Forbes

In reality even mentally (and emotionally) strong people indulge in one or more of those from time to time. The only ones who never fail at any one of those "traits" fall into a completely different category and are almost always considered a danger to society.........

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Many of those items come with age.
While I wouldn't argue with the list, as with any list, there are missing items. Specifically Wasting time and effort on bad people.
This applies both professionally and personally. Some people, actually a lot of people, suck and are not worth your time and effort.

 

[Spiderman]

Why is it you people have to boil everything down to liberal and conservative?

Are you utterly incapable of thinking beyond your us and them paradigms?

Apply that list to individuals and you'll see that it can apply to many people regardless of their political ideology.

Or better yet evaluate yourself on each point and try to address your own weaknesses before trying to label everyone else.

 

[mudwhistle]

Why is it you people have to boil everything down to liberal and conservative?

Are you utterly incapable of thinking beyond your us and them paradigms?

Apply that list to individuals and you'll see that it can apply to many people regardless of their political ideology.

Or better yet evaluate yourself on each point and try to address your own weaknesses before trying to label everyone else.

Yeah, and start with yourself before you start in on everyone else.........

Wait a minute, this is a circular argument......

You can't be critical of anyone else's comments unless you've been critical of yourself first, but who but yourself knows this?


Fuck it.......

 

[Ringel05]

Why is it you people have to boil everything down to liberal and conservative?

Are you utterly incapable of thinking beyond your us and them paradigms?

Apply that list to individuals and you'll see that it can apply to many people regardless of their political ideology.

Or better yet evaluate yourself on each point and try to address your own weaknesses before trying to label everyone else.

There are those who can't separate their sociopolitical ideology from reality, it's the only thing that defines them hence dominating all aspects of their lives. Oh well.......

 

[mudwhistle]

Why is it you people have to boil everything down to liberal and conservative?

Are you utterly incapable of thinking beyond your us and them paradigms?

Apply that list to individuals and you'll see that it can apply to many people regardless of their political ideology.

Or better yet evaluate yourself on each point and try to address your own weaknesses before trying to label everyone else.

There are those who can't separate their sociopolitical ideology from reality, it's the only thing that defines them hence dominating all aspects of their lives. Oh well.......

Quit pointing fingers.........

 

[editec]

Ah yes...the mythology of the strong silent non complaining citizen.

the MASTERS just love this myth about how one is a GOOD person.


Ironically the society that really drove home this myth as an ideal was STALIN'S USSR.

Alexey Stakhanov - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Ringel05]

Ah yes...the mythology of the strong silent non complaining citizen.

the MASTERS just love this myth about how one is a GOOD person.


Ironically the society that really drove home this myth as an ideal was STALIN'S USSR.

Alexey Stakhanov - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sorry ed, you missed the concept by a few hundred light years. The type that list describes are not the sheep.

 

[Ringel05]

Why is it you people have to boil everything down to liberal and conservative?

Are you utterly incapable of thinking beyond your us and them paradigms?

Apply that list to individuals and you'll see that it can apply to many people regardless of their political ideology.

Or better yet evaluate yourself on each point and try to address your own weaknesses before trying to label everyone else.

There are those who can't separate their sociopolitical ideology from reality, it's the only thing that defines them hence dominating all aspects of their lives. Oh well.......

Quit pointing fingers.........

Did I strike a nerve?

 

[Darkwind]

1, 2, 4, and 6 are My weak points I think....

 

[Darkwind]

Ah yes...the mythology of the strong silent non complaining citizen.

the MASTERS just love this myth about how one is a GOOD person.


Ironically the society that really drove home this myth as an ideal was STALIN'S USSR.

Alexey Stakhanov - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Numbers 2 and 5 not your strong suit, eh?

 

[wavingrl]

I am one who doesn't believe there is any one menu or formula for how to lead your life or to try to be the best person you can be. All of those points in the OP are general and vague, rather ambiguous, and definitely can be interpreted in different ways, depending the the individual reading it and how that individual understands it. I wouldn't measure either my self or my life by something like that.

it is easier for me to think of 'good examples'

Rachel Ray is one of mine. I haven't 'studied' her--know her entire life--but clearly--she doesn't agonize over things--or her persona on TV doesn't.

If there is horrifying news of the dark side of Rachel Ray--I don't want to know, frt.

 

[Darkwind]

I am one who doesn't believe there is any one menu or formula for how to lead your life or to try to be the best person you can be. All of those points in the OP are general and vague, rather ambiguous, and definitely can be interpreted in different ways, depending the the individual reading it and how that individual understands it. I wouldn't measure either my self or my life by something like that.

it is easier for me to think of 'good examples'

Rachel Ray is one of mine. I haven't 'studied' her--know her entire life--but clearly--she doesn't agonize over things--or her persona on TV doesn't.

If there is horrifying news of the dark side of Rachel Ray--I don't want to know, frt.

Oh, I don't know. I'd probably read about her dark side. Nothing wrong with being on the dark side. You should come on over. We have cookies.

