Would you marry a single mum/dad?

[Old Man Grumbles]

I did marry a single mom, with a daughter. We've been together for 12 years now.

 

[jwoodie]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

The best situation is if the man doesn't have any children of his own. The worst situation is to have additional children with the woman, since this makes the previous children feel worthless.

 

[Likkmee]

I would be hard-pressed to marry again, much less to a man with children in the home. The family dynamics would be a struggle unless I had been seeing the man for a year or more and understood and approved of his relationship with his children and his relationship with me and his children and their relationship with me. These marriages can work out but I wouldn't be a good candidate as a step-mom as I love living without a partner, period. I am "free to be"and never lonely. I am total and complete without baggage for the life I live and love. There is never anger and any stress just comes from work but because I am in a job I love, that stress is good stress. A stressful day generally means a successful day and makes for a great and satisfying evening. I was born to be independent but didn't always know it. I thought I was born to be "married with children." Someone asked me once if I ever got lonely and I answered them bluntly and honestly, "the only times I have ever been lonely is when I have been married."

The High Failure Rate of Second and Third Marriages

Excerpt: Ironically, the presence of children in second and third marriages, if they are from previous marriages, can cause problems and lead to tension. Having to adjust to your spouse's children and his/her relationship with them is often difficult for couples. Inevitably rivalries and arguments arise, making this a constant area of conflict. In these cases, the children can be a destabilizing factor in a second or third marriage.

Yeah, I won't marry again. Or at least I don't see myself marrying again. I have a wonderful partner. She and I fit together amazingly well. The only way we will marry is if there is a significant financial gain in our retirement.

Capital gains advantage

 

[Dogmaphobe]

Would I marry a woman with grandchildren?

Possibly.

after 30 years of being married., I'm happy to be on my own.' though

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

 

[WinterBorn]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

 

[WinterBorn]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

First of all, since I am not a Christian, what the bible says about marriage is irrelevant to me. I do not see women as subordinate to me.

Second of all, moving into an established household and family, and demanding that you are now the head of the household and will be running things, is a sure way to create the anger you described. The fact that you can pee standing up does not necessarily make you the best at running the household. Expecting a woman, who has been running the household and raising a child, to suddenly take a backseat and let you make the decisions is simply insanity.

Third of all, the mother should look to make sure her child is taken care of, first and foremost. Yes, the mother and father are one unit, and should parent accordingly. But the mother must look to protect and care for her child as a first priority. I am not talking about coddling a 16 year old. I am talking about making sure the child is safe, fed and healthy. The best way to look at it is, if there is only enough food for one, who gets it? The man? If there is only one life jacket and the boat is sinking, who wears it?

Fourth of all, this is the kind of thing that should be discussed before getting married. I would think a minister would know that.

Fifth of all, if you want to look at causes of divorce, you might examine the expectation that men should rule the roost and women should just accept that. Couple that with the tendency to cheat on a spouse and you have all the expectation you need.

Sixth of all, being an alpha male is not about forcing submission and demanding respect. It is about earning that respect and understanding the needs of all in the "pack".

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

First of all, since I am not a Christian, what the bible says about marriage is irrelevant to me. I do not see women as subordinate to me.

Second of all, moving into an established household and family, and demanding that you are now the head of the household and will be running things, is a sure way to create the anger you described. The fact that you can pee standing up does not necessarily make you the best at running the household. Expecting a woman, who has been running the household and raising a child, to suddenly take a backseat and let you make the decisions is simply insanity.

Third of all, the mother should look to make sure her child is taken care of, first and foremost. Yes, the mother and father are one unit, and should parent accordingly. But the mother must look to protect and care for her child as a first priority. I am not talking about coddling a 16 year old. I am talking about making sure the child is safe, fed and healthy. The best way to look at it is, if there is only enough food for one, who gets it? The man? If there is only one life jacket and the boat is sinking, who wears it?

Fourth of all, this is the kind of thing that should be discussed before getting married. I would think a minister would know that.

