Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Weatherman2020, Sep 3, 2019.

  1. Weatherman2020
    Offline

    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    50,076
    Thanks Received:
    9,825
    Trophy Points:
    2,100
    Location:
    Left Coast, Classified
    Ratings:
    +62,061
    BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.

    According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.

    "We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."

    "It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."

    Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.

    "Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.

    Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
  2. Third Party
    Offline

    Third Party Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2019
    Messages:
    4,840
    Thanks Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    150
    Ratings:
    +2,445
    Maybe they can sell parts but not gas?
     
  3. JoeMoma
    Online

    JoeMoma Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2014
    Messages:
    13,812
    Thanks Received:
    2,115
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Ratings:
    +11,988
    Half way through reading the OP I decided to check which forum this thread is in.
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
  4. Dan Stubbs
    Offline

    Dan Stubbs FORGET ---- HELL

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Messages:
    7,065
    Thanks Received:
    1,005
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Some where in the Deep South.
    Ratings:
    +5,506
    Now that is really funny and lightened up my day...Thank you several time over.
     
  5. candycorn
    Offline

    candycorn Alis volat propriis

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Messages:
    55,177
    Thanks Received:
    6,251
    Trophy Points:
    1,830
    Ratings:
    +23,617
    Don’t be stupid….Oh wait, you’ve got to be yourself.
     
  6. JoeMoma
    Online

    JoeMoma Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2014
    Messages:
    13,812
    Thanks Received:
    2,115
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Ratings:
    +11,988
    I bought my car at walmart, one part at a time.
     
  7. westwall
    Online

    westwall Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2010
    Messages:
    59,278
    Thanks Received:
    12,848
    Trophy Points:
    2,180
    Location:
    Nevada
    Ratings:
    +45,695





    look who the dummy is! The moron who can't understand humor! That would be you! Moron!
     
  8. Dekster
    Offline

    Dekster Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    5,897
    Thanks Received:
    627
    Trophy Points:
    255
    Ratings:
    +3,407
    Other than batteries and air freshners and floormats, our Walmart doesn't sell auto parts.
     
  9. Bruce_T_Laney
    Offline

    Bruce_T_Laney Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2014
    Messages:
    28,608
    Thanks Received:
    3,590
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Hell
    Ratings:
    +23,497
    I did the same damn thing!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  10. Bruce_T_Laney
    Offline

    Bruce_T_Laney Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2014
    Messages:
    28,608
    Thanks Received:
    3,590
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Location:
    Hell
    Ratings:
    +23,497
    Well the Super one down the road from us sells filters for oil and air, bulbs, batteries, oil, tires and so much more...
     

Share This Page