"You stay white, and I'll stay black"

[LOIE]

This thread is in response to several questions I’ve been asked recently. It has been suggested that since I am a white person, I cannot know what black people experience in this country.

In 1971 I moved from Lancaster County, PA into North Philadelphia to work at a Christian Youth Organization. I was one of a hand full of whites there. Then in 1980, I married a black man and we have lived together in black neighborhoods ever since. He told me from the very beginning “You stay white, and I’ll stay black,” and that’s what we have done. I feel as though I have been given insights into what black people experience. And since most white people don’t get those insights, I’ve been trying to share what I have learned. While I site other authors and sometimes refer to statistics or something I’ve read, my convictions have come from my experiences alone. And while you can argue with someone’s viewpoint and perceptions, you cannot argue with their experiences. It is what makes them who they are.

Folks have mentioned the Black Experience. My husband has told me many times over the years that the Black Experience in America is that you cannot be yourself. It’s being told by a white catholic brother that you can’t play the trumpet because your lips are too big (he suggests the tuba instead.) It’s being told by the white piano teacher that you can’t play the piano because your fingers are too small. It’s being followed around the store by the salespeople, picking up their negative, suspicious vibe before you even see them. It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals. It’s wanting to speak up at work when you see unequal treatment, but knowing you may lose your job if you do. It’s being angry at injustice, but being told to shut up and forget about the past, like it has nothing to do with the present.

 

[Defiant1]

I didn't know it was against the law to protect yourself or your property.

 

[DarkFury]

Stay what ever you want but stay out of my neighborhood okay?

 

[Moonglow]

This thread is in response to several questions I’ve been asked recently. It has been suggested that since I am a white person, I cannot know what black people experience in this country.

In 1971 I moved from Lancaster County, PA into North Philadelphia to work at a Christian Youth Organization. I was one of a hand full of whites there. Then in 1980, I married a black man and we have lived together in black neighborhoods ever since. He told me from the very beginning “You stay white, and I’ll stay black,” and that’s what we have done. I feel as though I have been given insights into what black people experience. And since most white people don’t get those insights, I’ve been trying to share what I have learned. While I site other authors and sometimes refer to statistics or something I’ve read, my convictions have come from my experiences alone. And while you can argue with someone’s viewpoint and perceptions, you cannot argue with their experiences. It is what makes them who they are.

Folks have mentioned the Black Experience. My husband has told me many times over the years that the Black Experience in America is that you cannot be yourself. It’s being told by a white catholic brother that you can’t play the trumpet because your lips are too big (he suggests the tuba instead.) It’s being told by the white piano teacher that you can’t play the piano because your fingers are too small. It’s being followed around the store by the salespeople, picking up their negative, suspicious vibe before you even see them. It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals. It’s wanting to speak up at work when you see unequal treatment, but knowing you may lose your job if you do. It’s being angry at injustice, but being told to shut up and forget about the past, like it has nothing to do with the present.

I've been told several times I couldn't be waiter because that was a woman's job..

 

[MarathonMike]

Or you could say "I'm an American and I can be anything fucking thing I want to be".

 

[Sunni Man]

It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals.

What do you expect when only 13% of American citizens are black, but they commit over 50% of all the crimes, and the vast majority of the murders? .....

 

[Vastator]

This about sums it up...

Urban Dictionary: mudshark

 

[RodISHI]

This thread is in response to several questions I’ve been asked recently. It has been suggested that since I am a white person, I cannot know what black people experience in this country.

In 1971 I moved from Lancaster County, PA into North Philadelphia to work at a Christian Youth Organization. I was one of a hand full of whites there. Then in 1980, I married a black man and we have lived together in black neighborhoods ever since. He told me from the very beginning “You stay white, and I’ll stay black,” and that’s what we have done. I feel as though I have been given insights into what black people experience. And since most white people don’t get those insights, I’ve been trying to share what I have learned. While I site other authors and sometimes refer to statistics or something I’ve read, my convictions have come from my experiences alone. And while you can argue with someone’s viewpoint and perceptions, you cannot argue with their experiences. It is what makes them who they are.

Folks have mentioned the Black Experience. My husband has told me many times over the years that the Black Experience in America is that you cannot be yourself. It’s being told by a white catholic brother that you can’t play the trumpet because your lips are too big (he suggests the tuba instead.) It’s being told by the white piano teacher that you can’t play the piano because your fingers are too small. It’s being followed around the store by the salespeople, picking up their negative, suspicious vibe before you even see them. It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals. It’s wanting to speak up at work when you see unequal treatment, but knowing you may lose your job if you do. It’s being angry at injustice, but being told to shut up and forget about the past, like it has nothing to do with the present.

Delores, that being told "you can't" is a part of the world. I am white plus a female that has been told "you can't" my entire life by some ass out there that is clueless, resentful, jealous or whatever and they even tried to give me the "you can't"s and I was already doing what ever it was that was in my heart to try to accomplish. If I believed "you can't" for every time I heard it I would have lived a very boring miserable existence. I would have never been able to have my own business at twenty-five as a single mother with two children. I would not have tried to paint and that would have cost me not only financially but also the pleasure of being able to do it. I was producing spec material in my mine operation when a state employee attempted to tell me "you can't do it that away" but I was already and it met the specifications to a tee. I would not accept "you can't" from any human when I believe I can, as the Word tells me with God all things are possible.

