Need advice: Nephew comes out gay to mom with emal utube. What a mess.

[Kooshdakhaa]

And if your sister is a fundamentalist Christian, ask her this...

What would Jesus do?

That ought to shut her up. And I'm not being sarcastic, I mean that sincerely.

What would Jesus do?

 

[Sunni Man]

I am looking for a way to break up the conflict between mother and son. If my sister as a fundamentalist Christian will talk with a minister of the Episcopaleon Church, (they support gays rights, and have gay ministers), then she is transparent and wanting to resolve this problem. If she refuses, she becomes the "bad guy."

Why should you sister want to talk to a Episcopal pastor who supports the perverted homo lifestyle?

Find her a Baptist preacher if you want be fair and let her talk to him. ..

 

[Luddly Neddite]

And if your sister is a fundamentalist Christian, ask her this...

What would Jesus do?

That ought to shut her up. And I'm not being sarcastic, I mean that sincerely.

What would Jesus do?

Bingo.

Good for Beachboy for taking the kid in and a pox on his parents who should be loving and accepting of him, as is rather than whatever the screwy fundie pov is.

Beachboy, its not up to you to heal this family and anything you try will most certainly backfire on you. I think you should stay out of it. Further, its the nutty fundi you're enabling. The kid will find his way. He's gay or he's not and right now he needs to know that, either way, he's loved.

As for the usual homophobic sickos - Shut up. Its none of your business.

One more point for Beachboy ... About not letting them share a room/bed. I'm not saying you should or should not but I wonder ... If he were bring a girl home, would you be willing for them to share a room/bed?

 

[Beachboy]

So parents disown their son for who he is? So what if he puts up a silly and mildly tasteless video. He probably won't believe it, but I'm sure he is better off without them until they grow up. And if he is staying with someone who is helping him out, they don't need to be bringing "sex partners" into the house for sleepovers. That would be disrespectful. In fact, while he is there, if he had any class, he would be doing dishes, taking out the garbage and anything else that would be "helpful". You "earn" help, you don't "expect" it.

holy Shit!......is that really you Dean?.....you actually said something worth while.....and you did not even bring up how his folks MUST be Republicans....Gulf Clap.....

It is difficult at this point to know if my sister is just blowing off steam because she discovered her son is gay. All this has been going on for several weeks, so there is a lot of pain here. While the relationship between mother and son is the key issue here, my nephew did sent that video via email to her closest friends, minister, doctor, and has given her public humiliation that given her perspective is earth shaking. At the same time she is making this thing "all about her."

Gotta go looks like may wife and I qre about to have an arguements about this later...........................

 

[Beachboy]

Sorry about that. You know Sunday is the only day my wife and I have together without interruptions, and this gay business is causing problems. My wife was really in a mood when I was on earlier. She let me have it, and I walked out of the house. In essence she said I had my sister on a pedestal, and that she was not the same friend I knew in high school. While losing a child ten years ago was sad, it is no excuse for her closed minded thoughts about her son.

Frankly, I did not know what to say, and I was upset. Not my usually tactic to walk out of the house. I stopped into a bar and ordered a martini, (hell, I have not had a drink for five years, let alone at 2pm). And, thanks to those geniuses up in Sacramento, if I want to smoke I have to leave my drink and smoke outside like a teenager sneaking a butt.

After the martini I remembered that today was the day for the man to come by and show us plantation shutter blinds for the dining room. It was a special deal to do it on a Sunday. So, I called my wife like nothing happened, (our usual approach to stupid arguments), and told her I would be home for the shutter blind man.

 

[Beachboy]

You know, damn it, I am angry with everyone. My wife has wanted plantation shutter blinds for a long time. Our dining room gets too hot in the late afternoon so it is an uncomfortable place to eat supper. We have wanted to replace the drapes for something better insulated for some time.

The plantation shutter blind man could make the blinds operate on motors with a timer that would open the blinds automatically in the morning, and close them before the late afternoon sun while we were at work. The house would be cooler when we got home. It is small thing, not important in the scheme of the current family problems, but now does not seem like a good time to spend $2,700 on motorized blinds when I could be picking up the cost of my nephews college education this fall. At least we can buy the blinds that could be converted to motorized later.

So, let's see what the price is I have paid today just today because my sisters twenty year old wants to suck some....... make love differently than most of us.

