Does Spanking kids Work?

[chikenwing]

My step-son was spanked only once, and very lightly at that. He never behaved to the point where it was required to administer a second. The same with My two sons. They were spanked, lightly, when they acted up, at an early enough age that the discipline did not need to be harsh to be effective.

I would agree that such punishment is not abuse and could be effective.

However, the later in life, if that bad behavior is allowed to continue without some form of discipline, the worse that person will become later in life. I know there are gong to idiots who say "I was never spanked and I turned out fine"....I'll flat out say, I question your honesty.....

I gave you the benefit of the doubt in not calling you a child abuser. Now you are calling me a liar. Perhaps you did not turn out as polite and reasonable as you think you did. I would like also to know what events in my life you monitor to come to such a conclusion. If your momma taught you right, the next post will be your apology and retraction.

A well placed swat on the backside of a toddler (it doesn't have to be hard) can do more good for behavior than an entire pharmacy. And your children will grow up well mannered, focused, and happy.

Oh, I see. You are an expert in psychiatry. You are guaranteeing me that if I swat my toddlers they will "grow up well mannered, focused, and happy." Could you refer me to the journals where you have published your scientific results? And if you are wrong, who is your malpractice insurance carrier so I can file my claim?

So your theories are subject to scientific verification. If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do. Your choice.

There are no guaranties when it come to kids,other than if you don't discipline you will be very sorry.

 

[NoNukes]

The only time that it would ever be right to hit another person would be in self defense. I have never touched my children or threatened to do so, and they are beautiful, well behaved children. Hitting children is lazy parenting.

 

[LordBrownTrout]

We used to get hit by yardsticks, erasers, paddles with holes in them back in elementary and grade school.

 

[oldfart]

My step-son was spanked only once, and very lightly at that. He never behaved to the point where it was required to administer a second. The same with My two sons. They were spanked, lightly, when they acted up, at an early enough age that the discipline did not need to be harsh to be effective.

I would agree that such punishment is not abuse and could be effective.



I gave you the benefit of the doubt in not calling you a child abuser. Now you are calling me a liar. Perhaps you did not turn out as polite and reasonable as you think you did. I would like also to know what events in my life you monitor to come to such a conclusion. If your momma taught you right, the next post will be your apology and retraction.

A well placed swat on the backside of a toddler (it doesn't have to be hard) can do more good for behavior than an entire pharmacy. And your children will grow up well mannered, focused, and happy.

Oh, I see. You are an expert in psychiatry. You are guaranteeing me that if I swat my toddlers they will "grow up well mannered, focused, and happy." Could you refer me to the journals where you have published your scientific results? And if you are wrong, who is your malpractice insurance carrier so I can file my claim?

So your theories are subject to scientific verification. If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do. Your choice.

Not to defend or condemn Darkwind's positions, but wtf? Where did he claim any sort of scientific background for his opinions?

And nice attempt to shame him into an apology. If he 'backs down', he's rational and well functioning. Otherwise.....

I'm trying to see how your insults are more 'adult' than his.

To begin with, do you see anything wrong with stating in CDZ that anyone who you do not believe in a statement about their life must be a liar? This is a violation in that it is "name-calling". Do you disagree with that statement?

Secondly, I used sarcasm to underline the ridiculous position taken by Darkwind in claiming knowledge of someone's life (who he does not know) in order to draw a conclusion as to the veracity of that person. Is your objection to my use of sarcasm or to defend Darkwind's right to make absurd claims and not be called on them?

Third, I take your comment on my logical tactic of "shaming" Darkwing into an apology as a compliment. Everyone should be given an opportunity to back down from an unsupportable position as gracefully as possible.

As to what posts are "adult", you seem to be determined to defend outrageous personal attacks in the CDZ, a position that will destroy the CDZ (it has already done about 99% of that job). Is that what you want CDZ to be, a refuge for touchy-feely whining about posts from others you do not know so you get to make unsupported insults on them?

If I sound a bit irritated, it might be because CDZ has become a place for bigotry to be protected from logical attack, and I see no way to drive this kind of post out of our discourse other than by ridicule. Would you care to suggest a better way?

