How do you forgive the most horrible acts against you?

[shockedcanadian]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

In the military they teach you that you kill or be killed, when the enemy is in front of you, you dont show weakness for they, the enemy will be emboldened to shoot you dead. So you make sure that when you shoot, you kill them in the first shot, no wounding. Hope this helps.

 

[RodISHI]

When you can come to the realization that only that which is good is kept it may help you. Jesus told his disciples to keep that which is good. I personally can tell of things that have happened to me as a child that no one should have to go through. Those things that were done were fully ignored by people very close to me as they lived in their own sets of lies. I still love them very much and would not want their souls utterly destroy so I forgive their souls as I know that they were given over to their own evil ways and they suffer in the flesh for things they have done (we all do). Keep in mind justice and judgment takes place outside the gates.

 

[Darkwind]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

Is that really the question you are asking? Aren't you really asking how someone deals with a grievance that they simply cannot let go?

Even as a Christian, you do not have to forgive to stop it from eating you up mentally.

There are a number of people who have done wrong to Me that simply cannot be forgiven. That does not mean I have to dwell on it. IF. and I do mean, IF; I do think about them, I just remember that I have no use for them and then put them out of My mind yet again.

Do not let others define your life.

 

[Jets]

I do not forgive to help the person who did the act. I’m forgiving them to release me from my rage. Why should I allow myself to keep suffering for what another person did to me. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.

 

[SweetSue92]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

Being a good Christian is often very tough. Yeesh I get that.

I think it depends on the nature of the relationship you need to maintain with the person who did you wrong. Do you need to remain close to the person due to family circumstances? Or is this someone you will likely never, or rarely, ever see again?

In either case, Shocked, for the Christian, forgiveness, as I'm sure you know, is not about the transgressor, and it's not even really about you (sorry). It's really about God, about your relationship with God. It's about being right with God. If you perpetrator keeps you from being right with God, he/she is victimizing you all over again.

Do not give that person that power.

If you extend forgiveness, it does not in any way mean you condone the evil OR that it is right. You know that. It means that you are getting right WITH GOD. That you refuse to hate in your heart, for YOU. It doesn't even mean that the person will not be judged--he will, and that is right too ("Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay".--Romans 12:19) It is not your place to condone that act or to make it okay--that's not what forgiveness is, really. To me it's standing in front of God and saying to Him, apart from your perpetrator, "I'm giving this to You, I'm not going to hold onto it. I'm going to forgive him/her, You are God. I turn him/her over to You."

I really hope this helps.

 

[Meriweather]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

I have been in a situation where to forgive seemed an obscenity to all I stood for. In prayer, I turned it over to God, saying this was something that was beyond my strength to forgive and was therefore asking God to handle that forgiveness for me. I could not do it, but I trusted God and His strength could. This brought me peace, and as time went on what brought me further peace is all the good that is in the world that this evil could not conquer. May have lost that battle, but war is being won.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

It isn't about "forgiveness" in the sense the word is often used. People get confused and think it means you must go on as if the person never did it, and continue to be friends etc.
That is unrealistic and counter-productive.
Rather, you must walk away from it.
SImply put the person out of your mind, do not try to understand it....it is good you don't understand, if you did then you are just like them. Give up the human need to understand and just dismiss it. And them.
And THAT is forgiveness.

 

[gtopa1]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

I forget about it. Once I get even I don't give it another thought.

Greg

 

[gtopa1]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

It isn't about "forgiveness" in the sense the word is often used. People get confused and think it means you must go on as if the person never did it, and continue to be friends etc.
That is unrealistic and counter-productive.
Rather, you must walk away from it.
SImply put the person out of your mind, do not try to understand it....it is good you don't understand, if you did then you are just like them. Give up the human need to understand and just dismiss it. And them.
And THAT is forgiveness.

Forgiveness yes, but Justice is just as important though may take a little longer.

Greg

 

[gtopa1]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

Being a good Christian is often very tough. Yeesh I get that.

I think it depends on the nature of the relationship you need to maintain with the person who did you wrong. Do you need to remain close to the person due to family circumstances? Or is this someone you will likely never, or rarely, ever see again?

In either case, Shocked, for the Christian, forgiveness, as I'm sure you know, is not about the transgressor, and it's not even really about you (sorry). It's really about God, about your relationship with God. It's about being right with God. If you perpetrator keeps you from being right with God, he/she is victimizing you all over again.

Do not give that person that power.

If you extend forgiveness, it does not in any way mean you condone the evil OR that it is right. You know that. It means that you are getting right WITH GOD. That you refuse to hate in your heart, for YOU. It doesn't even mean that the person will not be judged--he will, and that is right too ("Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay".--Romans 12:19) It is not your place to condone that act or to make it okay--that's not what forgiveness is, really. To me it's standing in front of God and saying to Him, apart from your perpetrator, "I'm giving this to You, I'm not going to hold onto it. I'm going to forgive him/her, You are God. I turn him/her over to You."

I really hope this helps.

Yeah: what she said.

Greg

 

[SweetSue92]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

I have been in a situation where to forgive seemed an obscenity to all I stood for. In prayer, I turned it over to God, saying this was something that was beyond my strength to forgive and was therefore asking God to handle that forgiveness for me. I could not do it, but I trusted God and His strength could. This brought me peace, and as time went on what brought me further peace is all the good that is in the world that this evil could not conquer. May have lost that battle, but war is being won.

I agree with this too. Absolutely. This is the very thing the Holy Spirit and God are there to help us with. We are not able but God is!!

