A Couple of thoughts about relationships...

[Joz]

dropping your pants will fail--trust me!

I'm sure I don't really want to know how you came to this conclusion.

lot's of men have smiles and personalities that go unnoticed.

And that's a shame too. There are women who complain to me they just can't find a good man. And I hear from men that women are bitches. I think we all have an 'idea' of what would please us. Sometimes, if given a chance, you can be pleasantly surprised.

 

[dilloduck]

I'm sure I don't really want to know how you came to this conclusion.
And that's a shame too. There are women who complain to me they just can't find a good man. And I hear from men that women are bitches. I think we all have an 'idea' of what would please us. Sometimes, if given a chance, you can be pleasantly surprised.

agreed--challenging one's own ideas CAN be enlightening !

 

[dmp]

Thread Renamed: RWA Therapy Session with Joz!

 

[MyName]

The truth is this: Women don't really like sex that much, they just pretend to to trap a breadwinner. It goes like this: Feed the ego, then destroy it.

RWA - its no secret that you are among my favorite people, but the above statement, my dear, is BULL SHIT.

I dont like sex. I love it. I need it. I require it. I demand it.

Also...for the record, when I got together with DK, moneybags was NOT a name I would have given him. Between-the-sheets-pleaser, yes. Money, no.
When I married him, we couldnt afford to pay attention, but damnit the sex was good.

Word.

 

[manu1959]

I'm sure I don't really want to know how you came to this conclusion.
And that's a shame too. There are women who complain to me they just can't find a good man. And I hear from men that women are bitches. I think we all have an 'idea' of what would please us. Sometimes, if given a chance, you can be pleasantly surprised.

ok this is an easy one......the women that can't find a good man are bitches.....and the men that complain that all women are bitches are assholes

 

[SmarterThanYou]

RWA - its no secret that you are among my favorite people, but the above statement, my dear, is BULL SHIT.

I dont like sex. I love it. I need it. I require it. I demand it.

Also...for the record, when I got together with DK, moneybags was NOT a name I would have given him. Between-the-sheets-pleaser, yes. Money, no.
When I married him, we couldnt afford to pay attention, but damnit the sex was good.

Word.

 

[dmp]

DK is one lucky bastard...

He's Money. He's so money and he doesn't even know it...wow.

 

[manu1959]

How many times am I going to have to say, that you indeed are a real catch? Granted, you have a few things you need to work out. But, I think you're a pretty special guy.

he doesn't belive it..... so he does not project it to the outside world .... so there you go

 

[Joz]

he doesn't belive it..... so he does not project it to the outside world .... so there you go

Might be it, but I don't think so. I think we all can use a bit of reassuring now and again.

 

[manu1959]

Might be it, but I don't think so. I think we all can use a bit of reassuring now and again.

i agree with you completely......i have noticed that he is very self depricating and women pick up on that ....plus if you beat yourself up enough you eventually believe it and then project it to the outside world....

 

[dmp]

I've known couples - my marriage has been victim to this as well - who love to berate the other in public. When we were first married, my wife would sometimes laugh with her sisters when somebody would mention their husband as being capable to do anything - from cooking to cleaning to finding a place without asking directions. They would make subtle jabs at their men in a passive-aggressive way, so if they were called on it, they'd be able to use "I was just joking".

Husbands and Wives...Stick UP for your mate in public. A little jabbing is fine - but more than a couple jokes and it can get old. Nobody likes to be picked on by a group. Brag about your husbands to your friends/family. Proclaim the value and love you have for your wife, husbands, to your friends and family.

If you don't have eachothers' back, nobody else will.

 

[Joz]

i agree with you completely......i have noticed that he is very self depricating and women pick up on that ....plus if you beat yourself up enough you eventually believe it and then project it to the outside world....

Couldn't agree with you more.
But RWA doesn't seem to have that problem. I'm not sure it's really deprecating, but maybe a few doubts, like the rest of us.

 

[Joz]

I've known couples - my marriage has been victim to this as well - who love to berate the other in public....
Husbands and Wives...Stick UP for your mate in public. A little jabbing is fine ...
If you don't have each others' back, nobody else will.

Oh this is soooooo true. You ought to go to a 'shower', a 'home show' or some other all woman gathering. I believe this to be a betrayal of trust. Sure there are some things (about 20%) of stuff your partner does that drives you crazy. If your hubby (or wife) is THAT bad, get rid of them.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Thread Renamed: RWA Therapy Session with Joz!

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

 

[dmp]

Oh this is soooooo true. You ought to go to a 'shower', a 'home show' or some other all woman gathering. I believe this to be a betrayal of trust. Sure there are some things (about 20%) of stuff your partner does that drives you crazy. If your hubby (or wife) is THAT bad, get rid of them.

It's almost a mob-mentality which takes over, I suppose. It's very hurtfull. I feel one's spouse should go-to-bat for them every time they can. When Mary has the neighbor ladies over, I ask her to even lie a little bit!

"Oh Darin? Yeah...he's a WONDERFUL Man! He's such a great lover! Yeah...9" 3.5 wide. Seriously. He's neat and clean and polite! He never even LOOKS at another woman! Did I mention how good he is in the sack?"

