Breaking News! Romney's debate zingers have been released!

Discussion in 'Politics' started by courseofhistory, Sep 30, 2012.

  1. courseofhistory
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    courseofhistory BANNED

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    Obama stole my bad, I mean good, no bad health care idea

    Mr. Moderator, can I buy a vowel?

    Whatever he just said, I said it first and I stand by that!

    Ann is a stay at 5 homes mom

    Obamacare. I built that!

    Kenya believe my opponent ruined the economy?

    I Was So Poor At College….I Had To Sell Some Of My Offshore Hedge Fund Certificates

    *Waving hand wildly in the air* I know the answer to that even though my opponent doesn't. *smug look* Blind trusts are a ruse..... oh, wait, wait it's The national debt stupid! Oh, no wait, wait, that should be "WHAT IS the national debt? Maybe I should have chosen blind trusts for 500?

    That's my final answer and whatever it was, I stand by it!

    Mr. Obama has too many details. It is very confusing. I stand by that, whatever it was!

    Well, as I've said before, blind trusts are a ruse. That's why I have one!

    53% of the American people are quite intelligent and I stand by that too!

    I have no disorder *twitching and blinking*

    Listen, I cover both sides of an issue, just in case. I think. I don't want to be specific because people won't vote for me then; my wife Ann says so!

    I will have my opponent know that I support our military. I'm an honorary state trooper! I can show you my uniform!

    My plan for the Middle East is to......bomb, er ah, the bomb!

    I will bet my opponent $10,000 that I have more money than he does! So obviously I'm better at math for the wealthy than he is!

    I'm not concerned about poor people for they will be poor always! They have a safety net if you can visualize that big fishing net in the sky.

    Listen, my whole family is patriotic. My sons, especially who didn't serve in the military but who are showing their patriotism by helping me get elected. As my wife says about other republicans criticizing me, "You get out there in the political trenches and see how hard it is! Or some such thing as that! Elegantly stated to boot!"

    My first executive order on day one will be a mandate for roll-down windows on airplanes. Heck, what's more important? A pressurized cabin or being able to inhale that fresh low level oxygen at 30,000 ft? Sheesh!

    I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed but I have that $350,000 that I make weekly to tide me over.



     
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    Last edited: Sep 30, 2012
  2. there4eyeM
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    there4eyeM unlicensed metaphysician

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    What debate? The two party tango posing as democracy?
     
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  3. courseofhistory
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    courseofhistory BANNED

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    Well, Mitt is prepared!!! I hear he took dance lessons too!
     
  4. Dick Tuck
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    Dick Tuck Board Troll

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    "I know how it feels to struggle. When my car elevator didn't work, I had to call a limo service. But I'm a job creator."
     
  5. Mad Scientist
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    Mad Scientist Deplorable Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    I didn't watch either Convention and I won't watch the debates. They're not gonna' say anything they haven't already said.

    Whatever candidate stumbles to find or formulate his answer, that will be reported as a "Major Gaffe" like the Kennedy/Nixon thing.
     
  6. courseofhistory
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    courseofhistory BANNED

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    :badgrin:

    I write for the Onion too!:D
     
  7. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    well don't give up your real job
     
  8. courseofhistory
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    courseofhistory BANNED

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    The debate zingers are being leaked right and left. Mittens needs to put his finger in the damn or maybe that would be his foot!:D

     
  9. there4eyeM
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    there4eyeM unlicensed metaphysician

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    Possible headlines coming soon to news sources near you:

    "Mittens takes off gloves!"

    "The Kenya Killer knocks out knight of rigorous right!"

    "Romney gets the Book thrown at him"

    "The Right receives a Left hook"

    "Romney shows the right way"

    "When Romney isn't right, Obama is still left"

    "Recess called in class war"

    "Classless debate sooths worried wealthy"

    "O and R disqualify each other."

    "Gary Johnson winner after debate"

    more later?....
     
  10. blackhawk
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    blackhawk Gold Member

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    We all know the Obama answer to every economic question the same one it's been for almost four years now it's not my fault.
     
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