As for the "72 virgins" thing:
Most Muslims believe that they'll have the company of houri after the day of judgement. It's not limited to martyrs, or men. The number "72" is dubious, and the "virgin" part is a mistranslation.
So what you are saying is that the woman jihadist did not get 72 virgins?
No, even if the Qu'ran got it right, Muslims don't get to go to heaven until the day of Judgement, so she won't get her "virgins" until the world ends. That's probably the root of the ban on cremation, come to think of it.