wedding etiquette....an o hell moment~help

[eots]

scenario: friend is getting married....mails out all the invites...invites a married couple she has been friends with for years...she knows the male longer and better than the female of the couple..when shazam....she finds out the couple have recently separated...the male has fallen for another woman...tells the female....serves separation papers...which she is refusing to sign...this all happens in about a two week period.

female is devastated and feels blind sided, she is digging in and getting bitter...male is living with friends, has new g/f etc. but in the throngs of guilt...wants to settle this quickly...offering a buy out on both house and business... now here is the problem...the wedding invite is to both of them as one couple....but now they are separated....does she mail him one..saying so and so and guest..taking the chance he will bring his new g/f to the wedding?

so far our discussion has been...his parents will be there....his wife will be there...would he have the balls to roll in with his new g/f? what does one do in this case? its a nightmare for the locals...she is a sweet girl and was totally blindsided...right before their 5th anniversary...now i have told my friend she is only hearing one side of this story...but she is mad that her male friend has not told her anything...i have cautioned her...not to get to pulled into this..and told her that of course he hasnt figured out how to tell his friends that he has been a total dog..but to figure out the wedding invites....

are they now expected to come as a couple? for appearances? separate with guests? would he have the nerve to roll in with his new bit of fluff? this may prove to be a social mess...as it is a small town...everyone knows what everyone knows...

just insure there are a lot of drinks available for all at the reception and let the liquor do the thikin...and I'm sure it will a memorable occasion for all one way or another

 

[strollingbones]

see eots agrees with me...and yea the booze will be flowing....this is simply the reason i hate southern funerals and/or weddings...it just never brings out the best in people....imho

 

[007]

see eots agrees with me...and yea the booze will be flowing....this is simply the reason i hate southern funerals and/or weddings...it just never brings out the best in people....imho

What... you don't think a good ole brawl is fun? ...

 

[Xenophon]

Stop worrying and invite em both with guests.

If they act up throw them the fuck out, problem solved.

Sometimes women make the easiest things difficult.

 

[strollingbones]

who rattled your helmet? well its up to her...not me...i just never thought about it....when she ask me...i told her...it would work out one way or another...i bet the next scheme will be....seeing the "other woman"....in a way ...if he brought her that would sure stop that shit...he has to know everyone is curious...

curiousty may have killed the cat...but satisfaction brought it back....some stoned person said

 

[strollingbones]

hmmm i work everyday also but i do enjoy down time....and with gardening i am getting less and less of it...we never play as much as we should.

 

[strollingbones]

o and by the end of the day...i have it all done...i just dont do it on a time table...if i committ to doing something i will do it...i may piss and moan but i will do it...

 

[007]

hmmm i work everyday also but i do enjoy down time....and with gardening i am getting less and less of it...we never play as much as we should.

'Aight.... and I broke up with my wife and three weeks later showed up a party at the place she was living my new girl friend. She didn't give a shit, I didn't give a shit, no one gave a shit... I guess we weren't in the shit business. I mean what's the big deal? We were BROKE UP.

But if the person you've posted this about is stressing to heavy about it, uninvite them both. If she's not, invite them both and let the chips fall where they may. If they act up, boot their asses to the curb.

 

[ba1614]

Stop worrying and invite em both with guests.

If they act up throw them the fuck out, problem solved.

Sometimes women make the easiest things difficult.

That's what I do, send each another invite, with friend, and let them do whatever they think is right.

I keep my eye on this that night though, sounds like maybe a good ole cat fight might happen.

 

[Big Black Dog]

she wasnt amused by my sage advice..../QUOTE]

I can't believe anybody ignoring your advice, bones. When bones speaks, everybody listens! I bet that would make a good commercial...

 

[007]

Stop worrying and invite em both with guests.

If they act up throw them the fuck out, problem solved.

Sometimes women make the easiest things difficult.

That's what I do, send each another invite, with friend, and let them do whatever they think is right.

I keep my eye on this that night though, sounds like maybe a good ole cat fight might happen.

Then if the two in question that BROKE UP are still so INTO each other that they're going to get JEALOUS of their new significant others, than they SHOULDN'T have broke up in the FIRST PLACE.

Damn... if I break up with someone I couldn't give a RATS ASS who they go out with. I'M DONE WITH THEM!