 

[Joz]

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

Please tell me you had to go searching for that picture and didn't just have it lying around.

 

[manu1959]

I've known couples - my marriage has been victim to this as well - who love to berate the other in public. When we were first married, my wife would sometimes laugh with her sisters when somebody would mention their husband as being capable to do anything - from cooking to cleaning to finding a place without asking directions. They would make subtle jabs at their men in a passive-aggressive way, so if they were called on it, they'd be able to use "I was just joking".

Husbands and Wives...Stick UP for your mate in public. A little jabbing is fine - but more than a couple jokes and it can get old. Nobody likes to be picked on by a group. Brag about your husbands to your friends/family. Proclaim the value and love you have for your wife, husbands, to your friends and family.

If you don't have eachothers' back, nobody else will.

my wife did that once when were out to dinner with another couple.....i looked at her looked at them said....i have no desire to be spoken ill of as if i am not sitting here....goodnight... and left.....i had to do it a few more times but she has stopped.

 

[-Cp]

One other note here is that I often think -=d=- confuses love and passion..

I can love someone, but that doesn't mean I always feel passion towards them...

On the reverse, there are times when my wife and I can share passionate moments but that doesn't mean I feel like we're "in love" 100% of the time...

Nobody here can tell me they've never had "Porno sex" - i.e., sex for the sake of having sex - with their spouse..

If marriage was only about passion, what'd be the point? You can get that being single...

Additionally, the reverse argument could be made of:

If you loved your wife you wouldn't expect her to drop what she's doing to come and please you...

 

[dmp]

One other note here is that I often think -=d=- confuses love and passion..

I can love someone, but that doesn't mean I always feel passion towards them...

On the reverse, there are times when my wife and I can share passionate moments but that doesn't mean I feel like we're "in love" 100% of the time...

Nobody here can tell me they've never had "Porno sex" - i.e., sex for the sake of having sex - with their spouse..

If marriage was only about passion, what'd be the point? You can get that being single...

I never confuse the two. I know what I know. I don't know geometry. But I know 'love'. I don't know Alegbra. I know 'passion'. I don't know what it's like to walk on the moon. I know matters of the heart. I know people. I can read people. I know what it means to 'make love with somebody through nothing more than eye contact.' Yes, I have sat across the table from a woman, only holding her hand. We locked eyes and could 'feel' eachothers embrace. We held hand and rubbed fingers and time stood still. We barely blinked - we couldn't unlock our gaze. I could feel my heart pounding from within my chest. I could see goosebumps on her arms. Minutes passed like seconds, and an hour passed like a day.

I know what it's like end things with a woman BECAUSE I loved her, too.

Please don't lecture me about "Confusing Love and Passion".

The "ONLY" Difference between lovers and friends is 'passion'. Without passion, there'd be no need to get married. We'd just marry friends, have a kid, and live our seperate lives (even within the same house).

Do you want your wife to be a friend or lover? I choose 'lover'. A lover is something a friend will never be...

Before you start - yes, of course couples should be friends. But 'friendship' doesn't draw people together in an intimate way. Friendship isn't enough to hold a marriage together in hard times. There's no such thing as 'make-up hugs'.

Additionally, the reverse argument could be made of:

If you loved your wife you wouldn't expect her to drop what she's doing to come and please you...

You have completely missed the point if that is your counter-argument to my thread.

I'll break it down - this is the 2nd time i've done this:

Put the needs of your loved one ahead of the chores on your to-do list. Your list will be there forever...your loved ones will not.

It's not about sex - it's about much MORE than sex. It's about flirting. And hugging. And kissing. And 'just sitting with' your mate. It's about showing your mate - reminding them often, how very valuable they are to you. To use your quote "People do things they enjoy". If my wife tells me she loves me, yet doesn't show it, does she really love me? Stop settling for things. As MyName illuded to, there are certian reasonable demands of a mate. Love. Sex. Passion. Intimacy. Respect. etc.

I can anticipate your reply: "If you respect your wife, you won't make her drop what she's doing blah blah blah"

I'm telling you, if your mate DOES love you - if your mate DOES value you, he/she won't be able to help BUT drop what they are doing when you need them. Unless 'what they are doing' is carrying a baby in their arms, etc.


Sex however, is VITAL to keeping a marriage working. There is no other means as effective to bring people into intimacy. There is no other means by which we can feel completely vulnerable.

 

[Joz]

....
I can love someone, but that doesn't mean I always feel passion towards them...

You share this type of love with children/parents/friends.

On the reverse, there are times when my wife and I can share passionate moments but that doesn't mean I feel like we're "in love" 100% of the time...

Not feeling like your in love doens't mean you aren't in love

Nobody here can tell me they've never had "Porno sex" - i.e., sex for the sake of having sex - with their spouse..

I wouldn't exactly call that "porno sex". I'd like to think that's what a 'quickie' is all about.

If marriage was only about passion, what'd be the point? You can get that being single...

Anyone in a serious relationship knows that passion wanes. What you end up with is a deep, commited, heart-pounding love that really goes beyond words.