I have not insulted Darkwing. I have exposed the weakness in his position. If you feel that Darkwing may have overextended his position and can rightly be asked to recant it, but feel that I have been excessively abrasive, I can understand that point. If this is the case I welcome any suggestions on how collectively we can reduce the number of such posts in a more congenial manner. So far I haven't seen it work that way.

Note I have made no personal attack on you or Darkwing. I have stated by objections and reasoning to the posts you have made. I have made apologies when called on my language before and I stand ready to do so again when shown the error of my ways. I realize that many posters seem unable to tell the difference between an attack on the content of something they have posted and an attack on themselves. This is unfortunate, but the solution is not to complain when someone is called on a ridiculous statement or makes a personal attack. Do you agree?

 

[Montrovant]

I would agree that such punishment is not abuse and could be effective.



I gave you the benefit of the doubt in not calling you a child abuser. Now you are calling me a liar. Perhaps you did not turn out as polite and reasonable as you think you did. I would like also to know what events in my life you monitor to come to such a conclusion. If your momma taught you right, the next post will be your apology and retraction.



Oh, I see. You are an expert in psychiatry. You are guaranteeing me that if I swat my toddlers they will "grow up well mannered, focused, and happy." Could you refer me to the journals where you have published your scientific results? And if you are wrong, who is your malpractice insurance carrier so I can file my claim?

So your theories are subject to scientific verification. If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do. Your choice.

Not to defend or condemn Darkwind's positions, but wtf? Where did he claim any sort of scientific background for his opinions?

And nice attempt to shame him into an apology. If he 'backs down', he's rational and well functioning. Otherwise.....

I'm trying to see how your insults are more 'adult' than his.

To begin with, do you see anything wrong with stating in CDZ that anyone who you do not believe in a statement about their life must be a liar? This is a violation in that it is "name-calling". Do you disagree with that statement?

Secondly, I used sarcasm to underline the ridiculous position taken by Darkwind in claiming knowledge of someone's life (who he does not know) in order to draw a conclusion as to the veracity of that person. Is your objection to my use of sarcasm or to defend Darkwind's right to make absurd claims and not be called on them?

Third, I take your comment on my logical tactic of "shaming" Darkwing into an apology as a compliment. Everyone should be given an opportunity to back down from an unsupportable position as gracefully as possible.

As to what posts are "adult", you seem to be determined to defend outrageous personal attacks in the CDZ, a position that will destroy the CDZ (it has already done about 99% of that job). Is that what you want CDZ to be, a refuge for touchy-feely whining about posts from others you do not know so you get to make unsupported insults on them?

If I sound a bit irritated, it might be because CDZ has become a place for bigotry to be protected from logical attack, and I see no way to drive this kind of post out of our discourse other than by ridicule. Would you care to suggest a better way?

I have not insulted Darkwing. I have exposed the weakness in his position. If you feel that Darkwing may have overextended his position and can rightly be asked to recant it, but feel that I have been excessively abrasive, I can understand that point. If this is the case I welcome any suggestions on how collectively we can reduce the number of such posts in a more congenial manner. So far I haven't seen it work that way.

Note I have made no personal attack on you or Darkwing. I have stated by objections and reasoning to the posts you have made. I have made apologies when called on my language before and I stand ready to do so again when shown the error of my ways. I realize that many posters seem unable to tell the difference between an attack on the content of something they have posted and an attack on themselves. This is unfortunate, but the solution is not to complain when someone is called on a ridiculous statement or makes a personal attack. Do you agree?

You may not have directly insulted him, but you certainly implied insult. And to be clear, Darkwind never actually called you or anyone else a liar. He said he 'questioned the honesty' of someone who claimed to have never been spanked and turned out fine.

In both cases, I think it's a kind of implied rudeness.

I realize that you didn't start it but were reacting to it. I also can understand feeling upset or insulted by his statement; as I said, I consider it an indirect insult. However, complaining about insults in the CDZ seems pretty pointless to me if you are doing the same in response. To me, your statement, "If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do." is just as much an insult as his questioning your honesty about not being spanked. In both cases the insult seems pretty clear to me, but there's enough wiggle room to claim it is not intended that way.

