Anyone else grieving?

[ricechickie]

I'm so sorry. So you're getting around to the anniversary. I've only been through one so far. It was bad.

Yours is in November?

Right before Thanksgiving. 6 days before his birthday.

Wow. Do you have a lot of family around you that keeps up with you?

I have our kids. Everyone else is pretty far away.

My family is spread out. It was very traumatic because we had lost my cousin in oct, and then my dad died in jan 2013 and then my sister killed herself in June 2013. My dad and sister were alcoholics and so to make matters worse there was already a lot of heartache in our family prior to the deaths because of the addictions causing pain for everyone.

I can't even imagine. This is one loss, and I still feel like I'm recovering. To suffer losses close together like that must have been very difficult for you.

 

[Michelle420]

Yours is in November?

Right before Thanksgiving. 6 days before his birthday.

Wow. Do you have a lot of family around you that keeps up with you?

I have our kids. Everyone else is pretty far away.

My family is spread out. It was very traumatic because we had lost my cousin in oct, and then my dad died in jan 2013 and then my sister killed herself in June 2013. My dad and sister were alcoholics and so to make matters worse there was already a lot of heartache in our family prior to the deaths because of the addictions causing pain for everyone.

I can't even imagine. This is one loss, and I still feel like I'm recovering. To suffer losses close together like that must have been very difficult for you.

It was. It changed me. I used to be sober, spiritual and hopeful. Now I just hope but don't expect much. Also, because I've had two other suicides in my family, I am always worried that if I disagree with someone in my family or have a fight that they could kill themselves if I make them mad and so I never speak up which at times makes me feel suppressed and alone.

 

[Michelle420]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

 

[ricechickie]

Right before Thanksgiving. 6 days before his birthday.

Wow. Do you have a lot of family around you that keeps up with you?

I have our kids. Everyone else is pretty far away.

My family is spread out. It was very traumatic because we had lost my cousin in oct, and then my dad died in jan 2013 and then my sister killed herself in June 2013. My dad and sister were alcoholics and so to make matters worse there was already a lot of heartache in our family prior to the deaths because of the addictions causing pain for everyone.

I can't even imagine. This is one loss, and I still feel like I'm recovering. To suffer losses close together like that must have been very difficult for you.

It was. It changed me. I used to be sober, spiritual and hopeful. Now I just hope but don't expect much. Also, because I've had two other suicides in my family, I am always worried that if I disagree with someone in my family or have a fight that they could kill themselves if I make them mad and so I never speak up which at times makes me feel suppressed and alone.

That's an unfair burden you place on yourself.

I mean, I understand how you feel, but you can't take blame for speaking your mind, if someone handles it badly.

I feel pretty isolated, too, just because no one seems to get it.

 

[ricechickie]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. The kids are pretty supportive.

I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

How about you?

 

[Michelle420]

Wow. Do you have a lot of family around you that keeps up with you?

I have our kids. Everyone else is pretty far away.

My family is spread out. It was very traumatic because we had lost my cousin in oct, and then my dad died in jan 2013 and then my sister killed herself in June 2013. My dad and sister were alcoholics and so to make matters worse there was already a lot of heartache in our family prior to the deaths because of the addictions causing pain for everyone.

I can't even imagine. This is one loss, and I still feel like I'm recovering. To suffer losses close together like that must have been very difficult for you.

It was. It changed me. I used to be sober, spiritual and hopeful. Now I just hope but don't expect much. Also, because I've had two other suicides in my family, I am always worried that if I disagree with someone in my family or have a fight that they could kill themselves if I make them mad and so I never speak up which at times makes me feel suppressed and alone.

That's an unfair burden you place on yourself.

I mean, I understand how you feel, but you can't take blame for speaking your mind, if someone handles it badly.

I feel pretty isolated, too, just because no one seems to get it.

It's not about the blame. It's that I don't want to lose someone and have to feel the sorrow later all because I upset them. It's not worth it ever.

My boyfriends dad passed away a year ago of lung cancer and his parents were married forever too. His mom feels totally alone and lonely. She said even friends she and her husband were friends with act different with her now that he's gone. Like they did things as a couple with other couples and so those couples don't seem to keep up with her as much now.

 

[Michelle420]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

 

[ricechickie]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I like to think I use alcohol, but that I'm not abusing it. At first, it was mindless drinking. Now I try to be mindful.

 

[Dalia]

My husband was DNR. I was there when he took his last breath. His breathing was actually very labored, so when he stopped it was like an explosion of silence.

