Does Spanking kids Work?

Situational thought experiment;

Your 4 year old gregarious child climbs up onto the kitchen stove and is about to place a hand on a hot burner.

Do you...

A) Grab the child off the stove and give a lecture.

B) Grab the child off the stove and give a spank.

C) Let the child figure it out by trial and error.

??

Warn the child the first time, and tell the child that it is hot, and they should not touch. If the child ignores my warning, I'd let them touch the burner.

They will never touch it again, and will listen to me when I say that something is hot. Sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

That, my dear, is child abuse. Please don't reproduce. Thank you.
 
Situational thought experiment;

Your 4 year old gregarious child climbs up onto the kitchen stove and is about to place a hand on a hot burner.

Do you...

A) Grab the child off the stove and give a lecture.

B) Grab the child off the stove and give a spank.

C) Let the child figure it out by trial and error.

??

Warn the child the first time, and tell the child that it is hot, and they should not touch. If the child ignores my warning, I'd let them touch the burner.

They will never touch it again, and will listen to me when I say that something is hot. Sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

That, my dear, is child abuse. Please don't reproduce. Thank you.

It is not child abuse. How many times do you slap the child before the child understands not to touch? Or let the child touch what is hot, knowing that you can care for them afterward, and that they will never go near that stove top again?

I remember my neighbours child, who was about three at the time, always putting her fingers in the doorjam of the wardrobe. She was told repeatedly to remove her fingers, because they would get stuck in it. She refused to listen to our warnings. So we let her leave her fingers in the door, and closed the door on her fingers.

After she screamed her head off, and a cuddle from mum, she never, ever stuck her fingers in the doorjam ever again.

Child abuse? Hell no.
 
I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was spanked by both parents and am arguably a well-adjusted considerate person. On the other hand, studies do indicate negative outcomes. So I think it's dependent on child-rearing methods overall moreso than solely whether you spank or not.

Properly implemented, negative reinforcement while less-effective than positive, can indeed work. But if it's done properly, it shouldn't be a life-long thing as kids learn what gets a spanking and what gets rewarded. Nor should the spank be about pain but rather an 'attention getter.' To be effective, negative reinforcement has to be done immediately after an undesired behaviour. So the 'you just wait until your father gets home' wont cut it. That's then merely punitive punishment, but not effective training. To result in learning what's proper, spanks need to be done immediately so the child associates the punishment with the undesireable behaviour.
 
Warn the child the first time, and tell the child that it is hot, and they should not touch. If the child ignores my warning, I'd let them touch the burner.

They will never touch it again, and will listen to me when I say that something is hot. Sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

That, my dear, is child abuse. Please don't reproduce. Thank you.

It is not child abuse. How many times do you slap the child before the child understands not to touch? Or let the child touch what is hot, knowing that you can care for them afterward, and that they will never go near that stove top again?

I remember my neighbours child, who was about three at the time, always putting her fingers in the doorjam of the wardrobe. She was told repeatedly to remove her fingers, because they would get stuck in it. She refused to listen to our warnings. So we let her leave her fingers in the door, and closed the door on her fingers.

After she screamed her head off, and a cuddle from mum, she never, ever stuck her fingers in the doorjam ever again.

Child abuse? Hell no.

Allowing a child to burn themselves while you watch is child abuse. That isn't even negotiable. Anyway, not derailing this thread.
 
Well it certainly works for something.

Question is what does spanking kids work toward?



Would any of you object if I pointed out the obvious?

That spanking does not have the same effect on every kid?

Now I realize that this place exists in a world of BLACK AND WHITE, but this place in no way represents the real world.
 
This something that has interest me for quite awhile now. Since I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong and for the most part I came out fine other than my Depression that I still haven't kicked out of.

But for the most part a sane human being. But new this new data of people who spank their kids for the most part do not do well in schools and are more aggressive is this old school way of discipline hurting are kids this the question I ask you guys here.

Do Not Hit Your Children with Belts - YouTube

Study Links Spanking Kids To Aggression, Language Problems

Maternal spanking at age 5, even at low levels, was associated with higher levels of child externalizing behavior at age 9, even after an array of risks and earlier child behavior were controlled for. Father’s high-frequency spanking at age 5 was associated with lower child receptive vocabulary scores at age 9.

Womanist Musings: Dear Black Community: Beating Children With Belts Is Not Discipline, It's Abuse

He further goes on to state that he is going to give the child a reason to cry and then beats him some more. In the next scene we see the child outside with a tear streaked face. The father makes him run, crab walk and then do push ups. When he realizes that the child did the push up on his knees he accuses him of cheating and demands 15 push ups. At the end of the video you see the child doing a push up with strain more than evident on his face with the words job well done on the screen.

That's because spanking does not work.

Beating them, however.........:mm:
 
Does spanking work for who? For the kid? It didn't work so well for me. But I wasn't "spanked" so much as beat with a belt. Those welts! My Dad would have gone to jail today. Back in the 60ties? Nah. Hell men barely went to jail for beating their wives half to death.