Fifth of all, if you want to look at causes of divorce, you might examine the expectation that men should rule the roost and women should just accept that. Couple that with the tendency to cheat on a spouse and you have all the expectation you need.

Sixth of all, being an alpha male is not about forcing submission and demanding respect. It is about earning that respect and understanding the needs of all in the "pack".

Unfortunately you live in a society that was founded on Christian principles. We have different cultural expectations.

Again, the husband and wife act as ONE UNIT. If the father (even if he is not the biological father) is not fully committed to those children, then a marriage does not exist.

In our culture, whether you like it or not, the father is the head of the house. IF he is not doing his job, he deserves NO RESPECT. Furthermore, in my grandfather's day, if a man did not take care of his family, he generally got an unpleasant visit from his neighbors.

When my wife's son moved into my home, I told him that what I say goes. I pay the bills, make sure a roof was over his head, and food in his stomach. In return there were some ground rules: no smoking, drinking, illegal drugs, or unlawful acts permitted. No loud noises after a certain hour of the night. Either go to school or go to work. No laying on your ass playing video games just because mommy can afford it.

If children live in your home - whether you are the biological parent or not, you have a duty to provide for them, nurture them and treat them the way you would want your own biological children treated. If you don't do that, those children don't need to be in your house.

In your society, the absent fathers and the beta males has made for an entire generation of males that are being replaced by foreigners because they lack in every trait I've mentioned to you in my last two posts. One reality you cannot escape: In both Christian and Islamic theology the man IS the head of the house. While America was founded on Christian principles, I see the Muslims changing our culture more and more with each passing year. So, who rules the roost isn't going to change in mine or your lifetimes.

 

[WinterBorn]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

First of all, since I am not a Christian, what the bible says about marriage is irrelevant to me. I do not see women as subordinate to me.

Second of all, moving into an established household and family, and demanding that you are now the head of the household and will be running things, is a sure way to create the anger you described. The fact that you can pee standing up does not necessarily make you the best at running the household. Expecting a woman, who has been running the household and raising a child, to suddenly take a backseat and let you make the decisions is simply insanity.

Third of all, the mother should look to make sure her child is taken care of, first and foremost. Yes, the mother and father are one unit, and should parent accordingly. But the mother must look to protect and care for her child as a first priority. I am not talking about coddling a 16 year old. I am talking about making sure the child is safe, fed and healthy. The best way to look at it is, if there is only enough food for one, who gets it? The man? If there is only one life jacket and the boat is sinking, who wears it?

Fourth of all, this is the kind of thing that should be discussed before getting married. I would think a minister would know that.

Fifth of all, if you want to look at causes of divorce, you might examine the expectation that men should rule the roost and women should just accept that. Couple that with the tendency to cheat on a spouse and you have all the expectation you need.

Sixth of all, being an alpha male is not about forcing submission and demanding respect. It is about earning that respect and understanding the needs of all in the "pack".

Unfortunately you live in a society that was founded on Christian principles. We have different cultural expectations.

Again, the husband and wife act as ONE UNIT. If the father (even if he is not the biological father) is not fully committed to those children, then a marriage does not exist.

In our culture, whether you like it or not, the father is the head of the house. IF he is not doing his job, he deserves NO RESPECT. Furthermore, in my grandfather's day, if a man did not take care of his family, he generally got an unpleasant visit from his neighbors.

When my wife's son moved into my home, I told him that what I say goes. I pay the bills, make sure a roof was over his head, and food in his stomach. In return there were some ground rules: no smoking, drinking, illegal drugs, or unlawful acts permitted. No loud noises after a certain hour of the night. Either go to school or go to work. No laying on your ass playing video games just because mommy can afford it.

If children live in your home - whether you are the biological parent or not, you have a duty to provide for them, nurture them and treat them the way you would want your own biological children treated. If you don't do that, those children don't need to be in your house.

