Does Spanking kids Work?

[Iceweasel]

There's a difference between spanking and abuse. If you don't know the difference then you shouldn't do it. People used to spank more and the kids used to be better behaved. Coincidence?

I moved from NYC in the late 60s to the deep south where spanking was still permitted in school. Guess which schools had less problems?

 

[asterism]

Warn the child the first time, and tell the child that it is hot, and they should not touch. If the child ignores my warning, I'd let them touch the burner.

They will never touch it again, and will listen to me when I say that something is hot. Sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

That, my dear, is child abuse. Please don't reproduce. Thank you.

It is not child abuse. How many times do you slap the child before the child understands not to touch? Or let the child touch what is hot, knowing that you can care for them afterward, and that they will never go near that stove top again?

I remember my neighbours child, who was about three at the time, always putting her fingers in the doorjam of the wardrobe. She was told repeatedly to remove her fingers, because they would get stuck in it. She refused to listen to our warnings. So we let her leave her fingers in the door, and closed the door on her fingers.

After she screamed her head off, and a cuddle from mum, she never, ever stuck her fingers in the doorjam ever again.

Child abuse? Hell no.

That is scary. Kids can lose fingers in doors (happened to my son) and burns can lead to massive infection which can be fatal. Also, if a you let a kid "learn a lesson" by letting him stick a fork in a wall plug it could kill him.

Yes, that would be child abuse in this country.

 

[Mojo2]

Does Spanking kids Work???

You better believe they do!!!

They work like beavers when you spank em!












j/k

 

[asterism]

Spanking sends a message. The message is that if you are bigger than someone else, it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical pain. In short, this is how bullies are born. It is also a fact that those who are victims of physical abiuse as a child tend to abuse children themselves as they grow up.

If that's true then does sending a child to her room send a message that forced imprisonment is okay?


No.

 

[Montrovant]

Warn the child the first time, and tell the child that it is hot, and they should not touch. If the child ignores my warning, I'd let them touch the burner.

They will never touch it again, and will listen to me when I say that something is hot. Sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

That, my dear, is child abuse. Please don't reproduce. Thank you.

It is not child abuse. How many times do you slap the child before the child understands not to touch? Or let the child touch what is hot, knowing that you can care for them afterward, and that they will never go near that stove top again?

I remember my neighbours child, who was about three at the time, always putting her fingers in the doorjam of the wardrobe. She was told repeatedly to remove her fingers, because they would get stuck in it. She refused to listen to our warnings. So we let her leave her fingers in the door, and closed the door on her fingers.

After she screamed her head off, and a cuddle from mum, she never, ever stuck her fingers in the doorjam ever again.

Child abuse? Hell no.

So spanking should never be done, but allowing a child to possibly get severe burns or broken fingers is fine?

 

[Jarlaxle]

Does Spanking kids Work?

Sometimes, yes....sometimes, no. It depends upon the emotional makeup of the child. Mom always used a switch on our bottom legs. The tortuous part was my brother and I had to go out an get the switch, from a tree and often that took many trips, as the first few were usually unacceptable in size.

She was a tender soul and I am sure the switching that stung, hurt her much more than it did us.

We turned out just fine, with no noticeable negative results, from our rearing. I thank them, both.

More likely: she was a twisted pervert getting her jollies torturing her children.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Does spanking work for who? For the kid? It didn't work so well for me. But I wasn't "spanked" so much as beat with a belt. Those welts! My Dad would have gone to jail today. Back in the 60ties? Nah. Hell men barely went to jail for beating their wives half to death.[

Sounds like my father...well, my father preferred a 2x4, a skillet, or a broom handle. It stopped when I confronted him with a loaded, cocked shotgun!

Might have been ok IF I had been smart enough to keep from getting that belt more than once. But not me. Or IF I had had enough sense to cry out. But no. I was gonna take that beating like a man and not cry. No matter how much it hurt.

I do remember when I got big enough to say that I was through with that belt. My Dad was surprised. But he didn't beat me anymore. My Dad was also a crazy alcoholic.

Did beating me with a belt help me? LMAO. No. I would have still been an asshole even if I hadn't been whipped like that. It's in my nature.