In any case, this is already becoming more of an issue than it should. As I said at the beginning of my previous post, I wasn't trying to defend Darkwing's statements. I'm sorry if you took it as such.

 

[oldfart]

There are no guaranties when it come to kids,other than if you don't discipline you will be very sorry.

The research seems to be to the contrary. If my grasp of grammar is correct you just guaranteed that any kid who was not "disciplined" will make the parent "very sorry"? Is this about discipline in general, or is physical punishment a requirement in your experience to raise any child?

 

[oldfart]

You may not have directly insulted him, but you certainly implied insult. And to be clear, Darkwind never actually called you or anyone else a liar. He said he 'questioned the honesty' of someone who claimed to have never been spanked and turned out fine.

In both cases, I think it's a kind of implied rudeness.

I realize that you didn't start it but were reacting to it. I also can understand feeling upset or insulted by his statement; as I said, I consider it an indirect insult. However, complaining about insults in the CDZ seems pretty pointless to me if you are doing the same in response. To me, your statement, "If you can back down from your overextended position, you are a rational and well functioning human being. If you cannot, then you obviously have some additional growing up to do." is just as much an insult as his questioning your honesty about not being spanked. In both cases the insult seems pretty clear to me, but there's enough wiggle room to claim it is not intended that way.

In any case, this is already becoming more of an issue than it should. As I said at the beginning of my previous post, I wasn't trying to defend Darkwing's statements. I'm sorry if you took it as such.

I take your point. You are correct that there is a Kabuki theater element to this. I try to respond as close to the tone and level of the post I find offensive as I can. I try to make a point of what I consider sloppy posting here. I made a gentler chide to another post in this thread, so we get to see if it has better results. If it does, I cheerfully back off.

 

[jasonnfree]

Depends on the kid. I helped raise 2 nieces, and 2 of my own and now a ten year old grandson, For some kids, getting physical is the only way to get the message across.

 

[Jarlaxle]

spare the rod, spoil the child. there is a lot of truth to that one.

Only to a sadistic pervert.

 

[Jarlaxle]

spare the rod, spoil the child. there is a lot of truth to that one.

Rod the child, including into their early teens, speak to them like they're dirt...first chance they get they'll move to the other end of the nation, and take their little kids with them.

...or spike Sunday dinner with rat poison.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Gracie and others have it right, there is a big difference between spanking and child abuse. My wife had to raise our children a lot on her own cause I was gone a lot. The famous wooden spoon is legion in our family and spankings were seldom and done after mom and dad deliberated on the merits. What til your daddy gets home was and had to be a threat. When in public her tactic was to tell the children don't embarrass me in this rest. In front of all these people or I will rip your hair out. Mine was to grab them by the bicep lifting them up while whispering sweet nothings in their ears. We always had many complements about how well behaved our children were and it wasn't because they were cowed in fear, they just knew what the limitations were.
In today's psychobabble universe children are supposed to be addressed as equals instead of having a parent child relationship. I noticed with our own kids that constant yelling and empty threats pass for discipline. After a while the kids just tune them out and ignore them leading to more yelling. But there are not any discipline problems when they come to stay with Grama and papa. Makes ya wonder!
I always marvel how in this new age we seem obligated to reinvent something that has gone on for millennia. While nothing is perfect, could we not take a page from our own history and instead of reinventing revisit the mores that created the greatest generation or is that too passe to be relevant anymore.
My wife often tells the story of eating Sunday dinner with her parents. She was an only child and adored her father. Life was difficult back then and the meals often had a sameness to them. On this particular occasion she made the mistake of saying do we have to eat beans again. Before she finished the sentence, her father, who had been a welterweight boxer, backhanded her and sent her and the chair tumbling backwards. He never said a word and kept on eating and she never complained about eating beans again or ever forgot that experience.