 

[wavingrl]

I am one who doesn't believe there is any one menu or formula for how to lead your life or to try to be the best person you can be. All of those points in the OP are general and vague, rather ambiguous, and definitely can be interpreted in different ways, depending the the individual reading it and how that individual understands it. I wouldn't measure either my self or my life by something like that.

it is easier for me to think of 'good examples'

Rachel Ray is one of mine. I haven't 'studied' her--know her entire life--but clearly--she doesn't agonize over things--or her persona on TV doesn't.

If there is horrifying news of the dark side of Rachel Ray--I don't want to know, frt.

Oh, I don't know. I'd probably read about her dark side. Nothing wrong with being on the dark side. You should come on over. We have cookies.

lol--if Rachel is there we won't starve--have a few lol's.

taking life seriously--mentally strong people are too smart for that.

 

[Foxfyre]

It has been interesting to watch who applied the list to themselves and who applied it to others. I agree with those who acknowledge that any or all of us can at times fall short of the defnitions of 'mentally strong', but nobody seems to be disagreeing with the concepts in the list. Well, one or two, suggesed the concepts are 'too general' or 'too vague', but I don't see it that way and, based on all of ya'lls comments, I think most here don't either.

Of course, in all such things, it is far more useful to look at ourselves personally, which is healthy, rather than point at the other guy which is not so healthy. And the majority posting seem to be doing that.

As for politicizing the concepts, some did immediately do that and others have alluded to it. And I did leave open that option in the OP because this is, after all, mostly a political discussion board, and I think there are things we as groups, regardless of political party or ideology, can learn from the list as well as things individual can learn from the list.

What if, for instance, our elected leaders would take to heart #8? If we as a people would? Could accept that the way we keep trying to do it--the way it has always been done at least in recent history is not working and/or is causing more problems than it is helping. And were willing to stop doing it that way rather than stick to the assigned talking points and doggedly defending it? What if we as a society did that? How much better would we be as a people, as a society, as a nation?

 

[Darkwind]

it is easier for me to think of 'good examples'

Rachel Ray is one of mine. I haven't 'studied' her--know her entire life--but clearly--she doesn't agonize over things--or her persona on TV doesn't.

If there is horrifying news of the dark side of Rachel Ray--I don't want to know, frt.

Oh, I don't know. I'd probably read about her dark side. Nothing wrong with being on the dark side. You should come on over. We have cookies.

lol--if Rachel is there we won't starve--have a few lol's.

taking life seriously--mentally strong people are too smart for that.

Yes, well.....You get serious about those things that require you to get serious...Otherwise, its laugh, love, eat and panty raids.....ah...I mean...travel...yeah...travel....

 

[Esmeralda]

I am one who doesn't believe there is any one menu or formula for how to lead your life or to try to be the best person you can be. All of those points in the OP are general and vague, rather ambiguous, and definitely can be interpreted in different ways, depending the the individual reading it and how that individual understands it. I wouldn't measure either my self or my life by something like that.

it is easier for me to think of 'good examples'

Rachel Ray is one of mine. I haven't 'studied' her--know her entire life--but clearly--she doesn't agonize over things--or her persona on TV doesn't.

If there is horrifying news of the dark side of Rachel Ray--I don't want to know, frt.

Oh, I don't know. I'd probably read about her dark side. Nothing wrong with being on the dark side. You should come on over. We have cookies.

LOL

 

[wavingrl]

Rachel Ray--sounds good. There are those who don't care for her--plenty of online discussions about that.

She figured out what she wanted to do and did it. Doesn't call herself a 'chef'--she likes to cook. Participated in a recent Iron Chef cook off with Mario Batali--they lost. Couldn't compete with Bobby Flay. Everybody seemed to have a good time. Certain they enjoy what they are doing.

Rachael Ray: What You Can Learn From Her Rise To Fame - Forbes

<Who are some of the people who most influenced you in your career and what lessons did you learn from them?

My mom. My mom worked in restaurants for 60 years, and what I learned from her is a lot. But if I had to boil it down, take your work very seriously, but don&#8217;t take yourself too seriously. Work harder than everyone else and never complain about it. Don&#8217;t go to bed if you&#8217;re not proud of the product of your day; stay awake until you are. She never had a bedtime for us as kids. If we wanted to get up and do something productive &#8211; if we were drawing, or playing with an erector set and building a bridge or something, or we wanted to read &#8211; we could not be in bed. You could get out of bed and do that thing until you were exhausted.
>

<If someone didn&#8217;t know who you were, how would you describe what you do for your career to them?

I cook and I chat. That&#8217;s what I do. I love to write recipes, but basically, if you had to put it in a nutshell, I cook and I chat.
>

<What bonds us as a family is that belief that quality of life matters even if you can&#8217;t have balance, and it shouldn&#8217;t be determined or predetermined by social status or paycheck. Everyone should have accessibility to good food, decent pots and pans, a sense of adventure. Whether or not you happen to become very wealthy in life shouldn&#8217;t determine the quality of your life. I hope that&#8217;s something people get generally about our brand, but maybe not something that they realize clearly about our brand. We do go to work with more than just good intentions and a giggle. We go to work with very specific goals to help everybody else feel good about anything that they touch in our world; that they will be successful at it.>

 

[Baruch Menachem]

I'll toss this into the stew. just because--lol

60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think

16.Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17.Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18.If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20.Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
21.True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22.While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23.Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24.You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26.When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27.Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28.There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

number 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25 are codes to live by

I like #28 especialy