Sunday, only day off with my wife, ruined by argument. Check. Smoking and drinking alcohol after quitting years ago. Check. Blood pressure going up due to people who can not solve their own problems. Check. Solving family problems, that are not mine, on my day off. Check. Falling into the role of "head of the family" after my father because my brother has now weaseled out of it. Check. Selecting new blinds, an experience my wife had been looking forward to together, dampened. Check. A small, fun, motorized practical gimmick out of the picture because I can not afford it due to family members will not act like adults. Check. Not enjoying my internet experience at USMB because of other people and their problems. Check.

Martini's and Marlboros are
not part of the solution, here.​

 

[Beachboy]

And if your sister is a fundamentalist Christian, ask her this...

What would Jesus do?

That ought to shut her up. And I'm not being sarcastic, I mean that sincerely.

What would Jesus do?

I am fairly sure I will not get a direct answer. My sister is a fundamentalist, and some brand of Pentecost. I asked her once about Adam and Eve. I asked if they were the first people, and their sons were Cain and Able, where did their wives come from? The answer was that their preacher has his own take on that called "Christ-o-rama." Christ-o-rama is the miracle that answers questions about all the loose end details in the Bible. It is part of faith. Thank you for your helpful post.

 

[Beachboy]

I am looking for a way to break up the conflict between mother and son. If my sister as a fundamentalist Christian will talk with a minister of the Episcopaleon Church, (they support gays rights, and have gay ministers), then she is transparent and wanting to resolve this problem. If she refuses, she becomes the "bad guy."

Why should you sister want to talk to a Episcopal pastor who supports the perverted homo lifestyle?

Find her a Baptist preacher if you want be fair and let her talk to him. ..

Well, you have hit the nail on the head. If I send a minister whose doctrine is Anti-GLBTQ, my nephew will never accept the results. But, if a Neutral/Pro GLBTQ minister talks with my sister they may find some common ground in the Bible. Remember my goal is to keep a family together here, and I am in uncharted waters.

A friend I know has suggest the Interfaith Alliance which was partially sponsored by Walter Cronkite to bring familys of faith back together on the gay issues. That is my plan "B." If they can get through that the next step might be a group called P-Flag, Parents and Friends of Gays. It is one step at a time here.

Thank you for your suggestion. I will keep the idea of a Baptist in my back pocket. After all my nephew may accept that because liberal President Bill Clinton is a Southern Baptist. This could lead to some good reading for him, and perhaps the discovery of some common ground with his mother. http://www.adherents.com/people/pc/Bill_Clinton.html

Excellent post, very helpful. Perhaps it will lead to some compromise here. You have lead me to some useful tools in my uncharted efforts to save our family.

Welcome to the Interfaith Alliance - Interfaith Alliance

PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays



.
​

 

[rdean]

So parents disown their son for who he is? So what if he puts up a silly and mildly tasteless video. He probably won't believe it, but I'm sure he is better off without them until they grow up. And if he is staying with someone who is helping him out, they don't need to be bringing "sex partners" into the house for sleepovers. That would be disrespectful. In fact, while he is there, if he had any class, he would be doing dishes, taking out the garbage and anything else that would be "helpful". You "earn" help, you don't "expect" it.

holy Shit!......is that really you Dean?.....you actually said something worth while.....and you did not even bring up how his folks MUST be Republicans....Gulf Clap.....

I thought that was understood.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

And if your sister is a fundamentalist Christian, ask her this...

What would Jesus do?

That ought to shut her up. And I'm not being sarcastic, I mean that sincerely.

What would Jesus do?

I am fairly sure I will not get a direct answer. My sister is a fundamentalist, and some brand of Pentecost. I asked her once about Adam and Eve. I asked if they were the first people, and their sons were Cain and Able, where did their wives come from? The answer was that their preacher has his own take on that called "Christ-o-rama." Christ-o-rama is the miracle that answers questions about all the loose end details in the Bible. It is part of faith. Thank you for your helpful post.

Well, no matter how you slice it, Jesus was all about love, patience and forgiveness. Remember the hooker they were going to stone? What did He say...he said, let you who is WITHOUT SIN throw the first stone. And when they all backed down, realizing they were not perfect, he told the woman, "Go and sin no more." HE told her go and sin no more, not the assholes in the crowd, JESUS told her go and sin no more. So it was between Jesus and the woman, if she had continued to sin, it's up to Jesus to deal with. And He is the only one who should be judging your nephew.