That it is difficult to lose a person we love, me every time a close person died I did not see him die I was not there only after but my mother was present when my father is gone before he looked at her in the eyes he told her : I would always love you my love.

 

[Michelle420]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I like to think I use alcohol, but that I'm not abusing it. At first, it was mindless drinking. Now I try to be mindful.

I am trying to be mindful too. I am getting more into long walks now that the weather is nice. I am hoping to take two trips in June and keep busy that month. We will see.

 

[Michelle420]

My husband was DNR. I was there when he took his last breath. His breathing was actually very labored, so when he stopped it was like an explosion of silence.

That it is difficult to lose a person we love, me every time a close person died I did not see him die I was not there only after but my mother was present when my father is gone before he looked at her in the eyes he told her : I would always love you my love.

So you lost your dad and brother? I'm so sorry.

 

[Dalia]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

 

[Michelle420]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

 

[Dalia]

My husband was DNR. I was there when he took his last breath. His breathing was actually very labored, so when he stopped it was like an explosion of silence.

That it is difficult to lose a person we love, me every time a close person died I did not see him die I was not there only after but my mother was present when my father is gone before he looked at her in the eyes he told her : I would always love you my love.

So you lost your dad and brother? I'm so sorry.

Yes, my father it is a long time ago 17 years but i worry for my mom she so adorable, but she have a lot people around her who loves and cares for her and that make me happy

 

[Dalia]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

The same for me but the date that reminded me of my brother is the hardest an We had a lot in common then everything makes me think of him, music, film

 

[Michelle420]

Rice what do you do to help yourself get through the grief? Do you have a support group a spiritual or religious belief system?

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

The same for me but the date that reminded me of my brother is the hardest an We had a lot in common then everything makes me think of him, music, film

How long has your brother been gone? I totally understand missing your sibling.

 

[Dalia]

I have my belief that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I put one foot in front of the other. I am not really religious.

I've kept a lot of his stuff around. I talk to people about him. I drink.

They are not all healthy coping mechanisms.

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

The same for me but the date that reminded me of my brother is the hardest an We had a lot in common then everything makes me think of him, music, film

How long has your brother been gone? I totally understand missing your sibling.

He died on December 25, 2015 ... and he was not sick at least I did not know he suddenly died a heart attack his wife my sister-in-law lost in the space of three years her mother, Her father and my brother, she is now alone in the apartment and the times are hard, but I am here for her, she is a good person who has suffered to much.

 

[Michelle420]

Same I turned to some substance abuse. But I am trying to get better now. Sometimes I fail.

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

The same for me but the date that reminded me of my brother is the hardest an We had a lot in common then everything makes me think of him, music, film

How long has your brother been gone? I totally understand missing your sibling.

He died on December 25, 2015 ... and he was not sick at least I did not know he suddenly died a heart attack his wife my sister-in-law lost in the space of three years her mother, Her father and my brother, she is now alone in the apartment and the times are hard, but I am here for her, she is a good person who has suffered to much.

That's still pretty fresh and how awful to happen on Christmas. Your sister in law is lucky to have you still there for her. I understand how she must feel to lose that many people as I lost three in a year.

Just like you and your brother, me and my sister enjoyed music and movies a lot!!!!! So I miss having someone to share that with on the level we did.

 

[TyroneSlothrop]

There are no sorrows that we cannot rise above ....The Voice of Experience...

 

[Dalia]

I did drink after the dead of my fahter and my brother because i did want to take drug ( pharmacie) because we become more addicted then the alcool, i believe ?

Same thing happened to me. But I am now working on not doing it.

The same for me but the date that reminded me of my brother is the hardest an We had a lot in common then everything makes me think of him, music, film

How long has your brother been gone? I totally understand missing your sibling.

He died on December 25, 2015 ... and he was not sick at least I did not know he suddenly died a heart attack his wife my sister-in-law lost in the space of three years her mother, Her father and my brother, she is now alone in the apartment and the times are hard, but I am here for her, she is a good person who has suffered to much.

That's still pretty fresh and how awful to happen on Christmas. Your sister in law is lucky to have you still there for her. I understand how she must feel to lose that many people as I lost three in a year.

Just like you and your brother, me and my sister enjoyed music and movies a lot!!!!! So I miss having someone to share that with on the level we did.

He pass away on Christmas day that day that he love so much he was a quiet person, he was happy on every Christmas day he like to offert and he give me so much memories i think like your sister because we were family and We grew up together