In your society, the absent fathers and the beta males has made for an entire generation of males that are being replaced by foreigners because they lack in every trait I've mentioned to you in my last two posts. One reality you cannot escape: In both Christian and Islamic theology the man IS the head of the house. While America was founded on Christian principles, I see the Muslims changing our culture more and more with each passing year. So, who rules the roost isn't going to change in mine or your lifetimes.

The society I live in is based on numerous cultural influences. The fact that Christianity was the dominant force does not mean it was right. Forcing women into subjugation based solely on genitalia is ridiculous.

We agree on several things. Both parents are responsible for the care & protection of the child. Raise them right and the other issues are taken care of. I raised 3 children in my first marriage. They were teens when their mother and I divorced. Unlike typical divorces, our children still came first after we split. The kids were not subject to the tug-of-war so divorced parents create. And our kids turned out to be well adjusted and productive members of society.

The relationship between my 2nd wife and her ex was the opposite. And it caused a great deal of grief for our daughter. And yes, she acted out because of some of those issues. That did not change the fact that we was loved and protected in our house. Today she is a college graduate with a career. She has done little or no experimenting with drugs (except a little pot, as she told me). She graduated high school with honors. She has had a few long term relationships, but was never a partygirl. She is well adjusted and doing great.

The proof is in the pudding.

As far as the alpha male stuff, whichever is better at a given thing should be the one in charge of it in a marriage. My current partner is very organized. I am not. So she handles the organization and calendar for us. We don't fight over it. I am not less of a man because I recognize her talents.
A couple of questions for you concerning you being the man in charge and the wife being subservient.
1) If you want sex and she doesn't, does your alpha male, head of the household status hold sway?

2) If she works outside the home, is it a problem if she makes more money than you?

3) Is she allowed to have male friends?

 

[Porter Rockwell]

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

First of all, since I am not a Christian, what the bible says about marriage is irrelevant to me. I do not see women as subordinate to me.

Second of all, moving into an established household and family, and demanding that you are now the head of the household and will be running things, is a sure way to create the anger you described. The fact that you can pee standing up does not necessarily make you the best at running the household. Expecting a woman, who has been running the household and raising a child, to suddenly take a backseat and let you make the decisions is simply insanity.

Third of all, the mother should look to make sure her child is taken care of, first and foremost. Yes, the mother and father are one unit, and should parent accordingly. But the mother must look to protect and care for her child as a first priority. I am not talking about coddling a 16 year old. I am talking about making sure the child is safe, fed and healthy. The best way to look at it is, if there is only enough food for one, who gets it? The man? If there is only one life jacket and the boat is sinking, who wears it?

Fourth of all, this is the kind of thing that should be discussed before getting married. I would think a minister would know that.

Fifth of all, if you want to look at causes of divorce, you might examine the expectation that men should rule the roost and women should just accept that. Couple that with the tendency to cheat on a spouse and you have all the expectation you need.

Sixth of all, being an alpha male is not about forcing submission and demanding respect. It is about earning that respect and understanding the needs of all in the "pack".

Unfortunately you live in a society that was founded on Christian principles. We have different cultural expectations.

Again, the husband and wife act as ONE UNIT. If the father (even if he is not the biological father) is not fully committed to those children, then a marriage does not exist.

In our culture, whether you like it or not, the father is the head of the house. IF he is not doing his job, he deserves NO RESPECT. Furthermore, in my grandfather's day, if a man did not take care of his family, he generally got an unpleasant visit from his neighbors.

When my wife's son moved into my home, I told him that what I say goes. I pay the bills, make sure a roof was over his head, and food in his stomach. In return there were some ground rules: no smoking, drinking, illegal drugs, or unlawful acts permitted. No loud noises after a certain hour of the night. Either go to school or go to work. No laying on your ass playing video games just because mommy can afford it.

If children live in your home - whether you are the biological parent or not, you have a duty to provide for them, nurture them and treat them the way you would want your own biological children treated. If you don't do that, those children don't need to be in your house.