Why is it so many Christians butt in on God's area...which is judging people. That's for GOD and His son Jesus to do. According to their own damn beliefs, these Christians are not supposed to be doing the judging. They might be surprised at what God has to say to them about that come judgement day.

Shoot, and I don't even go to church. And it's because of hypocrites, being surrounded by hypocrites in church. I don't go to church anymore, but seems I understand what Jesus was telling us a lot better than some of these constant churchgoers do. I'm a big fan of Jesus.

According to the tenets of Christianity, and the lessons that Jesus came and presented to us, we are supposed to LOVE EACH OTHER. NOT JUDGE EACH OTHER!!!

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Oh, and by the way...the prices you are paying today are not due to your nephew being gay. He can't help it if he's gay. The prices you are paying today are because of your sister's reaction and your reaction to the simple fact that the boy is gay.

Sounds like he is a pretty good student, why don't you research some financial aid for him instead of spending the money you were going to use for your automatic blinds. Because it sounds like you are setting the stage to resent the hell out of your nephew for all the "sacrifices" you must now make for him.

 

[Sunni Man]

Being a homo is a 'choice'.

There is zero scientific evidence of a so called gay gene.

Truth......

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Being a homo is a 'choice'.

There is zero scientific evidence of a so called gay gene.

Truth......

It's not necessarily as simple as "gene" or "no gene."

To be specific, the new theory suggests that homosexuality is caused by epigenetic marks, or “epi-marks,” related to sensitivity to hormones in the womb. These are compounds that sit on DNA and regulate how active, or inactive certain genes are, and also control when during development these genes are most prolific. Gavrilets and his colleagues believe that gene expression may regulate how a fetus responds to testosterone, the all-important male sex hormone. They further argue that epi-marks may help to buffer a female fetus from high levels of testosterone by suppressing receptors that respond to testosterone, for example, (thus ensuring normal fetal development even in the presence of a lot of testosterone) or to buffer a male fetus from low levels of testosterone by upregulating receptors that bind to the hormone (ensuring normal fetal development even in the absence of high levels of testosterone). Normally, these epi-marks are erased after they are activated, but if those marks are passed down to the next generation, the same epi-marks that protected a man in utero may cause oversensitivity to testosterone among his daughters, and the epi-marks that protected a woman in utero may lead to undersensitivity to testosterone among her sons.

Read more: New Insight into the (Epi)Genetic Roots of Homosexuality | TIME.com


The debate is far from over. Surely you know that there is much that science does not yet know. It's ludicrous to think that someone would "choose" to be gay. I didn't choose to be heterosexual..I just AM. What makes you think gays are any different? Why in the world would someone "choose" to be gay? That's ridiculous. They just are.

 

[Beachboy]

Being a homo is a 'choice'.

There is zero scientific evidence of a so called gay gene.

Truth......

Frankly, your post floored me. I really had not thought about the source of homosexuality. Some one, somewhere did mention to me that being gay may be the result of the early years of rearing by an overly dominant mother and an absentee father. But as I say, I really had not thought much about it. It is difficult for me to believe it is a matter of choice. Who would intentionally choose to belong to a minority group that faces so many problems? I have usually heard the word "orientation" as related to GLBTQ. Here is a link.

ori·en·ta·tion noun \ˌȯr-ē-ən-ˈtā-shən, -ˌen-\ Definition of ORIENTATION 1 a : the act or process of orienting or of being oriented b : the state of being oriented; broadly : arrangement, alignment 2 a : a usually general or lasting direction of thought, inclination, or interest b : a person's self-identification as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual 3 : change of position by organs, organelles, or organisms in response to external stimulus Based upon Meriam Webster's definition of orientation it is not clear if being gay is a choice. Never would have thought "Gay" could be choice.

Decided to look further on Google and found this link Study: There is no ?gay gene? - Salon.com Sounds like the latest theory.

Tuesday, Dec 11, 2012 02:53 PM MDT

Study: There is no "gay gene"

New research suggests that homosexuality is passed from parents to opposite-sex offspring through epi-genetics

By Tracy Clark-Flory

Researchers announced today that homosexuality isn’t strictly genetic. But before the homophobes break out their party hats to celebrate this as proof of same-sex attraction being “unnatural,” note that the study in the Quarterly Review of Biology argues that homosexuality is passed from parent to child.