Her father was a psychopath and should have been tortured to death for it. She should have killed him for it...ideally in a horrifyingly-painful manner. (Burning alive, ground glass in his food, drowning in raw sewage, etc.)

 

[Jarlaxle]

Does spanking kids work?

Yeah it does. So does switching, belting, fly swattering and paddling. When my full name came out of her mouth, my behind was going to get tanned. She didn't do it because she was angry, she did it because it set me straight.

More likely, she did it to get her jollies, because she enjoyed it. I wonder if pounding on you was enough to give her an orgasm...

 

[Jarlaxle]

We used to get hit by yardsticks, erasers, paddles with holes in them back in elementary and grade school.

I was hit with 2x4's, hammers, bricks, brooms, softball bats, and skillets...what's yer point?

 

[asterism]

Gracie and others have it right, there is a big difference between spanking and child abuse. My wife had to raise our children a lot on her own cause I was gone a lot. The famous wooden spoon is legion in our family and spankings were seldom and done after mom and dad deliberated on the merits. What til your daddy gets home was and had to be a threat. When in public her tactic was to tell the children don't embarrass me in this rest. In front of all these people or I will rip your hair out. Mine was to grab them by the bicep lifting them up while whispering sweet nothings in their ears. We always had many complements about how well behaved our children were and it wasn't because they were cowed in fear, they just knew what the limitations were.
In today's psychobabble universe children are supposed to be addressed as equals instead of having a parent child relationship. I noticed with our own kids that constant yelling and empty threats pass for discipline. After a while the kids just tune them out and ignore them leading to more yelling. But there are not any discipline problems when they come to stay with Grama and papa. Makes ya wonder!
I always marvel how in this new age we seem obligated to reinvent something that has gone on for millennia. While nothing is perfect, could we not take a page from our own history and instead of reinventing revisit the mores that created the greatest generation or is that too passe to be relevant anymore.
My wife often tells the story of eating Sunday dinner with her parents. She was an only child and adored her father. Life was difficult back then and the meals often had a sameness to them. On this particular occasion she made the mistake of saying do we have to eat beans again. Before she finished the sentence, her father, who had been a welterweight boxer, backhanded her and sent her and the chair tumbling backwards. He never said a word and kept on eating and she never complained about eating beans again or ever forgot that experience.

Her father was a psychopath and should have been tortured to death for it. She should have killed him for it...ideally in a horrifyingly-painful manner. (Burning alive, ground glass in his food, drowning in raw sewage, etc.)

And you call someone who spanks a sadist?

 

[chikenwing]

There are no guaranties when it come to kids,other than if you don't discipline you will be very sorry.

The research seems to be to the contrary. If my grasp of grammar is correct you just guaranteed that any kid who was not "disciplined" will make the parent "very sorry"? Is this about discipline in general, or is physical punishment a requirement in your experience to raise any child?

So you do understand,even when you don't want to.

Its simple,you let your children raise themselves you will be sorry,or damn lucky. Discipline doesn't mean you are physically beating,as you so wish I meant.

 

[Chaussette]

Spanking kids is barbaric. If you can't raise children without beating them, you shouldn't be having children in the first place.

 

[chikenwing]

There is nothing wrong with spanking a child for disciplinary reasons, period...

Now beating your child is a different issue...

My wife disciplined our oldest daughter many years ago in the grocery store and a women came up to her and said it wasn't necessary to do that, my wife quickly and politely told her to mind her own business...

She was lucky. I would have stopped he,r, by any means necessary (with lethal force, if required).

Really the internet tough guy

 

[chikenwing]

Spanking kids is barbaric. If you can't raise children without beating them, you shouldn't be having children in the first place.

Your opinion nothing more

 

[R.D.]

There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

Because you were disciplined?? Come on, look for the real reasons for your troubles

Been spanked and spanked. Smart kids only need to be spanked once or twice and smart parents know that

 

[Chaussette]

Spanking kids is barbaric. If you can't raise children without beating them, you shouldn't be having children in the first place.

Your opinion nothing more

Think about it, if you can't raise your children without beating them, you're simply too dumb to have children because you can't think of any other way except beating them.