 

[Luissa]

I threw a party once and my ex boyfriend who had dumped me the month before for another girl came to the party with the girl he dumped me for. The guy is going to bring the new women. The wife should find herself a date and have a good time.

 

[Xenophon]

See bones?

Stop worrying and just send the damn thing.

It will be fun for all!

 

[AllieBaba]

ahhh but on the new invite....is for him only or him and guest? to me its too soon to get friends involved...this things do work out at times....they are young and think its the worst thing that could ever happen...i say the invite is only for him...dont take any chance of their martial discord spoiling your day

I wouldn't do anything. Leave the invitation stand. They can go together, separately, or not at all.

No extras, no fireworks.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Send another invite, their lives ain't your problem.

Their lives might become the problem of the couple getting married, though, if it results in a big ugly scene at their wedding.

Sounds to me like instead of just trying to work it out by sending another invite, your friend ought to call each of these people and talk to them directly. See how THEY feel about it, and what they think they might be able to handle politely. Remember, what's important here is your friend's wedding day, and everything involved needs to be in service to that. If these people are really his/her friends, they will find a way not to spoil the wedding with their personal problems. If they're not willing to do that, they're not very good friends, and shouldn't be invited at all.

 

[JenT]

see ...my friend doesnt think he will roll in with new g/f....i say new g/f will demand to go...wife is looking good...we are wondering if she should just move on...too...i think wife is still in adjustment phase...but man the bitterness phase will hit soon. hubby will move on from the guilt phase...my advice has been to send him an invite....and if she feels like she has to include the and guest part..then you are taking chances...i say just invite him.

How does the "other woman" show up at a wedding with a man still married to his wife that will be there?

All the grandmas in the joint should take their canes.

 

[Cecilie1200]

see ...my friend doesnt think he will roll in with new g/f....i say new g/f will demand to go...wife is looking good...we are wondering if she should just move on...too...i think wife is still in adjustment phase...but man the bitterness phase will hit soon. hubby will move on from the guilt phase...my advice has been to send him an invite....and if she feels like she has to include the and guest part..then you are taking chances...i say just invite him.

How does the "other woman" show up at a wedding with a man still married to his wife that will be there?

All the grandmas in the joint should take their canes.

People are incredibly ill-mannered and self-absorbed these days. Haven't you noticed?

 

[JenT]

see ...my friend doesnt think he will roll in with new g/f....i say new g/f will demand to go...wife is looking good...we are wondering if she should just move on...too...i think wife is still in adjustment phase...but man the bitterness phase will hit soon. hubby will move on from the guilt phase...my advice has been to send him an invite....and if she feels like she has to include the and guest part..then you are taking chances...i say just invite him.

How does the "other woman" show up at a wedding with a man still married to his wife that will be there?

All the grandmas in the joint should take their canes.

People are incredibly ill-mannered and self-absorbed these days. Haven't you noticed?

If I was the BRIDE I'd have a fit. This is supposed to be a celebration about commitment, and he wants to bring his tramp that can't wait for the divorce? Or did I miss the part where they got divorced?

The injured wife can't react, she needs to hold her head high and be above all this, but the next town Quilting B should sound more like strategic warfare, who's taking the sharpest knitting needles and who's going to clean up the evidence.

 

[Cecilie1200]

How does the "other woman" show up at a wedding with a man still married to his wife that will be there?

All the grandmas in the joint should take their canes.

People are incredibly ill-mannered and self-absorbed these days. Haven't you noticed?

If I was the BRIDE I'd have a fit. This is supposed to be a celebration about commitment, and he wants to bring his tramp that can't wait for the divorce? Or did I miss the part where they got divorced?

The injured wife can't react, she needs to hold her head high and be above all this, but the next town Quilting B should sound more like strategic warfare, who's taking the sharpest knitting needles and who's going to clean up the evidence.

This is why I said the friend needs to give up trying to figure it out herself with issuing invitations, and go straight to the potential source of trouble. Anyone who doesn't understand that the primary concern in all this is and should be that the wedding go smoothly isn't a good friend and doesn't deserve to be invited. Good friends will tell her honestly whether or not they can handle the situation.

And yes, it's completely appropriate to tell the husband that under the circumstances, it is preferred that he not bring his chippie.

 

[AllieBaba]

Exactly. Why the bride is even worried about it, I don't know.

They can come together, separately, or stay home and pout. Who really gives a shit. The wedding will happen regardless, and the less drama the better.