Etiquette Tips from an Old Man

[Moonglow]

For the umpteenth time I receive yet another engraved invitation to a big, elaborate wedding ceremony from a COUPLE with one child who own a nice home, run a successful business, and have been living together for three or four years. Both are in their 30's. It will be in a Catholic Church, with much pomp, followed by a huge reception at a nice venue with a sit-down dinner for 300 or so, and a live band. The invitation indicates "no gifts," which - so you will not be fooled - means ONLY CASH (or checks, I suppose).

My wife will shortly receive an invitation to a Wedding Shower from the mother of the Bride, which will also be in a "nice" venue and will include about a hundred female friends, relatives, acquaintances of the bride & groom. The shower invitation will indicate where the bride is "registered," and also some helpful hints at what the happy couple would like to receive as gifts. Included will undoubtedly be the bride's chosen China pattern, of which a salad bowl will probably be in the low three figures.

Etiquette hint: This is all grotesque. Every bit of it.

The big church wedding is a celebration for a young couple starting out in life. While the white gown has not recently been a symbol of virginity as it was in the past, it should still at least symbolize her fresh start in marriage or cohabitation. It is big and festive because the couple typically has NOTHING, and the gifts received will help them get a start in life. A shower is a small party for friends of the Bride, and was originally intended to provide her with LITTLE THINGS like flatware, towels, a Betty Crocker cookbook, and so on, because she was setting up housekeeping for the first time. The shower should usually be arranged by the bridesmaids, and NEVER the Bride's mother, because that would be tacky.

My advice to couples like the one described above: Forget the shower. If the bride wants to have a party with her friends to symbolize that she won't be bar-hopping with them (as much) in the future, go ahead, but for God's sake, no gifts. The wedding should be low, low key. Maximum 50 guests, and again, no gifts. Ideally, invite everyone to the house for a party without telling them in advance it is to celebrate their (finally) getting married. Do have a cake and cut it with some formality.

Anything more elaborate than that would be grotesque.

In my opinion.

My nephew had a similar wedding

It is no longer a wedding. It is a year long celebration that begins with an engagement party, followed by a bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party ( at exotic locations you have to fly to), a rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, the wedding banquet, a post banquet party and a brunch the next morning

All told, I would estimate they dumped over $200,000 just to get married, not including what the guests had to pay

Should have saved it for the divorce...

$200,000 can rent a lot of hookers.

Not if golden showers are thrown in, that's just for straight up action.

 

[Moonglow]

Here's an idea for a business:

Offer insurance policies to the parents who have to cough up big money for one of those Big Stupid Weddings.

It could be pro rated something like this: If the marriage lasts less than a year, you get back 90%. Two years, 80%, three years, 70% and so on.

I like that idea, but it's too slim of a margin for insurance companies..

 

[strollingbones]

one of my bffs huge reception etc and so forth....lasted under 3 years
girl i worked with.....big romantic proposal....etc and so forth.....just over year....why do people feel the need to marry to fuck someone?