Why are my balls getting wet in the toilet?

[Concerned American]

Thanks. Have you seen those new underwear that hold your nut sack nice and tidy?

modify a jock strap.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Thanks. Have you seen those new underwear that hold your nut sack nice and tidy?

Yeah, with the long haired dude talking about his balls and lying in a hammock? I have though about getting a pair to see how they do.

 

[the watcher]

I'm pretty sure we could make a country music movie out of this, We would need the trailer park boys, Dolly Parton, and maybe Tom Cruise, but I think it could raise money for awareness. I am a 20 year zipperdick survivor, and these things are not funny to the victims.

 

[Concerned American]

I'm pretty sure we could make a country music movie out of this, We would need the trailer park boys, Dolly Parton, and maybe Tom Cruise, but I think it could raise money for awareness. I am a 20 year zipperdick survivor, and these things are not funny to the victims.

Zipper dick? I was on duty one night in Danang--our office was right next door to casualty reporting--when raucous laughter rang out from next door. I went to see what their "duty officer" was laughing about and he told me they had just gotten a report of a medevac that had slammed his penis in the door of a six by. LOL, how does that happen? The guy must have been hung like a horse. What was it doing outside his pants in the first place?

 

[Leo123]

I appreciate all the replies, especially the witty ones. But this is becoming an issue for me. Seriously. When I drop a deuce on one of these days when my boys are hanging low I have to lower myself to the bowel without sitting down to do my business so they don't get wet. I really do not want my lads floating around in the same bowl as my turds.

Lower the water level in your toilet?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Lower the water level in your toilet?

Can I do that? Hmm.. I guess I can tinker with the the stuff in the tank. That may work.

 

[Leo123]

Another idea...Raise those bad boys up!!

https://www.wayfair.com/Essential-Medical-Supply--Raised-Toilet-Seat-B5081-L1819-K~CSEN1038.html?refid=MX79165010507925-CSEN1038&device=c&ptid=4582764494300263&targetid=pla-4582764494300263&channel=BingPLA&network=s&query=toilet%20booster%20seat&msclkid=ebf7c2b94fbf1fe8556da79653e6df7b&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=WF.P.US.G.All%20Products%20(SC)&utm_term=4582764494300263&utm_content=All%20Products

 

[bodecea]

I sit down to do a bm. Before anything starts happening I sometimes feel a cool wet sensation on the bottom of my sacks. Clearly, my nuts are hitting the water in the bowel. I have to lean forward and raise up on the seat a little to keep them out of the water (and what is about to enter the water). It happens at home and at my office. It does not happen all the time, but it happens. It has never happened to me in the past. It started a few months ago and is becoming a more frequent occurrence.

WTF is happening to me? I am 52 and, of course, notice a lot of not so desirable things happening to me due to age. Are my sacks getting bigger? Are they, for whatever reason, drooping? Are the too full and the weight it pulling them down? I don't want to ask anyone in person. I figure that asking anonymously online would be ok.

Because you need to unplug your toilet (water up to the rim is a big clue)

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Because you need to unplug your toilet (water up to the rim is a big clue)

Don’t project your shortcomings onto me, Alopecea. You are probably hung like a flea.

 

[Cellblock2429]

I sit down to do a bm. Before anything starts happening I sometimes feel a cool wet sensation on the bottom of my sacks. Clearly, my nuts are hitting the water in the bowel. I have to lean forward and raise up on the seat a little to keep them out of the water (and what is about to enter the water). It happens at home and at my office. It does not happen all the time, but it happens. It has never happened to me in the past. It started a few months ago and is becoming a more frequent occurrence.

WTF is happening to me? I am 52 and, of course, notice a lot of not so desirable things happening to me due to age. Are my sacks getting bigger? Are they, for whatever reason, drooping? Are the too full and the weight it pulling them down? I don't want to ask anyone in person. I figure that asking anonymously online would be ok.

/—-/ All those years using the Electrolux as a ——- well uh—— you know—— has stretched the old sack out. Dip it in ice water for an hour every night until it shrinks. 6 months should do it. Keep us posted.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

/—-/ All those years using the Electrolux as a ——- well uh—— you know—— has stretched the old sack out. Dip it in ice water for an hour every night until it shrinks. 6 months should do it. Keep us posted.

Dyson, actually. I like the hurricane suction!

 

[Cellblock2429]

Dyson, actually. I like the hurricane suction!

/——/ In case anyone thinks this is a new problem for us guys.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

reminds me of johnny knocksville's grandpa character

 

[Lastamender]

I know there was an outbreak in South Park one year

View attachment 844403

Buffalo soldier.

 

[the watcher]

The Soggy Bottom Boys sang of the struggle,

 

[braalian]

Just like old women get saggy boobs….

Gravity always wins in the end.

 

[expat500]

Why does my husband sit down to urinate?

There is an old joke. Two young males go into a washroom, one a student at Harvard, the other a student at Podunk State. After they use the urinals the Podunk State guy starts to walk out, and the Harvard guy says, with a snobbish upper class sneer “At Harvard we wash our hands after urinating.” The other guy says “At Podunk State we don’t piss on our hands.”

But he is wrong. Tiny unseen droplets go all over the place, even if 99.9% go where aimed.

 

[Woodznutz]

I appreciate all the replies, especially the witty ones. But this is becoming an issue for me. Seriously. When I drop a deuce on one of these days when my boys are hanging low I have to lower myself to the bowel without sitting down to do my business so they don't get wet. I really do not want my lads floating around in the same bowl as my turds.

Before you sit down pour a bucket of water into the toilet to drain it. Then add just enough water back to cover your poop. That should do the trick.

 

[Woodznutz]

Why does my husband sit down to urinate?

There is an old joke. Two young males go into a washroom, one a student at Harvard, the other a student at Podunk State. After they use the urinals the Podunk State guy starts to walk out, and the Harvard guy says, with a snobbish upper class sneer “At Harvard we wash our hands after urinating.” The other guy says “At Podunk State we don’t piss on our hands.”

But he is wrong. Tiny unseen droplets go all over the place, even if 99.9% go where aimed.

If you sit you don't splash piss all over the place (your wife will thank you). Easier on your back as well.

 

[Woodznutz]

I'm pretty sure we could make a country music movie out of this, We would need the trailer park boys, Dolly Parton, and maybe Tom Cruise, but I think it could raise money for awareness. I am a 20 year zipperdick survivor, and these things are not funny to the victims.

I did that once. EEEOOOOWCHHH!!!