Forgiveness

[lizzie]

I am willing to forgive. I am unwilling to hold onto the feelings of hurt, and enmity.

Imo, you can't "will" or "un-will" holding onto feelings of hurt and enmity. When these issues are sufficiently resolved in your heart and mind, there won't be a will required. It may be that you need to hold onto them long enough to fully examine and understand them, until you no longer have a need for them.

 

[masquerade]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Yes. And I work on replacing it with a thought that is positive and makes me feel good.

Change the thought and the feeling must go.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I am willing to forgive. I am unwilling to hold onto the feelings of hurt, and enmity.

Imo, you can't "will" or "un-will" holding onto feelings of hurt and enmity. When these issues are sufficiently resolved in your heart and mind, there won't be a will required. It may be that you need to hold onto them long enough to fully examine and understand them, until you no longer have a need for them.

Thank you. I think you're the first person to understand how I'm working with this now. I go inside myself, and I check on those places that feel unwilling to let go. I spend time with them, I allow them to show me what they still need from me in order to heal and let go.

I'm committed to resolving this so that it no longer takes up any space in my mind and it self-liberates.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Yes. And I work on replacing it with a thought that is positive and makes me feel good.

Change the thought and the feeling must go.

That practice is one I've tried. What I'm doing now, is not trying to banish the feelings, but to allow them to be fully met and heard and accepted. When they are heard, attended to and cared for they self-liberate.

It's not like I want to eliminate them as part of my humanity. I want to be free. It doesn't work for me just on the level of a mental imposition of an opposite thought.

What it sounds like you recommend is repression. I am very good at that. I repressed most memories and feelings about my abuse for most of my life and functioned quite successfully.

This is different. Please don't think I'm rejecting YOU if not all your ideas work for me. I read Louise Hay's book many years ago.

 

[syrenn]

The story of Adam and Eve is the classic example of what happens when human beings don’t forgive themselves. It teaches that we were expelled from the Garden of Eden because of our innate sinfulness, that we are outcasts whose earthly task is to redeem ourselves—just like the primordial couple. But imagine how different our lives might be if, after breaking the rules, Adam and Eve had reflected, “Ah well, humans will be humans!” or “Seeking knowledge is normal,” or “Eve was in one of her moods.”

If only they’d forgiven themselves, they could have returned to paradise. Instead, believing they were unworthy and shamed before God, they thought their only choice was exile.

Every day I ask myself, “What is unforgiven? What am I not accepting?”

So it could be what you really need sky, is to forgive yourself first

 

[PixieStix]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Absolutely!

 

[Sky Dancer]

Thanks for all the advice.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Absolutely!

That's one method, to shove the thought or feeling out of the way and replace it with another.

It' also possible to welcome the hurt, to say hello to it, to ask what kind of contact it needs and to let it know it can be there as long as it needs to.

What happens is those places relax and self-liberate with loving care, not with judgment, condemnation and banishment.

I've had enough violence in my life without being violent toward myself in my attitude toward what truly arising in the moment.

 

[masquerade]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Yes. And I work on replacing it with a thought that is positive and makes me feel good.

Change the thought and the feeling must go.

That practice is one I've tried. What I'm doing now, is not trying to banish the feelings, but to allow them to be fully met and heard and accepted. When they are heard, attended to and cared for they self-liberate.

It's not like I want to eliminate them as part of my humanity. I want to be free. It doesn't work for me just on the level of a mental imposition of an opposite thought.

What it sounds like you recommend is repression. I am very good at that. I repressed most memories and feelings about my abuse for most of my life and functioned quite successfully.

This is different. Please don't think I'm rejecting YOU if not all your ideas work for me. I read Louise Hay's book many years ago.

No. Not repression.
Do I still have repressed feelings from my childhood? Yes I do. And I've been trying to get some of them to surface so I can resolve them. It's a work in progress.

I don't ever try to banish my feelings ... my emotions. I know that all of them whether good or bad, are normal and acceptable. I try not to fight them either. Instead I flow with them knowing the negative ones are temporary and that in time I will find balance and harmony.

What I've done is forgive everyone from my past who I allowed to hurt me. I have wrapped my past in a blanket of Love and I have set it free. The past has no control over me anymore and my point of power is right here, right now, in this present moment.

I sense you still have a lot of resistance to deal with in regards to your healing process. And that's okay. I suggest you love yourself as much as you can and tell yourself that you're willing to release all resistance. Tell yourself you are willing to change ... that is ... if you are willing to change. Release your fears and doubts and put your trust in the process of Life. Oh and you might want to read Louise's book again. Perhaps this time something might click and your path to healing your Life will be laid out in front of you.

When one finds peace and harmony in their heart and mind, they will find it in their Life. I wish this for you Sky.

 

[Uncensored2008]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xezg3z5IE8I]DON HENLEY [Eagles] - THE HEART OF THE MATTER - YouTube[/ame]

 

[masquerade]

I am willing to forgive. I am unwilling to hold onto the feelings of hurt, and enmity.

