What is a penis?

[Bootneck]

The new husband and wife retired to the honeymoon suite, the new husband went into the bathroom to take a shower.

His wife called from the bedroom "Honey I have a question that I have been meaning to ask you for a while now but I'm a little shy".

"Sweetheart there is no reason to be shy now we are married, what did you want to ask me?"

She replied "Well I've always wanted to know what a penis is".

"Just give me a moment and I'll be out and I will happily answer you question" he replied and splashed a little more cologne on and wrapped a towel around his waist and entered the bedroom with a beaming smile on his face.

"What was your question honey"? he asked.

Shyly she replied "Well I've always wanted to know what a penis is"

With a flourish he pulled the towel of his body and proudly pointed to his member and said " This my darling is a penis".

She looked for a moment then said " OH! the same as a cock only SMALLER

 

[Jay Canuck]

man!.... your face must have got red!

 

[Bootneck]

man!.... your face must have got red!

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............












........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

 

[Phoenix]

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............



........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

Awwwww .... poor Bootneck.

 

[Neser Boha]

man!.... your face must have got red!

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............












........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

Do you sit on it much? And if it happens, do you go like: "Fuck, I almost sat on my penis again!"



I crack myself up...

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Certified Internet Ruler

|--1--2-4-56912

 

[xsited1]

man!.... your face must have got red!

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............

......instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

How can you type with hooves?

 

[Phoenix]

Certified Internet Ruler

|--1--2--4-56912

 

[Bootneck]

man!.... your face must have got red!

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............












........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

Do you sit on it much? And if it happens, do you go like: "Fuck, I almost sat on my penis again!"



I crack myself up...

No. But other people do. Woman sat next to me on the bus the other day. She sat right on it. I didn't know whether I was going or coming.

 

[Bootneck]

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............



........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

Awwwww .... poor Bootneck.

I know.

 

[Neser Boha]

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............









........instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

Do you sit on it much? And if it happens, do you go like: "Fuck, I almost sat on my penis again!"



I crack myself up...

No. But other people do. Woman sat next to me on the bus the other day. She sat right on it. I didn't know whether I was going or coming.

Ew...!

One of my ex's kept sitting on his balls It was so funny every time he did..

 

[Bootneck]

man!.... your face must have got red!

Happy to say I've never been married.

But, I do dream of having an eight inch penis............

......instead of this fifteen inch monster that hangs down my thigh!

How can you type with hooves?

There are the hooves and there are the hoove nots. I guess you fall into the latter.

 

[Bootneck]

A cucumber, gherkin and a penis are chatting in a bar, the cucumber pipes up, "when I grow big and fat I get sliced up and eaten". The gherkin retorts, "You think you've got it bad, when I get big and fat they lock me in a jar and pickle me". Penis replies " fellas, when I get big and fat someone puts a plastic bag on my head, puts me in a dark moist place then bangs my head in until I throw up and pass out!

 

[Bootneck]

a sad life of a penis.


I've only one eye .
My hair’s a mess.
I live with two nuts.
my neighbour’s an arsehole.
My best friend is a twat.
my owner’s a wanker.
what a life!!!!

 

[Bootneck]

'Of course I won't laugh, said the nurse. I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Ten minutes later, she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me,what seems to be the problem?'

'It's swollen,' Fred replied.

 

[American Horse]

the word PENIS derives from a combination of two latin words, ''paen" (almost) and "insula" (island.)
A peninsula (visualize Florida on a map) is "almost an island"
A peninsula remains connected to the main body while an island is seperate from the main body, which it may or may not have once been a part of.

No Man is an Island

No man is an island, entire of itself
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main
if a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls
it tolls for thee.


-- John Donne