7 x 13 = 28

Discussion in 'Humor' started by SFC Ollie, Jul 16, 2010.

  1. SFC Ollie
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    SFC Ollie Still Marching

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHZzObQUgE8]YouTube - 7x13=28[/ame]
     
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  2. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    A modern day version of Abbott and Costello dialogue:


    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great! With what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1".

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
     
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  3. JBeukema
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    JBeukema BANNED

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    Some get this guy a job at the Department of Economic Planning and Research!
     
  4. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Great Abbott and Costello routine. Right up there with

    Abbott: Can you loan me twenty dollars ??

    Costello: I only have ten

    Abbott: Thats all right, you can owe me the other ten
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2010
  5. hitmark
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    hitmark Member

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    Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books?
    A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person...

    Teacher: What is 2k + k?
    Student: 3000!

    Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
    A: Pumpkin Pi!

    Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
    A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

    Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?
    A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!
     
  6. SFC Ollie
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    SFC Ollie Still Marching

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    Where is that 10 you owe me?
     
  7. hitmark
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    hitmark Member

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    A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.

    His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."

    Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.

    After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"

    "Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..."

    New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.

    According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
     

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