Breaking News! Romney's debate zingers have been released!

[courseofhistory]

Obama stole my bad, I mean good, no bad health care idea

Mr. Moderator, can I buy a vowel?

Whatever he just said, I said it first and I stand by that!

Ann is a stay at 5 homes mom

Obamacare. I built that!

Kenya believe my opponent ruined the economy?

I Was So Poor At College….I Had To Sell Some Of My Offshore Hedge Fund Certificates

*Waving hand wildly in the air* I know the answer to that even though my opponent doesn't. *smug look* Blind trusts are a ruse..... oh, wait, wait it's The national debt stupid! Oh, no wait, wait, that should be "WHAT IS the national debt? Maybe I should have chosen blind trusts for 500?

That's my final answer and whatever it was, I stand by it!

Mr. Obama has too many details. It is very confusing. I stand by that, whatever it was!

Well, as I've said before, blind trusts are a ruse. That's why I have one!

53% of the American people are quite intelligent and I stand by that too!

I have no disorder *twitching and blinking*

Listen, I cover both sides of an issue, just in case. I think. I don't want to be specific because people won't vote for me then; my wife Ann says so!

I will have my opponent know that I support our military. I'm an honorary state trooper! I can show you my uniform!

My plan for the Middle East is to......bomb, er ah, the bomb!

I will bet my opponent $10,000 that I have more money than he does! So obviously I'm better at math for the wealthy than he is!

I'm not concerned about poor people for they will be poor always! They have a safety net if you can visualize that big fishing net in the sky.

Listen, my whole family is patriotic. My sons, especially who didn't serve in the military but who are showing their patriotism by helping me get elected. As my wife says about other republicans criticizing me, "You get out there in the political trenches and see how hard it is! Or some such thing as that! Elegantly stated to boot!"

My first executive order on day one will be a mandate for roll-down windows on airplanes. Heck, what's more important? A pressurized cabin or being able to inhale that fresh low level oxygen at 30,000 ft? Sheesh!

I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed but I have that $350,000 that I make weekly to tide me over.

 

[there4eyeM]

What debate? The two party tango posing as democracy?

 

[courseofhistory]

Well, Mitt is prepared!!! I hear he took dance lessons too!

 

[Dick Tuck]

"I know how it feels to struggle. When my car elevator didn't work, I had to call a limo service. But I'm a job creator."

 

[Mad Scientist]

What debate? The two party tango posing as democracy?

I didn't watch either Convention and I won't watch the debates. They're not gonna' say anything they haven't already said.

Whatever candidate stumbles to find or formulate his answer, that will be reported as a "Major Gaffe" like the Kennedy/Nixon thing.

 

[courseofhistory]

"I know how it feels to struggle. When my car elevator didn't work, I had to call a limo service. But I'm a job creator."

I write for the Onion too!

 

[Stephanie]

well don't give up your real job

 

[courseofhistory]

The debate zingers are being leaked right and left. Mittens needs to put his finger in the damn or maybe that would be his foot!

"America can't afford 4 more years of Obama's failed policies. It's time to try Bush's failed policies again."

At Bain, I could only send jobs overseas one company at a time. Imagine what I can do when I'm president!

"Mr Lehrer, could I try Caymans tax rules for $200?"

"My wife has expressed concerns about my mental well-being. She says my car elevator doesn't go all the way to the top."

#RomneyDebateLines Ask not what your country can do for you; ask where you can invest outside this country.

Medicare is just like companies I used to get a hold of, empty the cash out of, then outsource the skeleton remainder

RomneyDebateLines That's right, my RomneyRyan budget plan will add $5 trillion to debt immediately - but the wealthy will have tax cuts!

 

[there4eyeM]

Possible headlines coming soon to news sources near you:

"Mittens takes off gloves!"

"The Kenya Killer knocks out knight of rigorous right!"

"Romney gets the Book thrown at him"

"The Right receives a Left hook"

"Romney shows the right way"

"When Romney isn't right, Obama is still left"

"Recess called in class war"

"Classless debate sooths worried wealthy"

"O and R disqualify each other."

"Gary Johnson winner after debate"

more later?....

 

[blackhawk]

We all know the Obama answer to every economic question the same one it's been for almost four years now it's not my fault.

 

[Darkwind]

Well, we know Obama's entire debate strategy.

Booooosshhhhhhhhhhhh!

Obama is one and done.

 

[rdean]

Obama stole my bad, I mean good, no bad health care idea

Mr. Moderator, can I buy a vowel?

Whatever he just said, I said it first and I stand by that!

Ann is a stay at 5 homes mom

Obamacare. I built that!

Kenya believe my opponent ruined the economy?

I Was So Poor At College….I Had To Sell Some Of My Offshore Hedge Fund Certificates

*Waving hand wildly in the air* I know the answer to that even though my opponent doesn't. *smug look* Blind trusts are a ruse..... oh, wait, wait it's The national debt stupid! Oh, no wait, wait, that should be "WHAT IS the national debt? Maybe I should have chosen blind trusts for 500?

That's my final answer and whatever it was, I stand by it!

Mr. Obama has too many details. It is very confusing. I stand by that, whatever it was!

Well, as I've said before, blind trusts are a ruse. That's why I have one!

53% of the American people are quite intelligent and I stand by that too!

I have no disorder *twitching and blinking*

Listen, I cover both sides of an issue, just in case. I think. I don't want to be specific because people won't vote for me then; my wife Ann says so!

