13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Foxfyre

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There are a number of forums I suppose this could fit in, but I found the concepts intriguing whether we accept them philosophically at a personal level as the author of the list intended, or whether we put a political spin on it, especially with #9, #12, and #13. I was just curious if anybody else would find the list interesting and whether anybody would disagree with any of the concepts listed.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, public speaker and writer, recently published 13 things that mentally strong people don't do.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid - Forbes
 

RetiredGySgt

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Lets be clear shall we? of the 13 listed things the following all apply to Liberals or progressives...
1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 and 13.

The only one that applies to conservatives is 3.
 

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This is a very nice topic and thread. Thanks for posting foxfire.

The points here are excellent and things to strive for. I like this "Feel the World Owes Them Anything" for example, even if it did chances of collecting on the are slim. There is nothing like earning one's own way to establish and further develop a healthy self esteem and emotional integrity when dealing issues in our everyday lives. It build character and a firm footing in our personal lives as well...
 

rightwinger

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Lets be clear shall we? of the 13 listed things the following all apply to Liberals or progressives...
1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 and 13.

The only one that applies to conservatives is 3.
Conservatives don't feel sorry for themselves?

Have you missed the recent elections?
 
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Foxfyre

Foxfyre

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Lets be clear shall we? of the 13 listed things the following all apply to Liberals or progressives...
1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 and 13.

The only one that applies to conservatives is 3.
Conservatives don't feel sorry for themselves?

Have you missed the recent elections?
Some conservatives probably do because it is a trait common among humankind. It is not true based on the last several elections however. Conservatives are doing their dangdest to identify what went wrong in those elections so they don't repeat the same mistakes.

Somebody suggested #3 applies to conservatives--as the term applies in most of Europe that might be correct. It is certainly not true of the modern American conservative who is usually quite ready to try something different when something isnt working. It is the modern day American progressive/leftist/liberal who seems much more likely to hang on doggedly to the status quo, even after it becomes obvious that it isnt working, just because it is the politically correct thing to do. Obamacare is a classic example.

The one trait I think many conservatives ARE likely to be guilty of, however, is #6. Too many do back off from a calculated risk because they are afraid it will cost them power or prestige or influence or personal wealth.
 

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Lets be clear shall we? of the 13 listed things the following all apply to Liberals or progressives...
1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12 and 13.

The only one that applies to conservatives is 3.
That is interesting. I don't think you took away from 3 what you should have.

Conservatives are not afraid of change.


I can show you multiple instances in which a progressive is as intractable on change as any conservative.

Both sides seem to paint the notion that resistance to altering or abandoning morality is somehow protecting old institutions.

I'll give one example.

Roe vs Wade.

It is an institution and law that progressives will defend to the bitter end. They will not, for any reason, drop the fight to prevent change to it.

It can be said that they are 'conservative' because they fear change.

Or;

Maybe the entire notion of change should be stepped back from and some self examination by both parties on the strength of accepting change, while holding onto cherished values.

That is all I'm going to say with regard to this list as it applies to politics.

You see, I see this list as something that actually transcends politics and should be reflected upon and examined for each persons individual life.



@Foxfyre I'll have to think on these items some before giving a reasoned reply.
 
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Darkwind

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Oh, and with regard to Amy Morin's picture...


Girlfriend.....that hair.....I mean..........damn......



:eusa_whistle:
 

Sunshine

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I think as we get older we are all entitled to indulge in #3 a bit. Change takes energy. Not that I wouldn't be up for a bit of change, but I just no longer have the physical energy that it takes. I'm not altogether that a person changing residences 12 times in a year, and yes, I know people who have done this, is a sign of mental strength. I know some people who can't be satisfied anywhere. If you can't adjust then the change you engage in is not a plus.
 

AquaAthena

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I am happy to report I avoid the first 12 but need to continue working on #13. I have loved change all my life because of #13. :lol:

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
 
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wavingrl

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this is a good topic.

at different points in my life I had some success with each of these.

I lol--now--but got lost in the proverbial forest and could not see the trees.

'Perfectionism', perhaps. I would add that to the list--mentally strong people don't set impossible standards for themselves--understand in a realistic way what can be achieved?

Maybe that is included somewhere.

#9 seems to be interfering in major ways for many people.

Possibly always has and always will.
 

Lipush

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Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that:)
 

wavingrl

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Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that:)
That is a good one.

some progress has been made in that area, I'd say.

Growing up in the cookie cutter 50's and 60's--well--it took quite a while to accept that I was somehow 'different'--tried my best to 'be like everyone else'--would not stop--finally it became not only impossible but a futile dream.

70's 'Free to Be --You and Me'--not a bad idea.

and now--'Being Different' is completely approved.

~~~
Think for yourself should go on the list somewhere. The People Pleasing, not certain of the #, includes that --but it is so important that I would list it separately.
 
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Book of Jeremiah

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Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that:)
I agree. To me humanism is partly the worship of self and intellect, worhship of the mind and its abilities rather than G-d. It tends not to be capable or willing to admit to imperfections or admit to being flawed. If I have the choice between spiritual strength and mental strength I'm choosing spiritual every time because G-d can carry me through anything where as leaning upon my own abilities ( even mental strength ) has it's limits. Spiritual strength is where the power to overcome is at. Anyone can grow in spiritual strength - not only the alpha personalities.... lol. Happy Channukah, Lipush! I hope you have a beautiful, peaceful new year. - Jeri
 
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wavingrl

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Accepting and admitting you're not perfect suits a strong person.

knowing you're sometimes gonna fail but finding the strength to stand up again after that:)
I agree. To me humanism is partly the worship of self and intellect, worhship of the mind and its abilities rather than G-d. It tends not to be capable or willing to admit to imperfections or admit to being flawed. If I have the choice between spiritual strength and mental strength I'm choosing spiritual every time because G-d can carry me through anything where as leaning upon my own abilities ( even mental strength ) has it's limits. Spiritual strength is where the power to overcome is at. Anyone can grow in spiritual strength - not only the alpha personalities.... lol. Happy Channukah, Lipush! I hope you have a beautiful, peaceful new year. - Jeri
I would say that mentally strong people develop some sort of spiritual beliefs?
 

JOSweetHeart

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Thank you for sharing this. I must be stronger than I have ever given my own self credit for. :) :) :)

God bless you always!!! :) :) :)

Holly
 

wavingrl

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I'll toss this into the stew. just because--lol

60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think

16.Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17.Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18.If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20.Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
21.True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22.While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23.Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24.You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26.When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27.Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28.There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.
 
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