The key here is epi-marks, which control how genes are expressed, and they just might explain the evolutionary stumper of why, if homosexuality is hereditary, it hasn’t been eliminated from the gene pool.

As a press release explains in almost comprehensible terms, the study finds “sex-specific epi-marks, which normally do not pass between generations and are thus ‘erased,’ can lead to homosexuality when they escape erasure and are transmitted from father to daughter or mother to son.”

U.S. News translates that: “A lesbian will almost always get the trait from her father, while a gay man will get the trait from his mother.”

This could be important as my problem relates to a mother and son.

I guess the question I have to ask myself is does it matter if being gay is a matter of choice or something a person "just is" for some unknown reason of nature? I am going to have to think on this a while, but my knee jerk reaction is it does not matter. Sounds like maybe to me blaming a gay son without blaming his mother is a lot like arresting a prostitute, but not the John. This is America, we have to blame someone!

Sorry, no offense intended, just needed a chuckle about now.

Thank you Sunni Man for bringing this information to this thread.
​

 

[Sunni Man]

There is no homo gene.

The studies alway say, "evidence suggests" or "there possibly could be".


It's definitely a 'choice' for some guy to get his fudge packed or smoke a pole.

It doesn't just happen by accident.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Being a homo is a 'choice'.

There is zero scientific evidence of a so called gay gene.

Truth......

Frankly, your post floored me. I really had not thought about the source of being homosexual. Some on did mention that it may be the result of early years of rearing by an overly dominant mother and an absentee father, but as I say, I really had not thought much about it. It is difficult for me to believe it is a matter of choice. Who would intentionally choose to belong to a minority group with so many problems? I have usually heard the word "orientation" as related to GLBTQ.

Study: There is no ?gay gene? - Salon.com Found this link on the web for what it is worth. Sounds like the latest theory.

Yep, epi-marks, same thing my article was talking about. And get this (from your article):

U.S. News translates that: “A lesbian will almost always get the trait from her father, while a gay man will get the trait from his mother.”

According to this theory, he got the trait from his mother. LOL

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

It's definitely a 'choice' for some guy to get his fudge packed or smoke a pole.

It doesn't just happen by accident.

No, it's not an accident. But it's not a choice, either. Did you read the articles about the epi-markers on the genes?

 

[Sunni Man]

It's definitely a 'choice' for some guy to get his fudge packed or smoke a pole.

It doesn't just happen by accident.

No, it's not an accident. But it's not a choice, either. Did you read the articles about the epi-markers on the genes?

From the article: "The key here is epi-marks, which control how genes are expressed, and they just might explain the evolutionary stumper of why, if homosexuality is hereditary, it hasn’t been eliminated from the gene pool."

"just might explain" and "if" being the operative words.

Once again, just wishful thinking by the homo agenda supporters. ..

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

It's definitely a 'choice' for some guy to get his fudge packed or smoke a pole.

It doesn't just happen by accident.

No, it's not an accident. But it's not a choice, either. Did you read the articles about the epi-markers on the genes?

From the article: "The key here is epi-marks, which control how genes are expressed, and they just might explain the evolutionary stumper of why, if homosexuality is hereditary, it hasn’t been eliminated from the gene pool."

"just might explain" and "if" being the operative words.

Once again, just wishful thinking by the homo agenda supporters. ..

No, it just goes to show what I said...this debate is not over. Science has not discovered the answer to this puzzle yet. But it seems that what they have discovered is pointing to homosexuality NOT being a choice.

Oh, and by the way, I'm not a "homo agenda supporter." I just like the truth.

Being a muslim is definitely a choice, though. So don't know who you are to talk, considering your choice. The religion of hatred, as you so conveniently demonstrate. If you really are a muslim, that is.

 

[Beachboy]

There is no homo gene.

The studies alway say, "evidence suggests" or "there possibly could be".


It's definitely a 'choice' for some guy to get his fudge packed or smoke a pole.

It doesn't just happen by accident.

Can you provide a "fact/link" that homosexuality is a 'choice?' I looked and did not see one. I would appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

But, I did find this graphic.
Sounds like a reasonable point.
For me personally at puberty,
all this went in one ear and out the other.
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