"Why Aren't Christians More Like Jesus!?!?"--A Blistering BB Article

[Penelope]

Ask me a question??

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

My husband, if its any of your business, is a RC and born in the USA. I was born and raise RC and Christianity is in my blood, RC Christianity, you know the type of Christianity with high moral standards, although I'm not a believer anymore.

 

[SweetSue92]

Blonde and shirtless?

I don't think that guy is even trying to play Jesus

 

[SweetSue92]

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

My husband, if its any of your business, is a RC and born in the USA. I was born and raise RC and Christianity is in my blood, RC Christianity, you know the type of Christianity with high moral standards.

That's interesting. Someday you can tell me where you picked up this virulent hate for Jews and your Holocaust denial then, because without a Muslim husband it really makes no sense.

Also Christianity is not "in your blood". If you knew the Gospels and had them memorized as you say, you would know this. So there, you really outed yourself already, Penny.

That was easy.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

 

[Darkwind]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

I understand that it is satire.

That does not preclude Me from debunking it. I also didn't find it all that humorous. I wasn't offended by it, but it was not very funny.

 

[Penelope]

Why so you can Google it Jackboots? Your illiteracy is obvious with every post.

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

Yes all kinds of interpretations, all kinds of sects of Christianity that fight with one another. I believe in putting it in context and the culture of the time the books were wrote in.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Also you're dead wrong about "couple of centuries to realize his words were the truth". So by that token Jesus died in approximately 35ish AD, no one believed a thing for about 160 years or so and then....what? The Gospel started spreading?

No

 

[Darkwind]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Also you're dead wrong about "couple of centuries to realize his words were the truth". So by that token Jesus died in approximately 35ish AD, no one believed a thing for about 160 years or so and then....what? The Gospel started spreading?

No

I did not say 'no one'. However, it took a couple of centuries for Christianity to begin to gain popularity.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

I understand that it is satire.

That does not preclude Me from debunking it. I also didn't find it all that humorous. I wasn't offended by it, but it was not very funny.

Of course you didn't find it funny.

Too square on the nose. It was funny for me because I've dealt with that argument four dozen times. You've probably shilled that argument. So you were busted.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Also you're dead wrong about "couple of centuries to realize his words were the truth". So by that token Jesus died in approximately 35ish AD, no one believed a thing for about 160 years or so and then....what? The Gospel started spreading?

No

I did not say 'no one'. However, it took a couple of centuries for Christianity to begin to gain popularity.

No kidding

That does not make it untrue

 

[SweetSue92]

No I have it memorized, not like Protestants , I remember the book and chapter. You Protestants memorize one liners.

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

Yes all kinds of interpretations, all kinds of sects of Christianity that fight with one another. I believe in putting it in context and the culture of the time the books were wrote in.

Written in, Penny Jackboots. Not "wrote in".

Also, what now of your claim that you have all four Gospels memorized, chapter and verse? I hope you realize now what a ridiculous claim that was, and you won't repeat that mistake. To me that shows how deeply ignorant you are about the Bible. I try to read the Bible every day. Anyone who does this KNOWS it would be exceedingly rare for any human being to memorize, chapter and verse, every single word of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But this is what you claimed.

That shows a deep ignorance of how much is in the Bible. You think there's so little there that, meh, you just know it all. I doubt you could memorize even the very first chapter of only Matthew. Because even THAT is so much.

ETA: Penny, here is Matthew Chapter One, KJV. Once you have this, you have 27 more chapters in Matthew; 16 chapters in Mark; 24 chapters in Luke and 21 chapters in John.

The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse;
6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias;
7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa;
8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias;
9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias;
11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor;
14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud;
15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob;
16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

 

[Penelope]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

---------------------------------------------------
and that site writes about Democrats, attempting to shame them.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what they do. Christianity has needed something like the Babylon Bee for a very long time. They also point their Satire Sword at the Church, Christianity and all things like that often--and right on the nose too.

 

[Penelope]

Penny Jackboots claims she has the entire Gospels memorized

Sure Penny sure because you cannot use even proper elementary English grammar here, but sure 'nough you have the entire books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John memorized chapter and verse

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

Yes all kinds of interpretations, all kinds of sects of Christianity that fight with one another. I believe in putting it in context and the culture of the time the books were wrote in.

Written in, Penny Jackboots. Not "wrote in".

Also, what now of your claim that you have all four Gospels memorized, chapter and verse? I hope you realize now what a ridiculous claim that was, and you won't repeat that mistake. To me that shows how deeply ignorant you are about the Bible. I try to read the Bible every day. Anyone who does this KNOWS it would be exceedingly rare for any human being to memorize, chapter and verse, every single word of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But this is what you claimed.

That shows a deep ignorance of how much is in the Bible. You think there's so little there that, meh, you just know it all. I doubt you could memorize even the very first chapter of only Matthew. Because even THAT is so much.

ETA: Penny, here is Matthew Chapter One, KJV. Once you have this, you have 27 more chapters in Matthew; 16 chapters in Mark; 24 chapters in Luke and 21 chapters in John.

The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse;
6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias;
7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa;
8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias;
9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias;
11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor;
14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud;
15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob;
16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

---------------------------------------------------------------
See I know better than to believe in the virgin birth. That is like an alien impregnated a female on earth , an alien that is male and female. Also I do not read the King James bible.

