I have no experience with being on medications, so I can only imagine what life is like while on meds. About ten years ago, five people close to me died in a very tight time frame. One of the most terrible things about it is that while I recognized I was grieving, I didn't know who, specifically, that grief was for. I kept thinking that each of my loved ones were deserving of their own grief. I had no emotion but grief, but that is the closest I can get to your experience. What helped (eventually) was noting tiny joys...a sparkling dewdrop on a blade of grass, a small flower peaking out of frost... I don't know if paying attention to the very little things can break through your medications, but I thought I would offer it to you.