Since you are going to live in Phil's world please make sure you stick to all Biblical injunctions and not just those that suit your present mindset. A few are listed below. Full disclosure, I kinda like a more secular society where everyone is accepted and stupid ideas are called stupid ideas.
"We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit."
Interesting, let's see if we can follow this Holy Book on family relations and whatnot? Great way to get rid of lots of congressmen.
"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death." (Leviticus 20:10 NLT)
How old does this have to be enforced at? Lots of children smack out when little? Any age limit in that book on the family? My granddaughter hit me at 14 months, do grandpas count too?
"Whoever strikes his father or mother shall be put to death." (Exodus 21:15 NAB)
Jeez, this sure would control the population, and solve lots of court cases, my brother and partner of twenty five years may complain though.
"If a man lies with a male as with a women, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives." (Leviticus 20:13 NAB)
Thank goodness only priest's daughter get the hot seat.
"A priest's daughter who loses her honor by committing fornication and thereby dishonors her father also, shall be burned to death." (Leviticus 21:9 NAB)
Suppose it was you who broke this scared thing, should you both be stoned. Is it OK if you marry the un-virgin or does that not count? Hard questions here, ask Phil.
"But if this charge is true (that she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst." (Deuteronomy 22:20-21 NAB)
These Bible folks sound a bit like Union organizers? No work on Sunday, huh. Sound like communists to me. Imagine the stampede at Walmart after they announce the slaying out in the parking lot! "The LORD then gave these further instructions to Moses: 'Tell the people of Israel to keep my Sabbath day, for the Sabbath is a sign of the covenant between me and you forever. It helps you to remember that I am the LORD, who makes you holy. Yes, keep the Sabbath day, for it is holy. Anyone who desecrates it must die; anyone who works on that day will be cut off from the community. Work six days only, but the seventh day must be a day of total rest. I repeat: Because the LORD considers it a holy day, anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death.'" (Exodus 31:12-15 NLT)
Is this retroactively possible? I mean suppose you find out after the sons have flew the coup? We need to keep track of everyone. Looks like we'll need an ID card with parental information included.
"Make ready to slaughter his sons for the guilt of their fathers; Lest they rise and posses the earth, and fill the breadth of the world with tyrants." (Isaiah 14:21 NAB)
All around good advice, why fight over your inheritance, get rid of them before the arguments begin?
"Today you have been ordained for the service of the LORD, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Because of this, he will now give you a great blessing." (Exodus 32:26-29 NLT)
The Long Island Medium's show may be cancelled like those duck guys.
"A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortuneteller shall be put to death by stoning; they have no one but themselves to blame for their death." (Leviticus 20:27 NAB)
I'm sure most are guilty of this at least once, maybe you have to do it a dozen times of more, you think.
"All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense." (Leviticus 20:9 NLT)
Here's the cure for juvenile delinquency. Forty two of them yet.
"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces." (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)