In your society, the absent fathers and the beta males has made for an entire generation of males that are being replaced by foreigners because they lack in every trait I've mentioned to you in my last two posts. One reality you cannot escape: In both Christian and Islamic theology the man IS the head of the house. While America was founded on Christian principles, I see the Muslims changing our culture more and more with each passing year. So, who rules the roost isn't going to change in mine or your lifetimes.

The society I live in is based on numerous cultural influences. The fact that Christianity was the dominant force does not mean it was right. Forcing women into subjugation based solely on genitalia is ridiculous.

We agree on several things. Both parents are responsible for the care & protection of the child. Raise them right and the other issues are taken care of. I raised 3 children in my first marriage. They were teens when their mother and I divorced. Unlike typical divorces, our children still came first after we split. The kids were not subject to the tug-of-war so divorced parents create. And our kids turned out to be well adjusted and productive members of society.

The relationship between my 2nd wife and her ex was the opposite. And it caused a great deal of grief for our daughter. And yes, she acted out because of some of those issues. That did not change the fact that we was loved and protected in our house. Today she is a college graduate with a career. She has done little or no experimenting with drugs (except a little pot, as she told me). She graduated high school with honors. She has had a few long term relationships, but was never a partygirl. She is well adjusted and doing great.

The proof is in the pudding.

As far as the alpha male stuff, whichever is better at a given thing should be the one in charge of it in a marriage. My current partner is very organized. I am not. So she handles the organization and calendar for us. We don't fight over it. I am not less of a man because I recognize her talents.
A couple of questions for you concerning you being the man in charge and the wife being subservient.
1) If you want sex and she doesn't, does your alpha male, head of the household status hold sway?

2) If she works outside the home, is it a problem if she makes more money than you?

3) Is she allowed to have male friends?

I can see you love to argue. The fact that America was founded on Christian principles does not make it wrong. If you look objectively at when this country prospered the most, it was when the nation revered God the most.

1) Forcing your wife to have sex with you is rape. If with-holding sex is a continual thing, it is grounds for divorce

2) Personally, my wife makes more money than me. Is it a problem for me? Not really. OTOH, my wife and I had an argument that went into yesterday. I have good credit and she doesn't. She wants a new car and I refused to co-sign as doing so reduces my ability to borrow money since I'm responsible for a $500 a month car payment.

I had bought a fixer upper to flip. Without my line of credit, I've got a pig in a poke. Now, had my wife worked with me to get that place on the market, she would have enough today to pay cash for the car. She believes the way you do. In my opinion, it wasn't a sound decision on her part to be half married

3) I think your third question is one that couples should have a discussion about BEFORE they say I do. If you do a little premarital counseling, it might help the couple decide if they really want to be married to each other. Unfortunately, that is only true IF both parties are honest with themselves and their counselor.

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Yes, and at my age I would not find one without a kid, so I have to accept the reality.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Yes, and at my age I would not find one without a kid, so I have to accept the reality.

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

 

[Bruce_T_Laney]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Yes, and at my age I would not find one without a kid, so I have to accept the reality.

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

Actually that is sound advice.

It is cheaper for a high end prostitute than marrying someone that clean you out in divorce.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Yes, and at my age I would not find one without a kid, so I have to accept the reality.

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

Actually that is sound advice.

It is cheaper for a high end prostitute than marrying someone that clean you out in divorce.

Yep. And the statistics are there. Roughly 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. I have started doing Christian counseling for those anticipating marriage. By the time couples come to their third session (if they make it that far), half of the second timers don't get married. Premarital counseling with someone hard core like me weeds out the short term marriages.

When you start asking them questions about how they feel about abortion, finances and how they will be decided, relationships and potential problems with children, relationships with the in laws, having to potentially move, who controls the finances when one of the two loses their job, political issues (everything from capital punishment to women's rights issues), etc. all that glamour and newness wears off rather quickly.

 

[WinterBorn]

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

First of all, since I am not a Christian, what the bible says about marriage is irrelevant to me. I do not see women as subordinate to me.