 

[gtopa1]

I get the feeling I'm not helping; best of luck with it all. But forgiving is only part of the deal; Justice matters.

Greg

 

[Weatherman2020]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

Many interchange forgiveness with leniency. Two separate issues. For an infraction a price must be paid or owed. Not for revenge, but for justice. You can forgive a man for murdering your family, but he’s still going to prison. You can forgive a spouse for adultery, but the relationship is not going to be the same for a long time.

For a person to forgive, you simply have to turn it over to God. You are out of the picture, it’s in His hands at what happens.

 

[Disir]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.
Thank you for your time.

I don't. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. I eventually get to a point where I make a choice over whether I intend to live in the past or do something else. When it's an old wound and I have had years to reflect, I take what I can from it. Have you developed a sense of empathy or compassion for those that may have encountered the same that otherwise might not exist? And are you being called upon (for lack of a better phrase) to use it?

But, I am not a Christian.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.
Thank you for your time.

I don't. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. I eventually get to a point where I make a choice over whether I intend to live in the past or do something else. When it's an old wound and I have had years to reflect, I take what I can from it. Have you developed a sense of empathy or compassion for those that may have encountered the same that otherwise might not exist? And are you being called upon (for lack of a better phrase) to use it?

But, I am not a Christian.

Yeah, you see, that is my nature, just put on foot in front of another, and in fact, it was forgotten, I had moved past it, chalked it up to the reality of life. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple in my case. So I have to somehow learn to forgive, while I suffer consequences of it still.

 

[Likkmee]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

Tough it is. Close your eyes and put yourself in Christs last hours.
Many people are simply oxygen thief's. Noah will tell you all about that rodeo some day.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

It isn't about "forgiveness" in the sense the word is often used. People get confused and think it means you must go on as if the person never did it, and continue to be friends etc.
That is unrealistic and counter-productive.
Rather, you must walk away from it.
SImply put the person out of your mind, do not try to understand it....it is good you don't understand, if you did then you are just like them. Give up the human need to understand and just dismiss it. And them.
And THAT is forgiveness.

Forgiveness yes, but Justice is just as important though may take a little longer.

Greg

Justice is complicated. If what the person did is not illegal, then whatever you do in return probably is. And then "justice" ends up making you suffer more.
Forgiveness is personal. It is what you do in your own mind, not what you do to get back. That is the opposite of forgiveness.
Having said that, absolutely there are acts a person can do to you that is not forgivable in a sense it is imperative they pay a price for what they did. For instance something done to a child of yours. That is an entirely different thing. And a whole other discussion.
I assumed what our Canadian friend spoke of is something they did to him personally. And not illegal (guessing). If you do not have recourse legally or civilly, then you either put yourself at risk to get even, or you walk away.

 

[SweetSue92]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.
Thank you for your time.

I don't. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. I eventually get to a point where I make a choice over whether I intend to live in the past or do something else. When it's an old wound and I have had years to reflect, I take what I can from it. Have you developed a sense of empathy or compassion for those that may have encountered the same that otherwise might not exist? And are you being called upon (for lack of a better phrase) to use it?

But, I am not a Christian.

Yeah, you see, that is my nature, just put on foot in front of another, and in fact, it was forgotten, I had moved past it, chalked it up to the reality of life. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple in my case. So I have to somehow learn to forgive, while I suffer consequences of it still.

Well that may be too hard for you. Depending on the transgression it would certainly be too hard for me.

But as a poster just said, Jesus forgave his murderers when He was dying on the Cross. So you don't really have to do this. Thank God for that. I encourage you to lean on God to not only help you, but to do it for you. Really, tell Him you cannot do it. He gets it.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more in my weakness, so the power of Christ may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

 

[shockedcanadian]

I've easily forgiven people for minor infractions against me. Let bygones be bygones. No problem, people aren't perfect.

How do you forgive the really unforgivable? I prefer not to go into details, and it happened a long time ago, but, it was outright evil, and I almost feel even though I am the victim, it's not my place to forgive.

I'm trying to be a good Christian, and it's tough. This is one aspect I struggle with.

Thank you for your time.

It isn't about "forgiveness" in the sense the word is often used. People get confused and think it means you must go on as if the person never did it, and continue to be friends etc.
That is unrealistic and counter-productive.
Rather, you must walk away from it.
SImply put the person out of your mind, do not try to understand it....it is good you don't understand, if you did then you are just like them. Give up the human need to understand and just dismiss it. And them.
And THAT is forgiveness.

Forgiveness yes, but Justice is just as important though may take a little longer.

Greg

Justice is complicated. If what the person did is not illegal, then whatever you do in return probably is. And then "justice" ends up making you suffer more.
Forgiveness is personal. It is what you do in your own mind, not what you do to get back. That is the opposite of forgiveness.
Having said that, absolutely there are acts a person can do to you that is not forgivable in a sense it is imperative they pay a price for what they did. For instance something done to a child of yours. That is an entirely different thing. And a whole other discussion.
I assumed what our Canadian friend spoke of is something they did to him personally. And not illegal (guessing). If you do not have recourse legally or civilly, then you either put yourself at risk to get even, or you walk away.

It was illegal and pervasive. Legal justice doesn't really exist in Canada unless you are very wealthy. We have the worst access to justice system in the entire G20, that determination from an independent agency.

So I have to try and forgive (I had forgotten years ago, until it reared it's ugly head) as some sort of solace and spiritual liberation. It's not easy for me.