Genesis 1:27 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)
27 God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them;
male and femal he created them


But we know there are 2 stories in the beginning of Genesis, one where Adam tried out every animal and told God none suited him so God did surgery on the man.

 

[Penelope]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

---------------------------------------------------
and that site writes about Democrats, attempting to shame them.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what they do. Christianity has needed something like the Babylon Bee for a very long time. They also point their Satire Sword at the Church, Christianity and all things like that often--and right on the nose too.

What do you expect from Evangelicals and fundamentalists. They think they are the right kind of Christians and really they are bigots.

 

[SweetSue92]

What denomination is Penny?

She grew up Catholic but is not Christian now. Word on the street is that her husband is Muslim which makes sense, and which I have asked her before--fits with her super liberal views and esp. her hatred of Jews and Holocaust denial.

She can come along and confirm, deny or remain silent.

The problem with memorization is it does not leave much room for interpretation.

Yes all kinds of interpretations, all kinds of sects of Christianity that fight with one another. I believe in putting it in context and the culture of the time the books were wrote in.

Written in, Penny Jackboots. Not "wrote in".

Also, what now of your claim that you have all four Gospels memorized, chapter and verse? I hope you realize now what a ridiculous claim that was, and you won't repeat that mistake. To me that shows how deeply ignorant you are about the Bible. I try to read the Bible every day. Anyone who does this KNOWS it would be exceedingly rare for any human being to memorize, chapter and verse, every single word of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But this is what you claimed.

That shows a deep ignorance of how much is in the Bible. You think there's so little there that, meh, you just know it all. I doubt you could memorize even the very first chapter of only Matthew. Because even THAT is so much.

ETA: Penny, here is Matthew Chapter One, KJV. Once you have this, you have 27 more chapters in Matthew; 16 chapters in Mark; 24 chapters in Luke and 21 chapters in John.

The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;
3 And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram;
4 And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon;
5 And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse;
6 And Jesse begat David the king; and David the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias;
7 And Solomon begat Roboam; and Roboam begat Abia; and Abia begat Asa;
8 And Asa begat Josaphat; and Josaphat begat Joram; and Joram begat Ozias;
9 And Ozias begat Joatham; and Joatham begat Achaz; and Achaz begat Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias begat Manasses; and Manasses begat Amon; and Amon begat Josias;
11 And Josias begat Jechonias and his brethren, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel begat Abiud; and Abiud begat Eliakim; and Eliakim begat Azor;
14 And Azor begat Sadoc; and Sadoc begat Achim; and Achim begat Eliud;
15 And Eliud begat Eleazar; and Eleazar begat Matthan; and Matthan begat Jacob;
16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations.
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:
25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

---------------------------------------------------------------
See I know better than to believe in the virgin birth. That is like an alien impregnated a female on earth , an alien that is male and female. Also I do not read the King James bible.

Genesis 1:27 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)
27 God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them;
male and femal he created them


But we know there are 2 stories in the beginning of Genesis, one where Adam tried out every animal and told God none suited him so God did surgery on the man.

Penny focus. We were talking about your claim that you had the Gospels memorized.

 

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

---------------------------------------------------
and that site writes about Democrats, attempting to shame them.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what they do. Christianity has needed something like the Babylon Bee for a very long time. They also point their Satire Sword at the Church, Christianity and all things like that often--and right on the nose too.

What do you expect from Evangelicals and fundamentalists. They think they are the right kind of Christians and really they are bigots.

You're a Jackboots wearing bigot so you have us all beat, dear.

 

[Penelope]

Yeah, Jesus was so popular and cool they killed him for it. As sauce on the meal, it took a couple of centuries for people to realize his words were the truth.

Something tells Me that the author of this little piece would be at home on those benighted times before Christianity.

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

---------------------------------------------------
and that site writes about Democrats, attempting to shame them.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what they do. Christianity has needed something like the Babylon Bee for a very long time. They also point their Satire Sword at the Church, Christianity and all things like that often--and right on the nose too.

What do you expect from Evangelicals and fundamentalists. They think they are the right kind of Christians and really they are bigots.

You're a Jackboots wearing bigot so you have us all beat, dear.

Do you believe in the virgin birth, and by the way what type of Christian are you??

 

[JoeB131]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

Yup, keep telling yourself that Jesus hated Gays and Mexicans, just like you do.

 

[SweetSue92]

Psssssst: (Lean in close) It's satire. He wasn't that cool and popular in his time.

It's funny to me that I put IN BOLD that the piece is satire and people are STILL not getting it. They're so TRIGGERED by a piece about Jesus Christ they can't even process it properly....WOW

What is satire:
Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government, or society itself into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.

---------------------------------------------------
and that site writes about Democrats, attempting to shame them.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what they do. Christianity has needed something like the Babylon Bee for a very long time. They also point their Satire Sword at the Church, Christianity and all things like that often--and right on the nose too.

What do you expect from Evangelicals and fundamentalists. They think they are the right kind of Christians and really they are bigots.

You're a Jackboots wearing bigot so you have us all beat, dear.

Do you believe in the virgin birth, and by the way what type of Christian are you??

You are not a Christian if you don't believe in the Virgin Birth, and I am a born-again Christian. I'm not telling you my denomination; it doesn't matter. It's not a big deal.