Second of all, moving into an established household and family, and demanding that you are now the head of the household and will be running things, is a sure way to create the anger you described. The fact that you can pee standing up does not necessarily make you the best at running the household. Expecting a woman, who has been running the household and raising a child, to suddenly take a backseat and let you make the decisions is simply insanity.

Third of all, the mother should look to make sure her child is taken care of, first and foremost. Yes, the mother and father are one unit, and should parent accordingly. But the mother must look to protect and care for her child as a first priority. I am not talking about coddling a 16 year old. I am talking about making sure the child is safe, fed and healthy. The best way to look at it is, if there is only enough food for one, who gets it? The man? If there is only one life jacket and the boat is sinking, who wears it?

Fourth of all, this is the kind of thing that should be discussed before getting married. I would think a minister would know that.

Fifth of all, if you want to look at causes of divorce, you might examine the expectation that men should rule the roost and women should just accept that. Couple that with the tendency to cheat on a spouse and you have all the expectation you need.

Sixth of all, being an alpha male is not about forcing submission and demanding respect. It is about earning that respect and understanding the needs of all in the "pack".

Unfortunately you live in a society that was founded on Christian principles. We have different cultural expectations.

Again, the husband and wife act as ONE UNIT. If the father (even if he is not the biological father) is not fully committed to those children, then a marriage does not exist.

In our culture, whether you like it or not, the father is the head of the house. IF he is not doing his job, he deserves NO RESPECT. Furthermore, in my grandfather's day, if a man did not take care of his family, he generally got an unpleasant visit from his neighbors.

When my wife's son moved into my home, I told him that what I say goes. I pay the bills, make sure a roof was over his head, and food in his stomach. In return there were some ground rules: no smoking, drinking, illegal drugs, or unlawful acts permitted. No loud noises after a certain hour of the night. Either go to school or go to work. No laying on your ass playing video games just because mommy can afford it.

If children live in your home - whether you are the biological parent or not, you have a duty to provide for them, nurture them and treat them the way you would want your own biological children treated. If you don't do that, those children don't need to be in your house.

In your society, the absent fathers and the beta males has made for an entire generation of males that are being replaced by foreigners because they lack in every trait I've mentioned to you in my last two posts. One reality you cannot escape: In both Christian and Islamic theology the man IS the head of the house. While America was founded on Christian principles, I see the Muslims changing our culture more and more with each passing year. So, who rules the roost isn't going to change in mine or your lifetimes.

The society I live in is based on numerous cultural influences. The fact that Christianity was the dominant force does not mean it was right. Forcing women into subjugation based solely on genitalia is ridiculous.

We agree on several things. Both parents are responsible for the care & protection of the child. Raise them right and the other issues are taken care of. I raised 3 children in my first marriage. They were teens when their mother and I divorced. Unlike typical divorces, our children still came first after we split. The kids were not subject to the tug-of-war so divorced parents create. And our kids turned out to be well adjusted and productive members of society.

The relationship between my 2nd wife and her ex was the opposite. And it caused a great deal of grief for our daughter. And yes, she acted out because of some of those issues. That did not change the fact that we was loved and protected in our house. Today she is a college graduate with a career. She has done little or no experimenting with drugs (except a little pot, as she told me). She graduated high school with honors. She has had a few long term relationships, but was never a partygirl. She is well adjusted and doing great.

The proof is in the pudding.

As far as the alpha male stuff, whichever is better at a given thing should be the one in charge of it in a marriage. My current partner is very organized. I am not. So she handles the organization and calendar for us. We don't fight over it. I am not less of a man because I recognize her talents.
A couple of questions for you concerning you being the man in charge and the wife being subservient.
1) If you want sex and she doesn't, does your alpha male, head of the household status hold sway?

2) If she works outside the home, is it a problem if she makes more money than you?

3) Is she allowed to have male friends?

I can see you love to argue. The fact that America was founded on Christian principles does not make it wrong. If you look objectively at when this country prospered the most, it was when the nation revered God the most.