I raised three kids. All fine and dandy. I smacked one kid one time with my open hand.
Felt so bad I cried for days. But I didn't let my kid know. That's what my beatings gave me; empathy.

I did like to use the index finger flip. That "thunk" did get their attention when it wandered some where it shouldn't have been.

Don't beat your kids with a belt. You will go to jail. And it won't really do your kids any good. And you will feel bad for it. Someday.

A deep, stern voice, an evil eye and a good finger thump will do the trick for punishment much better. Take it from an old guy who was beat.

You broke the cycle, congratulations. Most do not.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Well it certainly works for something.

Question is what does spanking kids work toward?


Would any of you object if I pointed out the obvious?

That spanking does not have the same effect on every kid?

Now I realize that this place exists in a world of BLACK AND WHITE, but this place in no way represents the real world.

What spanking works toward is teaching kids that actions have consequence's sometimes negative ones I would also point out that the more passive form of discipline like timeouts also does not work on every kid as you correctly point out it's not a black and white or one size fits all world.

I know a couple of people whose children learned that when you're strong enough, pounding the shit out of a parent is just dandy! Someone my wife works with got a lesson in that: after years of whippings, his daughter (14 or 15, I think) decided it was done: she put a pan on the stove, heated it...and poured two gallons of boiling water on her sleeping father.

 

[peach174]

The vast majority of baby boomer's were spanked. Spanked , not hit or slapped , not belts or switches. Belts and objects like paddles or switches are remembered by the very young child and does real harm to their bodies and mentally.
Spanking only,done mostly at ages 1 yr. to 3 yr's. and done few and far between or it becomes ineffective. It has to be done at a young age. Why? Because the child does not start to really remember things until after 4 (unless it was very traumatic experience), so they don't fear their parents from that simple spanking discipline, but they have learned what is wrong and right by that time.
By the time we were 4 we minded our parents and had respect for elders and those in authority.
The majority turned out just fine.

Every once in a blue moon when you did something really, really wrong when you got older you got spanked, but usually just the threat worked.
Now that parenting authority has been taken away where most yell at their older children, the discipline is done at too late of an age and we have a bunch of spoiled rotten brats.

 

[Antares]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

....and you spend all of your waking moments blaming your parents for everything that is wrong with your life.....it sounds more like you are Bi-Polar than any effect the spanking had.

Yes spanking works.

 

[blackhawk]

Well it certainly works for something.

Question is what does spanking kids work toward?


Would any of you object if I pointed out the obvious?

That spanking does not have the same effect on every kid?

Now I realize that this place exists in a world of BLACK AND WHITE, but this place in no way represents the real world.

What spanking works toward is teaching kids that actions have consequence's sometimes negative ones I would also point out that the more passive form of discipline like timeouts also does not work on every kid as you correctly point out it's not a black and white or one size fits all world.

I know a couple of people whose children learned that when you're strong enough, pounding the shit out of a parent is just dandy! Someone my wife works with got a lesson in that: after years of whippings, his daughter (14 or 15, I think) decided it was done: she put a pan on the stove, heated it...and poured two gallons of boiling water on her sleeping father.

There is a difference between giving a child a spanking for acting up and child abuse which is what it sounds like the kids your talking about were subjected to sadly for whatever the reason some parents cant distinguish between the two.

 

[bianco]

SuperNanny never hits a child.

SuperNanny is an idiot.

SuperNanny is very wise;


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z40TEkshZvk]Supernanny The Wischmeyer Family - YouTube[/ame]

 

[BDBoop]

This something that has interest me for quite awhile now. Since I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong and for the most part I came out fine other than my Depression that I still haven't kicked out of.

But for the most part a sane human being. But new this new data of people who spank their kids for the most part do not do well in schools and are more aggressive is this old school way of discipline hurting are kids this the question I ask you guys here.

Do Not Hit Your Children with Belts - YouTube

Study Links Spanking Kids To Aggression, Language Problems

Maternal spanking at age 5, even at low levels, was associated with higher levels of child externalizing behavior at age 9, even after an array of risks and earlier child behavior were controlled for. Father’s high-frequency spanking at age 5 was associated with lower child receptive vocabulary scores at age 9.

