"Why Aren't Christians More Like Jesus!?!?"--A Blistering BB Article

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

 

[task0778]

Everybody should be more like Jesus. And that's not satire.

 

[Third Party]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

He sounds like Dr. Phil.

 

[SweetSue92]

Everybody should be more like Jesus. And that's not satire.

Can't disagree with that and never would.

The reason this is satire is because Leftists liberals miss that Jesus told very difficult truths. Sometimes the ones you don't want to hear. I am first in that line, by the way.

 

[Penelope]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

 

[SweetSue92]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

 

[Penelope]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

 

[SweetSue92]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

 

[Penelope]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

 

[Third Party]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

What???

 

[diver52]

The reason Christians do not follow the teachings of Jesus is because Jesus has been kicked upstairs. Rather than a teacher, whose teachings must be considered, Jesus is now a savior. You don't have to follow those teachings. You just need to accept him as your savior. In fact, many Christians go so far as to consider Jesus the personal savior, which is a true ego trip.

 

[Votto]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

So you say Jesus was a cool dude whom everyone loved?

Ever hear of the crucifixion?

LOL

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

So you say Jesus was a cool dude whom everyone loved?

Ever hear of the crucifixion?

LOL

Someone didn't read the article

 

[SweetSue92]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

 

[Third Party]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

 

[SweetSue92]

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

 

[Third Party]

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

 

[SweetSue92]

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

We don't even have to have that argument. There is no way on God's green earth that Penny has Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized in their entirety.

 

[fncceo]

Blonde and shirtless?

 

[Darkwind]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.