Unconventional Omens - Of Coffee Cups, Baseball Bats and Sponge Bob's Brats

The BKP

Grand Inquistor
Jul 15, 2008
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In honor of Halloween this coming Friday, I thought I would kickoff the week with a wee electoral fright.

Having previously scared Republicans with the specter of FDR’s ghost and the electoral torment he inflicts on them every sixteen years, I’ve unearthed a few more foreboding omens portending impending presidential perils for the pachyderm party.

As infighting mounts in the McCain campaign, Conservatives begin openly pointing fingers and red states teeter like unstable dominoes under a combination of Senator Obama’s overwhelming media assault and coordinated ground campaign, a bit of unconventional political wisdom has surfaced that adds insult to what increasingly appears to be fatal injury.

In addition to trailing his Democratic nemesis by 7.6 percent in the Real Clear Politics national average, Senator McCain trails Senator Obama 60 to 40 percent among politically-minded coffee drinkers at 7-11 conveniece stores.

This follows the announcement last week that Senator Obama won Nickelodeon’s “Kids Pick the President” poll. With over two million votes cast, the Illinois Democrat defeated McCain by a margin of 51 to 49 percent among those participating in the children channel’s poll. Announcement of Obama’s Nick victory builds on the momentum of his prior success in the Scholastic News Presidential Election Poll, where he soundly dispatched his Republican rival with a 57 to 39 percent drubbing.

Though the Scholastic poll garnered just shy of 250,000 votes from kids spanning first to twelfth grades, its track record for picking the eventual presidential victor is impressive; having only missed the mark in 1948 giving the nod to Dewey over Truman and 1960 when youthful voters selected Nixon over Kennedy.

Taking a closer look at the Scholastic results, Michigan kids supported Obama over McCain 57 to 40 percent, while Colorado went for the Republican stalwart 61 to 36 percent. More troubling for the McCain camp though is Obama’s decisive victory in the crucial battleground states of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania with an average seven percent margin of victory at 52 to 45 percent.

While many of you may scoff and ask why Republicans should give a second thought to - much less loose sleep over – convenience store caffeine junkies and clamoring Sponge Bob fans, I would suggest one set aside their initial visceral reaction for deeper consideration.

The 7-11 Election ’08 promotion, which is based on the purchase of coffee in cups denoting the customer’s presidential candidate of preference, provides a snapshot of its clientele. Admittedly it only covers the 30 odd states with 7-11 locations and is patently unscientific. Nonetheless, one might expect those frequenting 7-11 to be working to middle class voters, two critical ingredients in the successful presidential electoral formula.

Furthermore, with George Bush cups outselling Al Gore’s by one percent in 2000 and 2004 sales identically tracking Bush’s 51 to 49 percent victory over Kerry, McCain’s current 20 point deficit - and his loosing all but two of the states involved - should at the very least give Republicans pause, if not send icy chills creeping up their spines.

Adding to the caffeine-fueled fears tormenting Republicans this week is the old adage “out of the mouth of babes”.

Having participated myself in the 1976 Scholastic poll, I went home and regretfully informed my parents that Jimmy Carter would defeat President Ford. Sure enough, the Georgian peanut farmer defeated the Wolverine Republican incumbent and ushered in the era of malaise and stagflation.

So the question must be asked – How can the fourth grade class of Littlepage Elementary in Charleston, West Virginia - or any public school for that fact – divine the political tea leaves and accurately predict the winner of a presidential election?

The answer is relatively simple, really.

With their worlds rooted in school, friends and other less weighty matters, children often reflect what they hear at home.

If their parents support one candidate over another, they tend to choose that candidate in the Scholastic poll. While in some instances it may be nothing more than a case of name recognition, other students consciously choose their parent’s candidate in an effort to earn their approval. In either case, the political clairvoyance of our children has been strikingly accurate in divining the eventual winner, if not the precise voting percentages.

That brings us to one final bit of chilling unconventional political wisdom.

The Philadelphia Phillies currently stand one victory away from seizing the title in the World Series. The last time the Phillies were World Champions – 1980 – Jimmy Carter was president. The country, held in the icy grip of a deep recession, longed for change. Ronald Reagan was the candidate of change, while Carter was the status quo candidate. Ultimately the nation’s desire for change cost the incumbent party the White House as well as several seats in Congress.

That being the case – and the fact that Florida is still in play while Pennsylvania appears firmly lodged in the blue column – one shouldn’t be surprised to find the McCain camp putting on their rally caps for the Devil Rays this evening. Should Tampa Bay fall to the Phillies’ bruising bats, though, it will be just another in a growing list of ominous signs that the treats will be few and far between for the McCain campaign this Halloween, with the ultimate trick being delivered a mere, but agonizingly painful week from tomorrow.

Is that John McCain sitting in that most serene and sincere pumpkin patch, faithful readers? Stay tuned for further updates as events warrant and the Great Electoral Pumpkin rises to shower voters and electoral victories over all the good little candidates across the nation.
 
Another great essay from you BKP!


It's so refreshing to read!

Loved this part (among others:)


Is that John McCain sitting in that most serene and sincere pumpkin patch, faithful readers? Stay tuned for further updates as events warrant and the Great Electoral Pumpkin rises to shower voters and electoral victories over all the good little candidates across the nation.


:)
 

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