I will have my opponent know that I support our military. I'm an honorary state trooper! I can show you my uniform!

My plan for the Middle East is to......bomb, er ah, the bomb!

I will bet my opponent $10,000 that I have more money than he does! So obviously I'm better at math for the wealthy than he is!

I'm not concerned about poor people for they will be poor always! They have a safety net if you can visualize that big fishing net in the sky.

Listen, my whole family is patriotic. My sons, especially who didn't serve in the military but who are showing their patriotism by helping me get elected. As my wife says about other republicans criticizing me, "You get out there in the political trenches and see how hard it is! Or some such thing as that! Elegantly stated to boot!"

My first executive order on day one will be a mandate for roll-down windows on airplanes. Heck, what's more important? A pressurized cabin or being able to inhale that fresh low level oxygen at 30,000 ft? Sheesh!

I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed but I have that $350,000 that I make weekly to tide me over.

Oh, that was just hilarious. Obama has to be careful he doesn't hit Mitt too hard or people might feel sympathetic.

On the other hand, Mitt Romney and his campaign has lied so often and so much, he has to be careful he doesn't end up debating the moderator. The moderator will be even more prepared than either candidate.

 

[Katzndogz]

Well, we know Obama's entire debate strategy.

Booooosshhhhhhhhhhhh!

Obama is one and done.

obama's debate strategy, stammer and have the democrats make up what he said later.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIqzvTgowJc]Barack Obama Speech Impediment Mr. Stammer Man - YouTube[/ame]

 

[courseofhistory]

Oh to be fair, I did some counter zingers for Obama to use!

I hear Obama got wind of Mittens' debate zingers so he's having the FBI investigate, but like in Libya, they probably won't be allowed access!

Nevertheless, he has prepared some counter zingers just in case!

I hear Obama got wind of Mittens' debate zingers so he's having the FBI investigate, but like in Libya, they probably won't be allowed access!

Nevertheless, he has prepared some counter zingers just in case!


Quote:
You didn't build that! I did and don't forget it!

I killed bin Laden! Damn, those kevlar vests are Heeeeaaaaavy! I was sweating like a pig!

"We're the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad." Getting those damned locomotives to float was the pits!

One of our finest I hear retired and went into the mortuary business. We thank Navy Corpse-Man Christian Brossard for his service and continuing service to his country!

*thumbs up* I see many of our fallen heroes in the audience today!

Why can't I just eat my waffle? Damn! I think I just broke a tooth! That thing would make a good frizbee.

Damn! Visiting those 57 states in 2008 was really exhausting so this election cycle I'm just limiting it to the states that joined the Union before the Civil War.

There are some zingers I can't remember that someone else built for me.

Listen, Netanyahu is going to blow the smithereens out of Iran, so what's the point in meeting the little hawk?

I was for the spontaneous attack in Libya before I was against it.

My opponent seems to think he as the answers, whatever they are and stands by them!

I love America and the American way because Americans work hard for America and the American way. You can't get anymore American that that.

I'mablabbermouth, leader of Iran, wants to wipe our friends in Israel off the map and make Jerusalem the capital of Islam. Say, I'ma, do you have a few hundred years to wait for the radioactivity to die down in your country and Israel? Geiger counters much?

I'm in frequent phone contact with Bibi *under his breath* The pesky little hawk!

Jeez, I hope all my zingy zingers don't send Mitt over the edge. *looking out to the audience* What do you think, Ann. Will he be okay?[/

 

[California Girl]

Comes to something when hashtags from twitter count as 'politics'. No wonder the country is so fucked... far too many stupid people.

 

[courseofhistory]

It's f'd up because Republicans have NO sense of humor! And, the debates are politics and the zingers are a political topic since Romney plans to use them. Sheesh!

 

[jasonnfree]

Nice try, Obama does have a stutter but this vid is altered. Romney stammers also because he always has to remember what he's for and against because his position has changed so much.
Obama's a better speaker and wlll probably outshine Romney. I don't think debates matter as much as how much money the billionaires will spend on tv commercials for Romney the last week or two and many dirty tricks repubs have up their sleeves in the voter suppression area also rigging electronic voting.

Well, we know Obama's entire debate strategy.

Booooosshhhhhhhhhhhh!

Obama is one and done.

obama's debate strategy, stammer and have the democrats make up what he said later.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIqzvTgowJc]Barack Obama Speech Impediment Mr. Stammer Man - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Remodeling Maidiac]

Shouldn't this liberal circle jerk be in the rubber room?

 

[California Girl]

It's f'd up because Republicans have NO sense of humor! And, the debates are politics and the zingers are a political topic since Romney plans to use them. Sheesh!

It's not 'politics'.

A bunch of copy and pastes from twitter is, despite your desperation, not 'politics'. It's just a bunch of shit from one side.... Try running a search on #ObamaDebateLines.

 

[courseofhistory]

It's f'd up because Republicans have NO sense of humor! And, the debates are politics and the zingers are a political topic since Romney plans to use them. Sheesh!

It's not 'politics'.

A bunch of copy and pastes from twitter is, despite your desperation, not 'politics'. It's just a bunch of shit from one side.... Try running a search on #ObamaDebateLines.

Typical incorrect republican accusations. A few are from twitter and most are my own. If you don't believe me, google them and if anything pulls up you'll see they were likely posted by me (unless a few people may have used a few elewhere). Get a life and a sense of humor!