Imo, you can't "will" or "un-will" holding onto feelings of hurt and enmity. When these issues are sufficiently resolved in your heart and mind, there won't be a will required. It may be that you need to hold onto them long enough to fully examine and understand them, until you no longer have a need for them.

Thank you. I think you're the first person to understand how I'm working with this now. I go inside myself, and I check on those places that feel unwilling to let go. I spend time with them, I allow them to show me what they still need from me in order to heal and let go.

I'm committed to resolving this so that it no longer takes up any space in my mind and it self-liberates.

Have I been posting in a foreign language?
Sky, I go 'inside' every day. We all have the answers to our problems inside of ourselves. It's just a matter of looking ... quieting ourselves and looking within.

 

[Si modo]

Feelings follow thoughts, Sky.

I try to catch myself whenever I think about what hurts.

Absolutely!

That's one method, to shove the thought or feeling out of the way and replace it with another.

It' also possible to welcome the hurt, to say hello to it, to ask what kind of contact it needs and to let it know it can be there as long as it needs to.

What happens is those places relax and self-liberate with loving care, not with judgment, condemnation and banishment.

I've had enough violence in my life without being violent toward myself in my attitude toward what truly arising in the moment.

It's not about shoving feelings at all, Sky.

Not at all.

It's about trying to catch yourself when you are focusing on the hurt/thinking about that hurt. Then, think about something else that does not hurt (don't 'try' to think about something else, either, because we ALL can control our thoughts). It doesn't matter what it is, really, as long as it isn't negative toward you or another. How fun your dog is, how fun it was to have a Coke with your friend the other day, cooking a nice meal for family and their enjoyment of it, etc.

Give it a shot.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Resistance is a negative psych spin, that is WAY outdated. This isn't resistance. When you respect EVERY part of the inner life, you see it's beauty and it's integrity. You see the light within the dark places.

It's very easy to read someone's posts and tell them you know everything about what they need to heal.

We're all different. And it's a matter of timing. Affirmations may work at one time, and not at another.

Right now, I'm learning to be kind to ALL of it. My anger and rage, my sadness and confusion, my deep hurt, and the parts that resolved that NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.

There are protective parts that need respect and reassignment to new jobs.

You are assuming Si Modo, that I am not also growing resources within myself. I have many positive memories and I am using those too. They also reside as cell memory along with the cell memory of abuse.

Sometimes I think other people want to distance themselves from another person's suffering. I don't need friends to do anything for me. This is my work, and I'm committed to it.

You have no idea how hard I've been working.

I appreciate myself for my honesty and my vulnerability. The people who know me in RL are awed by the work I've done and continue to do. They find it inspiring.

 

[masquerade]

Good luck Sky.
Unsubscribing now.

 

[Si modo]

Good luck Sky.
Unsubscribing now.

Unsubscribing, too.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Bye. Let the thread die.

Unless I take ALL your advice and do MY healing YOUR way, you're no longer interested in talking to me. So be it. Rather heavy handed advice giving IMO.

 

[Uncensored2008]

I got the call today I didn't wanna hear,
But I knew that it would come,
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone,
She said you found someone,
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through,
And how I lost me, and you lost you,
What are these voices outside love's open door,
Make us throw off our contentment,
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now,
But I miss you sometimes,
The more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak,
And my thoughts seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore,

These times are so uncertain,
There's a yearning undefined,
People filled with rage,
We all need a little tenderness,
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness,
They're the very things we kill, I guess,
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms,
And the work I put between us,
You know it doesn't keep me warm,

I'm learning to live without you now,
But I miss you, baby,
The more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But everything changes,
And my friends seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore,

There are people in your life who've come and gone,
They let you down,
You know they hurt your pride,
You'd better put it all behind you, baby, 'cause life goes on,
You keep carryin' that anger,
It'll eat you inside, baby,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
But my will gets weak,
And my thoughts seem to scatter,
But I think it's about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me,

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter,
Because the flesh will get weak,
And the ashes will scatter,
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness,
Forgiveness,
Even if, even if you don't love me,

Forgiveness (hey),
Forgiveness (baby),
Forgiveness (oh),
Forgiveness (hey hey),
Forgiveness (oh),
Forgiveness,
Even if you don't love me anymore,
Forgiveness (ooh),
Forgiveness (oh).

 

[Sky Dancer]

An amazing story of forgiveness is related in the book, Left to Tell, by Immaculee' Ilibagiza

She survived the Rwandan Holocaust.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Another book I recommend is Strange Piece of Paradise: A return to the American West to investigate my attempted murder and solve the riddle of myself. by Terri Jentz

You see how long her process took and at what price she paid for it. She was randomly attacked in a campground by a stranger with an ax.

 

[PixieStix]

You already know what book I recommend