 

[IM2]

Or you could say "I'm an American and I can be anything fucking thing I want to be".

Shut that lie up. It's never been that way in America and I am pretty damned tired of white men who have had virtually everything handed to them at the expense of others, to include white women, talk about how we can say things. How about you saying we have fucked up and we ne to fix the damages we created because of our racism and sexism? Start with that.

 

[RodISHI]

Or you could say "I'm an American and I can be anything fucking thing I want to be".

Shut that lie up. It's never been that way in America and I am pretty damned tired of white men who have had virtually everything handed to them at the expense of others, to include white women, talk about how we can say things. How about you saying we have fucked up and we ne to fix the damages we created because of our racism and sexism? Start with that.

Too bad for you. I was on my own before I was twelve years old and nothing was handed to me. Get over your bad, bad self.

 

[Sunni Man]

Black people have this perpetual "victim" mentality with a chip on their shoulder about everything. It's the blame whitey syndrome they can't seem to overcome no matter how successful they become.

And the white women who marry them are just about as bad. I know one who's mixed son has been in and out of prison 2 or 3 times. Does she blame him for his criminal behavior? Nope, it's the racist cops who keep arresting little Tyrone for home invasion, felony gun possession, and selling drugs. And sending him to the white man's prison for no reason except his skin color. .....

 

[IM2]

This thread is in response to several questions I’ve been asked recently. It has been suggested that since I am a white person, I cannot know what black people experience in this country.

In 1971 I moved from Lancaster County, PA into North Philadelphia to work at a Christian Youth Organization. I was one of a hand full of whites there. Then in 1980, I married a black man and we have lived together in black neighborhoods ever since. He told me from the very beginning “You stay white, and I’ll stay black,” and that’s what we have done. I feel as though I have been given insights into what black people experience. And since most white people don’t get those insights, I’ve been trying to share what I have learned. While I site other authors and sometimes refer to statistics or something I’ve read, my convictions have come from my experiences alone. And while you can argue with someone’s viewpoint and perceptions, you cannot argue with their experiences. It is what makes them who they are.

Folks have mentioned the Black Experience. My husband has told me many times over the years that the Black Experience in America is that you cannot be yourself. It’s being told by a white catholic brother that you can’t play the trumpet because your lips are too big (he suggests the tuba instead.) It’s being told by the white piano teacher that you can’t play the piano because your fingers are too small. It’s being followed around the store by the salespeople, picking up their negative, suspicious vibe before you even see them. It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals. It’s wanting to speak up at work when you see unequal treatment, but knowing you may lose your job if you do. It’s being angry at injustice, but being told to shut up and forget about the past, like it has nothing to do with the present.

Delores, that being told "you can't" is a part of the world. I am white plus a female that has been told "you can't" my entire life by some ass out there that is clueless, resentful, jealous or whatever and they even tried to give me the "you can't"s and I was already doing what ever it was that was in my heart to try to accomplish. If I believed "you can't" for every time I heard it I would have lived a very boring miserable existence. I would have never been able to have my own business at twenty-five as a single mother with two children. I would not have tried to paint and that would have cost me not only financially but also the pleasure of being able to do it. I was producing spec material in my mine operation when a state employee attempted to tell me "you can't do it that away" but I was already and it met the specifications to a tee. I would not accept "you can't" from any human when I believe I can, as the Word tells me with God all things are possible.

It's not that simple lady and you know it. And its certainly not about accepting what somebody tells you that you can't do. And before you start off assuming, I am a black man with a masters degree who was told I can't do that by whites because I did not have the intelligence. I helped build a business too even though whites told us hat we were too stupid to know' business. Bu still I have bene stopped at least 10o times by police in the 40 years I have been driving while not breaking laws, denied promotions because f my color. Denied jobs when I was the candidate with the most experience and education. I was even interviewed for a job and presented ideas to the board they thought were great and never thought of and still did not get the job while some white kid with less experience did as I read the article in the paper..So it's not that simple and we need to be a bit more truthful in these kinds of conversations.

 

[IM2]

Or you could say "I'm an American and I can be anything fucking thing I want to be".

Shut that lie up. It's never been that way in America and I am pretty damned tired of white men who have had virtually everything handed to them at the expense of others, to include white women, talk about how we can say things. How about you saying we have fucked up and we ne to fix the damages we created because of our racism and sexism? Start with that.

Too bad for you. I was on my own before I was twelve years old and nothing was handed to me. Get over your bad, bad self.

Sure. Now go find someone who doesn't know how the system works in that regard to tell that one to.

 

[RodISHI]

This thread is in response to several questions I’ve been asked recently. It has been suggested that since I am a white person, I cannot know what black people experience in this country.

