Etiquette Tips from an Old Man

[DGS49]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

 

[Moonglow]

Betty Crocker sucks, not a one biscuit recipe...

 

[strollingbones]

i give cash to hs graduates ....let them be ****** rich for a day or two....they learn from that......weddings

a gift off the registry.....now with that said......i dont get a lot of wedding invites due to a firm rule.....i dont do weddings and avoid all church activities....including christenings that was hard ......i hold to a limit of 100 bucks on the gifts unless its a family member....and yea i love how people who have lived together for years suddenly need goose down comforters and such

ahh fuck was i suppose to get the baby a christening gift? was i?

 

[Moonglow]

i give cash to hs graduates ....let them be ****** rich for a day or two....they learn from that......weddings

a gift off the registry.....now with that said......i dont get a lot of wedding invites due to a firm rule.....i dont do weddings and avoid all church activities....including christenings that was hard ......i hold to a limit of 100 bucks on the gifts unless its a family member....and yea i love how people who have lived together for years suddenly need goose down comforters and such

ahh fuck was i suppose to get the baby a christening gift? was i?

Yeah, buy a package of Pampers...They'll need them the most the first 6 months...

 

[Moonglow]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

Bourque is closer..

 

[strollingbones]

sob i did not buy the baby anything for her christening....damn it....ahh hell i am paying for her private swim lessons lol that counts more than something when she was sprinkled......now will they dunk her later?

 

[Moonglow]

sob i did not buy the baby anything for her christening....damn it....ahh hell i am paying for her private swim lessons lol that counts more than something when she was sprinkled......now will they dunk her later?

Only if she backslides and becomes a Baptist...Then holy hell with ensue...

 

[strollingbones]

i never get the sprinkle vs dunking uh oh grumpy is gonna explain it

 

[Moonglow]

i never get the sprinkle vs dunking uh oh grumpy is gonna explain it

Baptist don't carry around holy water, they buy it by the tank load...

 

[strollingbones]

now he is saying you cant go to heaven unless you get dunked or sprinkled.....he loves telling me the how many ways i am going to hell....

 

[mdk]

We didn't have a gift registry for our wedding. After being together for well over a decade, there wasn't anything we really needed.

 

[Moonglow]

now he is saying you cant go to heaven unless you get dunked or sprinkled.....he loves telling me the how many ways i am going to hell....

I have no shortage of in laws like dat, in fact they are the majority, fricking freaks...

 

[Moonglow]

We didn't have a gift registry for our wedding. After being together for well over a decade, there wasn't anything we really needed.

I was married three times....and never got anything but the bill....

 

[strollingbones]

a pagan in the bible belt....i am use to being told i am going to hell...and i thank them for their concern in their most judge fucking mental way and with those words

 

[Moonglow]

a pagan in the bible belt....i am use to being told i am going to hell...and i thank them for their concern in their most judge fucking mental way and with those words

Then I throw away the pamphlet..

 

[rightwinger]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

My nephew had a similar wedding

It is no longer a wedding. It is a year long celebration that begins with an engagement party, followed by a bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party ( at exotic locations you have to fly to), a rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, cocktail hour, the wedding receiption with 20 piece band and fireworks,, a post reception party and a brunch the next morning then a two week honeymoon

All told, I would estimate they dumped over $200,000 just to get married, not including what the guests had to pay

 

[JoeMoma]

Do I get to pat a cute waitress on the butt if I leave a big tip?

 

[Moonglow]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

My nephew had a similar wedding

It is no longer a wedding. It is a year long celebration that begins with an engagement party, followed by a bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party ( at exotic locations you have to fly to), a rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, the wedding banquet, a post banquet party and a brunch the next morning

All told, I would estimate they dumped over $200,000 just to get married, not including what the guests had to pay

Should have saved it for the divorce...

 

[JoeMoma]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

My nephew had a similar wedding

It is no longer a wedding. It is a year long celebration that begins with an engagement party, followed by a bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party ( at exotic locations you have to fly to), a rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, the wedding banquet, a post banquet party and a brunch the next morning

All told, I would estimate they dumped over $200,000 just to get married, not including what the guests had to pay

Should have saved it for the divorce...

$200,000 can rent a lot of hookers.

 

[Mr Natural]

Here's an idea for a business:

Offer insurance policies to the parents who have to cough up big money for one of those Big Stupid Weddings.

It could be pro rated something like this: If the marriage lasts less than a year, you get back 90%. Two years, 80%, three years, 70% and so on.