Might have been ok IF I had been smart enough to keep from getting that belt more than once. But not me. Or IF I had had enough sense to cry out. But no. I was gonna take that beating like a man and not cry. No matter how much it hurt.

I do remember when I got big enough to say that I was through with that belt. My Dad was surprised. But he didn't beat me anymore. My Dad was also a crazy alcoholic.

Did beating me with a belt help me? LMAO. No. I would have still been an asshole even if I hadn't been whipped like that. It's in my nature.

I raised three kids. All fine and dandy. I smacked one kid one time with my open hand.
Felt so bad I cried for days. But I didn't let my kid know. That's what my beatings gave me; empathy.

I did like to use the index finger flip. That "thunk" did get their attention when it wandered some where it shouldn't have been.

Don't beat your kids with a belt. You will go to jail. And it won't really do your kids any good. And you will feel bad for it. Someday.

A deep, stern voice, an evil eye and a good finger thump will do the trick for punishment much better. Take it from an old guy who was beat.
 
yes, I think absolutely it does. you don't beat the hell out of your kids, but the occasional wack as a wakeup call or attention getter makes the point.
 
The practice is some 300 year behind the times.


"Such a sort of slavish discipline makes a slavish temper. The child submits, and dissembles obedience, whilst the fear of the rod hangs over him; but when that is remov'd, and by being out of sight, he can promise himself impunity, he gives the greater scope to his natural inclination; which by this way is not at all alter'd, but, on the contrary, heighten'd and increas'd in him; and after such restraint, breaks out usually with the more violence; or... If severity carry'd to the highest pitch does prevail, and works a cure upon the present unruly distemper, it often brings in the room of it a worse and more dangerous disease, by breaking the mind; and then, in the place of a disorderly young fellow, you have a low spirited moap'd creature, who, however with his unnatural sobriety he may please silly people, who commend tame unactive children, because they make no noise, nor give them any trouble; yet at last, will probably prove as uncomfortable a thing to his friends, as he will be all his life an useless thing to himself and others."

-- John Locke; from 'Some Thoughts Concerning Education' (1692)
 
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Spanking sends a message. The message is that if you are bigger than someone else, it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical pain. In short, this is how bullies are born. It is also a fact that those who are victims of physical abiuse as a child tend to abuse children themselves as they grow up.
 
Spanking sends a message. The message is that if you are bigger than someone else, it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical pain. In short, this is how bullies are born. It is also a fact that those who are victims of physical abiuse as a child tend to abuse children themselves as they grow up.

Wouldn't any form of discipline send the message that if you are bigger than someone else it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical or emotional pain?
 
Well it certainly works for something.

Question is what does spanking kids work toward?



Would any of you object if I pointed out the obvious?

That spanking does not have the same effect on every kid?

Now I realize that this place exists in a world of BLACK AND WHITE, but this place in no way represents the real world.

What spanking works toward is teaching kids that actions have consequence's sometimes negative ones I would also point out that the more passive form of discipline like timeouts also does not work on every kid as you correctly point out it's not a black and white or one size fits all world.
 
Spanking sends a message. The message is that if you are bigger than someone else, it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical pain. In short, this is how bullies are born. It is also a fact that those who are victims of physical abiuse as a child tend to abuse children themselves as they grow up.

Wouldn't any form of discipline send the message that if you are bigger than someone else it is OK to enforce your will on them by inducing physical or emotional pain?

Interesting point!
 
I never believed in hitting the little ones. I watched mine like a hawk until they were old enough to understand then I talked their little heads off until they got it. My daughter accused me of being over protective when she was about 8. Imagine that. :lol:

She probably wished I'd have hit her instead.
 
Are there any parents of boy's that never use physical discipline? So far to my knowledge everyone on this thread that never use physical disipline have girls.
 
Are there any parents of boy's that never use physical discipline? So far to my knowledge everyone on this thread that never use physical disipline have girls.

I wouldn't raise my hand to a little boy either. To me, it's the easy way out, you have to make them understand what it is you want them to stop doing, not that you can win by hitting them.
 
There is never any need to use physical punishment when it comes to children. You cannot tell your kids that its wrong to hit someone, yet hit them yourself. Sends the wrong message.

And no, I don't have kids, and yes, I was smacked a few times as a kid - and I turned out to be depressed, suicidal, and prone to outbursts of violence. If I ever have kids, I will refuse to lay a finger on them.

You can't make such broad-brushed absolutes. Your mental issues may have been exacerbated by abuse, but spanking is not the cause. I was spanked quite a bit and I deserved every single lick. I rarely spank my own kids but sometimes it's the only thing to get their attention. I have one child I've never spanked because it wouldn't work on her if I did.

I've seen parents who look down on anyone for spanking kids use cruel emotional abuse, bullying tactics, and withholding affection as forms of punishment. Those are much more damaging than a smack on the butt.

The key to discipline is to do it all out of a position of love instead of anger, to educate children on the reasons and consequences, and to let them make and learn from mistakes early.
 

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