Womanist Musings: Dear Black Community: Beating Children With Belts Is Not Discipline, It's Abuse

He further goes on to state that he is going to give the child a reason to cry and then beats him some more. In the next scene we see the child outside with a tear streaked face. The father makes him run, crab walk and then do push ups. When he realizes that the child did the push up on his knees he accuses him of cheating and demands 15 push ups. At the end of the video you see the child doing a push up with strain more than evident on his face with the words job well done on the screen.

Not belts. No.

 

[NoNukes]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

Exactly right.

There is never a reason or an excuse to hit a child.

I agree, it is violence and abusive. How could anyone hit someone they love?

 

[Spoonman]

spare the rod, spoil the child. there is a lot of truth to that one.

 

[bianco]

The high school principal, in his office, flogged me on the hands with a cane, he was angry, raised the cane above his head 6 times...because at assembly, outside in the humid Sydney morning summer sun, I looked at my watch while he was talking.
I was about 16.

After I left school, I, along with a whole lot of other kids who'd been flogged with canes by angry teachers..."discipline"...embarked on a crusade to rid schools of floggings/corporal punishment.
We succeeded.
No more floggings/corporal punishment, no more canes, all gone!
Schools and teachers didn't like the idea of being sued for assault etc.

There are ways to discipline children other than hitting them with canes, iron cords, belts, slapping/punching them in the head [some cultures]etc.

In biancoland you can legally tap a toddler on the bottom or legs with an open hand as discipline...that's all.
Tap.
Anything else, stand by for the cops to arrive and/or if in the mall you be verbally instructed by the public as to your sin.

 

[bianco]

spare the rod, spoil the child. there is a lot of truth to that one.

Rod the child, including into their early teens, speak to them like they're dirt...first chance they get they'll move to the other end of the nation, and take their little kids with them.

 

[oldfart]

I worked for me.

Thank you Dad!

You're self-employed?

My ex never hesitated to vent her anger on our boys. Sometimes slapping them in the face. When I confronted her, she replied "don't tell me how to raise my children".
I smacked their butts on occasion, but never in the face.

My wife (and myself) never ever physically reprimanded our daughter.

Long storey short- they all turned out peachy.

So far those that say they don't spank their kids have girls. Hmmmmmmmm.......

Put me down for two boys that I never spanked who turned out OK. Many a night I came home from work to a living room full of sleeping bags for a sleepover. You could tell which boys got "whupped" a lot.

 

[oldfart]

Are there any parents of boy's that never use physical discipline? So far to my knowledge everyone on this thread that never use physical disipline have girls.

OK, discipline is part of family culture. In my father's family, no one used corporal punishment except in rare cases. My father never did. My brother and I have five children, all boys, and we have six grandchildren, three of them boys. To the best of my knowledge, none of them were physically disciplined by their fathers. The few cases where mothers resorted to physical discipline did not turn out well.

I don't buy the argument that some kids require physical discipline. I have 45 years in as a Boy Scout leader and have met some youth who needed the attention of the criminal justice system, but never one I was convinced would be better by the use of physical discipline. Most parents learn their parenting skills from their parents, and I have meet some fine parents who used physical discipline. Most of them used physical discipline only at an early age, mainly as a token of disapproval (which was the main effect), and made sure their kids knew the parents loved them. I also don't put that in the category of abuse.

But I believe that if new parents thought out what their expectations for their children were, what they wanted them to grow into, why they want to have children, and what experiences they had in their own childhoods and how they reacted to them; most parents would find a better way than using physical discipline.

 

[Vandalshandle]

There's a difference between spanking and abuse. If you don't know the difference then you shouldn't do it. People used to spank more and the kids used to be better behaved. Coincidence?

I moved from NYC in the late 60s to the deep south where spanking was still permitted in school. Guess which schools had less problems?

i grew up in the deep South, and my high school wisely gave the wayward student a choice. Either three licks with a paddle or a day's suspension. It was a wise chioice because I was caught skipping school one day, and I was given that choice. If the principal had struck me with a paddle, I would have decked him.