In 1971 I moved from Lancaster County, PA into North Philadelphia to work at a Christian Youth Organization. I was one of a hand full of whites there. Then in 1980, I married a black man and we have lived together in black neighborhoods ever since. He told me from the very beginning “You stay white, and I’ll stay black,” and that’s what we have done. I feel as though I have been given insights into what black people experience. And since most white people don’t get those insights, I’ve been trying to share what I have learned. While I site other authors and sometimes refer to statistics or something I’ve read, my convictions have come from my experiences alone. And while you can argue with someone’s viewpoint and perceptions, you cannot argue with their experiences. It is what makes them who they are.

Folks have mentioned the Black Experience. My husband has told me many times over the years that the Black Experience in America is that you cannot be yourself. It’s being told by a white catholic brother that you can’t play the trumpet because your lips are too big (he suggests the tuba instead.) It’s being told by the white piano teacher that you can’t play the piano because your fingers are too small. It’s being followed around the store by the salespeople, picking up their negative, suspicious vibe before you even see them. It’s walking down the street with a smile on your face and watching the first white lady you come across tighten the grip on her handbag. It’s standing on the corner when a white person pulls up to the stop sign, sees you and quickly locks all of the doors. It’s seeing black people on the news night after night, in handcuffs, being taken away as criminals. It’s wanting to speak up at work when you see unequal treatment, but knowing you may lose your job if you do. It’s being angry at injustice, but being told to shut up and forget about the past, like it has nothing to do with the present.

Delores, that being told "you can't" is a part of the world. I am white plus a female that has been told "you can't" my entire life by some ass out there that is clueless, resentful, jealous or whatever and they even tried to give me the "you can't"s and I was already doing what ever it was that was in my heart to try to accomplish. If I believed "you can't" for every time I heard it I would have lived a very boring miserable existence. I would have never been able to have my own business at twenty-five as a single mother with two children. I would not have tried to paint and that would have cost me not only financially but also the pleasure of being able to do it. I was producing spec material in my mine operation when a state employee attempted to tell me "you can't do it that away" but I was already and it met the specifications to a tee. I would not accept "you can't" from any human when I believe I can, as the Word tells me with God all things are possible.

It's not that simple lady and you know it. And its certainly not about accepting what somebody tells you that you can't do. And before you start off assuming, I am a black man with a masters degree who was told I can't do that by whites because I did not have the intelligence. I helped build a business too even though whites told us hat we were too stupid to know' business. Bu still I have bene stopped at least 10o times by police in the 40 years I have been driving while not breaking laws, denied promotions because f my color. Denied jobs when I was the candidate with the most experience and education. I was even interviewed for a job and presented ideas to the board they thought were great and never thought of and still did not get the job while some white kid with less experience did as I read the article in the paper..So it's not that simple and we need to be a bit more truthful in these kinds of conversations.

No one is saying anything is simple or easy but being an ass to other people is not going to get you anywhere. Nor is wallowing in your own mistakes. You dust yourself off and get back up and try again or you sit in a pity party for your self and wallow in the dirt. That is the way it works. If you treat others like an enemy who are not your enemy you will make them one.

 

[fncceo]

I couldn't be waiter because that was a woman's job..

Waiter is, by definition, a man's job. Waitress is a woman's job.

 

[RodISHI]

My grandfather taught me how to run machinery and even though I was excellent on equipment and the government was willing to pay half of my wages for I could work the guy told me he had men that had families to feed. Me and my children didn't mean jack shit to them but that didn't stop me and I did wallow in pity and give up.

 

[Moonglow]

I couldn't be waiter because that was a woman's job..

Waiter is, by definition, a man's job. Waitress is a woman's job.

The ad said they wanted someone to wait tables..

 

[IM2]

Black people have this perpetual "victim" mentality with a chip on their shoulder about everything. It's the blame whitey syndrome they can't seem to overcome no matter how successful they become.

And the white women who marry them are just about as bad. I know one who's mixed son has been in and out of prison 2 or 3 times. Does she blame him for his criminal behavior? Nope, it's the racist cops who keep arresting little Tyrone for home invasion, felony gun possession, and selling drugs. And sending him to the white man's prison for no reason except his skin color. .....

And how would you know this? Has your ass ever been black?

And if you were honest,you understand that if we are blaming :whitey" it's because it's "whiteys" fault.

I have dated white women with white children with no white father at home who have done the same things you say little Tyrone has done. Except they don't seem to go to prison.

 

[Sunni Man]

It's not that simple lady and you know it. And its certainly not about accepting what somebody tells you that you can't do. And before you start off assuming, I am a black man with a masters degree who was told I can't do that by whites because I did not have the intelligence. I helped build a business too even though whites told us hat we were too stupid to know' business. Bu still I have bene stopped at least 10o times by police in the 40 years I have been driving while not breaking laws, denied promotions because f my color. Denied jobs when I was the candidate with the most experience and education. I was even interviewed for a job and presented ideas to the board they thought were great and never thought of and still did not get the job while some white kid with less experience did as I read the article in the paper..So it's not that simple and we need to be a bit more truthful in these kinds of conversations.

I have no doubt that you were qualified for the job.

But they most likely didn't relish the though of working around someone with such a monumental attitude problem. .....

 

[fncceo]

The ad said they wanted someone to wait tables..

If the ad didn't specify a gender then you might have a potentially lucrative civil suit on your hands.