1) Forcing your wife to have sex with you is rape. If with-holding sex is a continual thing, it is grounds for divorce

2) Personally, my wife makes more money than me. Is it a problem for me? Not really. OTOH, my wife and I had an argument that went into yesterday. I have good credit and she doesn't. She wants a new car and I refused to co-sign as doing so reduces my ability to borrow money since I'm responsible for a $500 a month car payment.

I had bought a fixer upper to flip. Without my line of credit, I've got a pig in a poke. Now, had my wife worked with me to get that place on the market, she would have enough today to pay cash for the car. She believes the way you do. In my opinion, it wasn't a sound decision on her part to be half married

3) I think your third question is one that couples should have a discussion about BEFORE they say I do. If you do a little premarital counseling, it might help the couple decide if they really want to be married to each other. Unfortunately, that is only true IF both parties are honest with themselves and their counselor.

I love to make my point.

The fact that something was always done that way does not make it right.

I do not see a connection between when we prospered and belief in God. I certainly do not believe that God cares about nations over people.

 

[Kaykan]

then she breaks up with me.

Color me surprised, Maryanne.

 

[Kaykan]

Would I marry a woman with grandchildren?

I know a 45-year-old single man who did just that.
It's been two years now, and they seem to still be on their honeymoon.

 

[Marion Morrison]

then she breaks up with me.

Color me surprised, Maryanne.

Cuck says what?

 

[Kaykan]

I usually prefer women without children but not because I think they are whores or something but because children who are not your own often end up rebelling against you and not accepting you as their father, they will say "You cant tell me anything you are not my father" but there are exceptions. I would maybe marry a woman with child.

Here is an answer from a minister and I'll not hold back:

There is no way in HELL I'd marry a woman with kids again. Been there done that. As fate would have it, I got in an argument over that very issue tonight and I see divorce on the horizon.

Today, women think their children should come first. I've tried it twice and both times the kids would give me that you ain't my father song and dance. Kids aren't stupid. They play the couple for all it's worth and the man loses every single time. My current wife has a son that has figured out how to drop out of school, live on food stamps and other government aid while mommy handles chauffeuring his sorry ass all over the county and doing his laundry and paying his medical and dental bills.

He's so lazy that I kicked him out of the house because he wouldn't look for a job. He spent 8 months living in a tent a few miles down the road. My wife found him a room and within six months he's gotten kicked out. He's going to be living in a tent at the end of this month... except that mommy would rather join him than have him look for a freaking job. DON'T DO IT.

The mothers SHOULD put their kids first. But the mothers should also be parents not doormats.

The first time I was told "You aren't my real father" I made sure they understood, I am not their father but I am their Dad.

Being a father is biology. Being a Dad is a relationship. There will be times when it is hard. But then, if it is your biological child it will be just as hard.

You are 100 percent WRONG on this issue. Regardless of whether this is your first marriage or your fourth or fifth, a marriage is a very special union. Ephesians, chapter 5 admonishes Christians:

"22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

The man is the head of a relationship and he must run his house as Christ would run his house. Instead,mothers venerate their children and most of them continue to put their previous familial relationships (mother, father, brother, sisters, etc.) above the husband. Husbands seek gratification in worldly things like weed, ball games, booze, video games, etc., etc. We have absent fathers and mothers who treat their children like infants. It is not uncommon to see men living in mommy's house in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond and they have no more education, maturity, skill sets, or initiative than a 14 year old.

There are not many alpha males among the current U.S. population and it is especially true of whites. Because mommy treated her children like they were her world, males become feminine, dependent on mommy, unable to take on healthy relationships themselves. Most marriages in this country end in divorce.

When a child grows up, they need to learn that mommy and daddy are ONE UNIT. That one unit loves them unconditionally and both parents are required to show that. The children are taught proper love and how to respect so that when they are older, they move out and build families of their own. The notion that the children come before that one unit that sustains the children is 100 percent wrong and is one of the leading factors not only in divorce, but in having middle age men living in mommy's basement with no education, no initiative and not a damn clue as how to be in any relationship except the one with mommy.

I didn't realize that this is the bible channel.